Stay
by HannahFranziska
Summary: Sirius is released from Azkaban, once more a free man, to find that there is nothing left of his old family. Moony has had almost seven years to move on and Harry… well, he has found new parents in his aunt and uncle and does not even remember his godfather. Following a desperate need to make up for lost time, he goes looking for a purpose and promptly finds one he hadn't expected.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everyone :-)_

 _This is the first story of my own creation that I've posted in more than five years, and the first one in English. I've been back into fanfiction for a few months now, reading and writing, and I figure it's time to get out there ;-) Have fun!_

-oOo-

"Harry has to stay with his aunt and uncle. He is safe there. I know you want him with you, Sirius, but I think it is the boy's safety that is of the utmost importance in this case."

Dumbledore's words were still ringing in Sirius' ears when he drove his motorcycle down Privet Drive, the street that Harry lived in. What right had Dumbledore to decide about his godson? Lily had told Sirius enough about her sister to make him consider her with caution. She reminded him of Regulus – he and Lily had once laughed about that. They carried the exact same prejudice with the exact same conviction. The only difference was that they would each regard the other as the worst of human kind. It would have been funny had it not been so sad.

He stopped in front of number four. It was a very neat house with a spotless front garden and a polished car. It looked very foreign to him. He had never been inside a house that made it so incredibly clear that muggles lived in it. In fact, he had hardly ever been in any house that muggles lived in. He had been to Lily's parents' once, a long time ago. This one bore little resemblance to it, though. It was a lot bigger and by the looks of it a lot more expensive.

He got off his bike and looked around. A woman was staring at him from across the street. He wondered what she was thinking. He was in muggle clothes, the leather jacket that had been sitting in an evidence room in the Department for Magical Law Enforcement for the previous seven years. He had not chosen to wear it – it was part of the only outfit he owned. Was it unfashionable now? Back when he had bought it, it had gone well with his motorbike. Lily had laughed when she had seen it and told him that it suited him.

He winked at the woman who turned away in embarrassment and went back to trimming her rose bushes. Sirius grinned to himself for a second – he still had it, even after a few years without practice. Nonetheless, his confidence grew considerably thinner as he walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. He had just proven to himself that he could still make forty-year-old women blush. That did not mean that he was in any way up to the task he had come here for. At least he was wearing muggle clothes, and it was pure luck that that was the case. Peter had had nosey muggle neighbours and that was the reason why seven years on, he could see Harry. Was that funny? Or ironic? Probably neither.

Maybe there was not even anybody home, he thought to himself. Maybe he would just have to come back another time. At the moment, that did not seem like that much of a bad thing.

Could he really expect Harry to be happy to see him? He had been so small when they had met the last time. He would not remember it. He was eight now. Was that still small enough to be scared of him? Would he even like him? He had no reason to, of course.

He heard someone approaching the door from the other side. Would his aunt and uncle even let Harry talk to him? They might not actually be that bad – after all, they had been looking after him since he had been a baby. He had to be like a son to them.

The door was opened and Sirius found himself face to face with a wide, moustached face. It squinted as its owner looked Sirius up and down. It could not have been plainer that he did not approve of what he saw.

'Yes?'

Sirius cleared his throat nervously. 'Hello, Sir. My name is Sirius Black. You must be Mr Dursley?'

The man opposite gave a short nod.

'I came to see Harry Potter. I was a friend of his parents'.'

Mr Dursley's expression changed from disapproving to aggressive in an instant. 'You have no business here.'

Sirius' feeling of dislike grew by the second but he was determined to stay polite. 'I would very much like to see him, so if you would…'

'You're one of _their_ lot, aren't you?' Vernon Dursley interrupted.

Sirius was not entirely sure what was meant by that but he certainly did not like the tone. 'I was the best man at Lily and James' wedding,' he tried to explain, pulling a picture from his pocket and holding it out so that the other man could glare at it.

He had bewitched the photograph so that it would not move. It was a good picture, even Lily had agreed. It showed her in her wedding dress, stood between her new husband and the best man. Both James and Sirius had their arms around her, James' around her waist, Sirius' around the back of her neck with his hand resting on James' shoulder. They had all been so happy that day – it had been a break from the war and all the fighting.

While Mr Dursley was still glaring at the picture, a child entered the hallway to stand behind Mr Dursley. Sirius spotted dark hair but it was too dark in the hall compared to the sunlit front yard to make out anything else.

'So what?' snarled Mr Dursley, drawing Sirius' attention away from the boy in the shadows. 'That doesn't give you a right to see him, does it? Now get lost, and take that ruddy machine with you!' He made to slam the door in Sirius' face but he was not quick enough.

Sirius had stepped forward and in the same second, the child had, too. Sirius froze, his left foot and hand still blocking the door. Now that the boy was no longer standing in his uncle's shadow, Sirius could finally see his face. He looked incredibly like James. His hair was standing up in all directions, he had a face shaped just like Prongs' when he had been little, the same mouth. Nevertheless, there were some of Lily's features, too. Harry stared up at him with her eyes.

It took Sirius a few moments to find his voice. Then he stepped past Vernon Dursley and knelt down – trying to ignore the fact that the muggle was now looming above him – so that Harry's and his face were level. He held out a hand and after clearing his throat said, 'Hello. I'm Sirius.'

The boy shook it tentatively. 'I'm Harry.'

Sirius was not sure what to say next. Had he not been over this in his head? He had imagined the conversation they might have, yet nothing came to mind now. 'I… I know. You… you look just like your dad.' It was probably not a particularly helpful or original thing to say, but Harry's eyes lit up nonetheless.

'You knew my dad?' he asked eagerly.

Sirius nodded, letting out a relieved breath. 'Yes, he was my best friend.'

'Was he nice?'

'Now listen here!' interrupted Mr Dursley before Sirius could answer that, yes, of course Prongs had been very nice indeed. He had closed the door as soon as Sirius had stepped out of the way. 'I don't know what you could possibly want with him but so long as you're in _my_ house…'

Sirius erected himself to his full height again, trying to think of what to do. Somehow, he could understand the other man's reaction. He was a stranger, after all, and it was only natural for an uncle to be protective of his nephew. Still, Sirius still felt he had every right to talk to his godson. He was not going to do him any harm or take him away or anything. He only wanted to get to know him…

'I want to talk to him.' He looked back to Harry. 'Only if you want to talk to me, that is.'

Harry determinedly avoided his uncle's gaze as he nodded.

Sirius' heart lifted a little and he grinned at the boy. 'Great! We…'

'You will not!' shouted Mr Dursley, spewing a few drops of spit at Sirius.

'Try to stop me!' Sirius gave back, and instantly regretted the outburst. 'I'm sorry,' he amended, taking a step back. 'I… Look, I can see you don't trust me with him. I understand. Maybe… Maybe I could have just a few minutes with him? Harry could show me his room and we could have a little chat and then I'll be on my way again…'

Somehow, this suggestion did nothing to appease Mr Dursley. Suddenly, he seemed distraught. 'No! No, I won't have you in the house! Petunia and Dudley will be back soon and…'

'I could take Harry for a walk?' Sirius proposed. 'I'd drop him back here…'

Vernon Dursley considered this, clearly struggling to keep on top of what was going on. Then… 'Fine. Take him then.' He yanked open the door again, almost hitting Sirius.

Sirius looked to Harry who had been watching the exchange in stunned silence. Sirius knelt down again. 'Would you like to go get some ice-cream, Harry? You'd tell me where to get it though – I've never been here before…' He had driven past a park on his way here – it could be no more than a few minutes on foot away. 'We could walk to the park and talk about your parents for a bit. Only if you want to, of course.'

Harry stared at him with those green eyes that made Sirius' stomach churn. He looked so much like Lily. Then, he nodded wildly. 'Yes, of course I want to.'

Sirius grinned and he stepped out onto the front yard. 'Alright. Let's go then.'

Harry shot his uncle a calculating glance and then hurried past him, catching up with Sirius. Behind him, the door slammed. Sirius flinched but Harry barely even noticed. He had spotted the motorbike and now only had eyes for that. 'Is that yours?' he asked in awe.

'Yes.'

'Wow.' He walked around it, taking in every angle of the shiny black metal. 'Are we going to go on it?' he asked eagerly.

'No, not today.'

Harry did not answer but cocked his head, watching Sirius' face. Sirius smiled at him nervously, not sure what Harry was expecting or what he had heard in his words.

Together, they started to walk down the road, towards the park.

'So, do you know a good place to have ice-cream?' asked Sirius, breaching a safe topic of conversation.

'There is a café near the playground,' said Harry. 'Aunt Petunia and Dudley have ice-cream there sometimes.'

Sirius frowned a little at this sentence. Why would Harry say that instead of "We have ice-cream there sometimes"? He decided not to pry, however. 'Dudley's your cousin, is he?' he asked instead.

Harry nodded.

'Is he older or younger than you?'

'A month older. He's a lot bigger and stronger than me but he's not as clever.'

Sirius chuckled. It was easy to believe that Lily and James' son would outshine the offspring of the walrus he had just met in terms of intellectual abilities. 'I'm sure,' he said. 'Do you go to school?'

'Yes, I'm in year four now. We…' Harry broke off and Sirius looked over to see why.

He followed Harry's gaze and spotted a group of boys Harry's age by the set of swings on the playground that they were walking past. Was he embarrassed to be seen with someone looking like him? 'Mates of yours?' he asked lightly.

Harry ducked his head at the question, giving off a rather guilty look. 'Dudley's friends,' he muttered just loud enough for Sirius to hear.

'Do you want to go and say hi? I'm in no hurry.'

'No,' said Harry quickly, shaking his head determinedly. He held his head high but Sirius knew James' face well enough to see past Harry's façade. He was scared though of what exactly he could not tell. Surely, if the boys were friends with Dudley, they would also be on civil terms with Harry, right? They did live in the same house after all. Then again, some of Regulus' school friends had tried to kill Sirius so that was not a foolproof line of reasoning.

They passed unnoticed by the kids and found a place at the last empty table in front of the café. The park was crowded on the sunny day in mid-September, maybe one of the last warm days of the year. Sirius opened the menu and laid it on the table so that they could both read it.

'What are you going to have?' he asked Harry who had relaxed again. This seemed like another safe question to him. He had not dared say much up until now. He was afraid to scare Harry even though he seemed quite brave. He would be, of course, with parents like his.

He was still amazed by how much Harry looked like James. There was of course the scar on Harry's forehead that he had heard a lot about. He was a little startled by the clothes Harry was wearing that seemed to be rather threadbare and far too wide for him. Sirius wondered whether this might be a fashion choice but wasn't eight a little too young for that? Still, what did he know about muggle kids and fashion?

'I don't have any money,' Harry let him know.

'You're invited,' Sirius told him. Had he not made that clear? Had that not been obvious?

Harry nodded earnestly and returned his gaze to the menu. 'What am I allowed to have?' he asked

Sirius was puzzled by this question, too. 'Anything. What would you like?'

'Am I allowed that one?' His finger was pointing at a picture of a sundae.

'Sure, whichever one you like best.'

Harry nodded. 'That one then, please,' he told Sirius, his voice petering off into silence. It was almost as if he was expecting Sirius to change his mind.

The waitress came to their table and Sirius ordered two chocolate sundaes. When she had left, Harry said in a small voice, 'Sirius?' He pronounced the name very carefully, making Sirius smile.

'Yes?'

'May I see that picture you showed Uncle Vernon, please?' He cringed a little as he asked, as if afraid of the answer. Sirius immediately jumped at the question, however.

'Yes, of course.' Why had he not thought of this before? He rummaged in his pockets and pulled out the photograph. Harry stared at it.

'Are they my parents?' he asked.

'Yes.' Sirius was once more confused by a question. 'Don't you know what they look like?'

Harry shook his head, cowering a little, expecting to be told off. 'I'm sorry. I can't remember them. I was too small when they died.'

Sirius felt a stab of grief at those words. Even though their death was very present in his mind, especially with Harry sitting in front of him, to hear him say the words was something else entirely.

'I know,' he said as gently as he could. 'But don't you have any pictures of them?'

Harry shook his head again. 'No.'

Sirius did not quite know what to say to that. He could not tell Harry how much this upset him. The thought of Prongs' son not even knowing what he looked like gave him another sharp jab of pain. 'Well,' he said finally, trying to sound as cool as possible. 'You do now. You can keep that one.' It was the only one he owned, the one that had been in his wallet when he had been arrested. It meant a lot to him but Harry deserved it more than he did.

Harry looked up from the picture with glowing eyes. 'Really?'

'Yes, really.'

'Thank you.' Harry stared at the photograph as though it was the greatest treasure he could imagine and every sorrow Sirius had felt at the thought of parting with it instantly disappeared. 'Mum doesn't much look like Aunt Petunia,' he said finally.

'Doesn't she? I've never met your aunt,' said Sirius truthfully. He did however remember the look Lily's face when she had received a letter from her sister that had told her that she would not be coming to her wedding. He had not often seen her that upset.

'No,' said Harry thoughtfully.

'Your mum was one of the nicest and kindest people I've ever met. And, she was the prettiest girl in the whole school,' Sirius remembered and smiled at the thought. How often had James said that sentence? Sirius had not agreed at first but he had learned to see her through Prongs' eyes. There was… had been something about her, something special that made her beautiful in a more solid way than anyone else. 'A lot of boys were in love with her. She was very clever as well.'

Harry kept staring at the picture.

'And your dad was the best mate you could ever imagine. We used to pull pranks on the caretaker and get detention every other week. We would sneak out of the dormitories at night and tiptoe through the castle.'

The waitress came back and set two bowls on the table.

Harry took one more careful look at the picture and then put it in his pocket.

'Which castle?' he asked as he scooped the first spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

'Hogwarts of course.'

'Hogwarts?'

'Yes, of course, Hogwarts.' Sirius smiled but the look on Harry's face was serious. 'You do know Hogwarts, don't you?'

Harry shook his head, looking properly scared now. 'Sorry,' he squeaked.

Sirius smiled at him reassuringly and tried to have his voice sound as calm as possible. 'Well, it's the best school for magic there is. You are going to go there when you turn eleven, just as your parents did.'

Harry stared at him. 'School for what?'

'Magic. Witchcraft and Wizardry.'

The look on Harry's face was apprehensive now. 'Are you pulling my leg?' he asked.

Sirius stared back. If Harry was having him on, he was doing a very good job – but it did not seem like it. This could not be true, though. Had they really not told him? Had those damn muggles never even mentioned it to him? He swallowed all the curses that were quivering on the tip of his tongue and instead said, 'No. You're a wizard, Harry.'

Harry was still staring at him and finally, very sternly said, 'I don't believe in magic anymore. I'm eight.'

Sirius could not help but grin at this even though the thought of Harry not knowing about Hogwarts still felt like a blow to his head. 'I can prove it to you.' He had to think for a second. Doing magic amongst so many muggles was risky. Then he had an idea. 'Would you mind giving me the picture for a moment? Don't worry – I'll give it back to you right away.'

Harry hesitantly took out the photograph and handed it over. Sirius tapped it with his wand under the table and gave it back. It was now moving again. Harry stared at it even more amazed than he had done before. 'But,' he said finally, 'how do you know that _I'm_ a wizard?'

'Because your parents were. Magic parents have magic children.' That was a little oversimplified but it should do for now. He knew that Harry was a wizard because he had seen him summon a cuddly toy towards himself when he had been only a few months old.

Harry did not look convinced.

'Think about it,' said Sirius. 'You must have made something happen. Something you could not explain.'

Harry was silent for a few moments but then a grin crept onto his face. Sirius joined in. 'What does that mean? What does magic really do?'

'Lots of different things. There's not really that much you can do until you go to school and learn to control it. Then there's Transfiguration, for example, turning things into other things, and Potions, learning how to brew all sort of stuff. Witches and wizards can fly on broomsticks.'

'Really? Like in the fairy tales?'

'A little.' Sirius knew what stories Harry was talking about. He had taken muggle studies, if only to annoy his parents. 'Not all of it is true, though. Not all witches have warts and not all wizards have long beards, only some.'

'And… A few months ago, one of my teachers was shouting at me and then his wig turned blue. Was that magic, too?'

'Probably. Magical children can sometimes make things happen unintentionally, mostly when they are upset. It's called accidental magic and it stops happening once you've been properly trained.'

Harry took in that piece of information thoughtfully.

'It's a secret, though. Muggles – that is, non-magic people – aren't supposed to know that wizards and witches are real. That's also why I can't show you any more magic while we're here. Someone might notice and then I'd be in trouble.'

Harry kept pondering this but picked up his spoon again to eat some more ice cream.

Sirius waited for more questions about magic but when none came, he changed the subject. 'So, what did you do for your last birthday?' He could finally remember the questions he had thought of on the way. He had decided that this one was suitable of an eight-year-old whose birthday had been a few weeks earlier.

Harry just shrugged. 'Nothing, really.'

'You must have had a party?'

Harry shook his head. 'No, nobody would come. They're all too scared of Dudley – and Aunt Petunia won't allow that I have one, anyway.'

'How about presents then?' asked Sirius. He was determined to find a positive talking point.

'I got Dudley's trainers,' replied Harry and pointed to his feet. He was wearing shoes that looked as though they might fall apart at the next step.

'And what else?' Sirius kept asking. This had to be one of those times when a child would distort the truth in some way. They did that, right? Tell fibs just for the fun of it or to get attention.

'Nothing. But these shoes are a lot better than my old ones.' He ate another spoonful of his sundae.

Sirius noticed that he was staring at his godson with his mouth open. He could not decide which he disliked more – Harry outright lying to him or his godson being treated as badly as he made out. Neither were cause for celebration but he found himself hoping that Harry was just a little boy prone to fibbing.

'Harry, is that really true?' he asked, trying to keep his voice calm. 'Everything you have told me? I would get mad if it wasn't, I'd just like to know the truth.'

'I don't lie,' said Harry. 'Uncle Vernon says I do but I don't.'

Sirius nodded, struggling to keep his face blank. He would be dangling Albus Dumbledore from the Astronomy Tower for this! How dare he put Harry in this family?

Then again, maybe money was just tight for them. It made sense that Harry wore clothes that his cousin had grown out of if he was indeed that much bigger. Maybe they did everything to avoid having to admit that they were broke. Their house did not look it but appearances could deceive. Sirius did not know enough about the muggle world to judge whether the car in front of the house was expensive – it was clean, that was all he could say for sure. The same went for Vernon Dursley's clothes. He looked a lot better groomed than his nephew but he would not be growing out of the things he wore. Still, it was rather odd.

'Tell you what,' he said. 'When we're done here we're going to a toyshop and I'm gonna buy you a proper birthday present.'

'You are?' Harry looked up from his food.

'Yes.'

So, when they had both finished their ice creams, Sirius paid and Harry led the way to his favourite toyshop. It was loud and colourful, filled with plastic dolls and screaming children. He looked around, at a complete loss as to what Harry would enjoy.

'What kind of thing would you like?' he asked therefore.

'A car maybe?' asked Harry tentatively and pointed to a shelf filled with little models.

'Sure. Shall we pick one?' They walked over and looked through the rows of different cars.

Harry ended up picking a little black motorcycle. Sirius could not help but smile – his motor seemed to have made an impression.

On their way back to Privet Drive they came across the little gang of boys Harry had been trying to avoid in the park. Sirius had been walking a few steps behind Harry who was leading the way and had to have made the impression of being out and about on his own.

The boys had spotted him and started pulling faces. 'Oi, Potty!' one of them sneered loudly while they came closer. Harry took an involuntary step back, just into Sirius who laid a hand on his shoulder. So much for civil terms, he thought.

Sirius' height alone was enough to have them stop in their tracks and his expression seemed to do the rest. Harry had flinched at his touch but Sirius did not draw back. 'Harry is under my personal protection,' he said to the boys now staring up at him with big eyes. Children – mean children but just children. 'If you hurt him, I will hurt you. Understood?' He resisted the urge to pick them up by the scruff of their necks and shake them. They already looked as though they were about to wet themselves. 'Now scarper.'

They took off at a run and Sirius sank down on one knee to look at Harry. 'You alright?' he asked.

Harry took a deep breath and nodded. 'I'm fine,' he said. Something other than fear or relief shone in his eyes.

'They're cowards,' said Sirius. 'Five against one, I ask you.' He successfully dismissed the twinge of guilt he felt at his own words, remembering his time at school. Snivellus had gotten what he deserved…

'They're still stronger than me,' muttered Harry.

'Not for long. Wait until you have gone to Hogwarts. You'll be able to turn them into toads in a few years.'

The walked the rest of the way back to Privet Drive in near silence. Harry was deep in thought. He only snapped himself out of it when Sirius swung one leg over his motorcycle. The look of awe was back.

'Are you coming to visit me again?' asked Harry.

'If you want me to.'

'I do.'

Sirius grinned broadly at those words. 'How about I come back next Saturday? Maybe if I get here early we can go for a daytrip? You choose wherever you want to go.'

Harry nodded eagerly. 'Wherever I want to go?' he asked.

'Yeah.' Sirius hesitated. 'Well, maybe we should stay in England – but yes, wherever you want to go.'

He kicked the starter and the bike began to roar. He winked at Harry one last time and drove off down the road. In the mirror, he could see Harry waving.

-oOo-

 _So, that's it for today. I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing. If you've got anything to say, please do leave a review. I'd be very glad to get some feedback._

 _DFTBA!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Here we go, chapter two :-) Have fun!_

-oOo-

It was hard to wait a whole week before returning to Privet Drive. He tried his best to keep himself busy. He went to see Dumbledore that evening but no effect. Dumbledore listened to everything he had to say and remained convinced that Harry should stay with his aunt and uncle.

He bought a house outside a village called Chestnut Hill, near Sevenoaks in Kent, a mere half hour on his bike from Little Whinging. The house had been derelict for more than a year and even before that it had not been in good shape, but it stood alone in the countryside with the nearest neighbours a ten-minute walk away along a mostly deserted road. He could land his bike directly outside the front door and magic would go unnoticed. It was rather too large for him with three bedrooms but now that both of his parents were dead, he had than enough money to buy a dozen houses like this and not make a dent in his savings.

He had looked at the one house on Sunday, decided that it would do and bought it. On Monday, he moved everything he owned – himself and his motorbike – in. Also on Monday, he bought an owl and sent a letter to Remus, with his new address scribbled underneath it.

 _Moony,_

 _Come see me if you want._

That was it; seven words. There really was nothing else to say until he knew how he and Moony felt about each other these days.

He found out on Tuesday morning when there was a tentative knock on his door. He had been tearing up mouldy floorboards with the aid of magic, suddenly very glad that Prongs had enlisted him to help when he had renovated the cottage in Godric's Hollow for himself and Lily. He had not thought at the time that these skills would come in useful again one day.

Remus looked old, a lot older than Sirius had thought he would. His hair was starting to grey and he seemed very tired, his eyes guarded. Sirius recognised the cloak he wore, which meant that he had not been able to afford a new wardrobe in years. Life had obviously not treated him well.

All the anger that Sirius had been feeling towards him evaporated instantly. He simply could not retain it now that he saw him. When he had imagined what it would be like to see him again, he had sometimes toyed with the idea of shouting at him. Now, though, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Without a word of greeting, they fell into each other's arms. Sirius felt himself beginning to sob and the only word he could gurgle out by means of an explanation was, 'Prongs.'

'I know,' replied Remus. He, too, sounded choked.

When they both regained composure, they stepped back and looked at each other awkwardly.

'I've got firewhiskey,' said Sirius finally.

Remus nodded.

Sirius summoned the bottle he had bought the previous day and led Remus through the house so that they could sit on the steps that connected the sitting room to the back garden. He did not have any glasses but back in their dormitory at Hogwarts, they had never had any, either.

Sirius handed the bottle to Remus who gratefully took a generous first swig. When Sirius copied him, he coughed violently, the alcohol burning his throat. 'Azkaban takes you out of practice,' he noted bitterly.

Ten years ago, he would have been teased mercilessly for this performance. Now, Moony let it pass uncommented. They sat in uncomfortable silence and when Sirius finally worked up the guts to speak, Remus had done the same.

'Listen…'

'Sirius…'

They both lapsed back into silence and chuckled nervously.

'Ladies first,' said Sirius, gesticulating for Remus to speak.

Remus smiled weakly. 'Sirius, I'm… I'm deeply sorry. Can you forgive me?'

He did not need to specify. There had been many days when he had cursed Remus for abandoning him in Azkaban, for believing so readily that he could have betrayed Prongs and Lily, betrayed Harry. On the other hand… 'If you can forgive me, old friend. I distrusted you first. I'm sorry.'

Remus put a hand on his shoulder. 'I have already forgotten, Padfoot.'

Sirius nodded. 'Then so have I.'

They were even, and they had better be. Prongs and the rat were gone, making Moony the only person left of his family from school days.

They sank into another silence, this one less awkward. Moony was the one to break it after a few minutes. 'When did they let you out?'

'Friday afternoon, after the trial – I guess you read about it, huh? I saw the front page of the Daily Prophet yesterday. It was full of it.'

Moony nodded. 'I was surprised they didn't want me to testify in favour of Peter. I suppose they thought associating with a werewolf would not further his cause.'

'Bloody bastards,' Sirius grunted his agreement. 'That kid testified, the Weasley boy, his father, old Minnie and Dumbledore. Then it was just Peter and me, his word against mine. The vote wasn't unanimous but I got about two thirds. I guess most who voted in favour of Peter just didn't want to acknowledge that they'd been wrong about me. I mean, honestly, what reason would he have had for going into hiding if he'd been was innocent? That's a bit of a tough sale.'

Moony chuckled humourlessly and raised the bottle as if for a toast. 'To our justice system!' he declared.

Sirius snorted. _Justice_ was a very wrong word in that context. He was going to receive compensation. Quite a tidy sum, he had been assured. It was a farce – money for seven years of his life, seven years he could have spent in freedom, seven years he could have looked after Harry. Gold made no difference to him – he had inherited more than enough money to never have to work again – and even if it did, it would not bring back the time.

'So how exactly was he found out?' asked Moony, changing the subject and drawing Sirius out of his increasingly bitter thoughts. 'The papers didn't specify.'

'The kid… Percy… He found him near their house some time in November of eighty-one. Apparently, he eventually got curious as to why a rat would live that long. He's twelve now, second year at Hogwarts, and he started reading up in the library. He came up with a few things and asked McGonagall to check if his pet might be an animagus. He said expected McGonagall to laugh, which she did at first, apparently, but she checked anyway. He tried to make a run for it but was no match for her, of course. She took him to Dumbledore who questioned him and then they gave him to the aurors. That was two weeks ago, Wednesday, I think. The same day, Dumbledore came to visit me in Azkaban. They took me to a holding cell in the Department for Magical Law Enforcement to wait for the trial.'

Moony nodded again. 'Clever kid. Did you thank him?'

Sirius laughed loudly. Moony was worrying about his manners, that was a welcome reminder of the past. 'Yeah, after the trial… I told them that I'd invite the whole family to dinner during the Christmas Holidays. He's Gideon and Fabian's nephew, their sister's kid – she's got at least another half dozen. Maybe I can find a way to thank them properly.'

'Sounds good.'

They paused again, each taking another gulp of the whiskey.

'I went to see Harry,' said Sirius into the silence. 'On Saturday.'

'And?' Moony looked at him expectantly.

'He looks like Prongs, Moony, so much like Prongs. He's still got Lily's eyes. He lives with Lily's sister and her family. There's a cousin, Dudley, but I don't think they get along too well. Their house isn't far from here, that's why I bought this place.'

'Is he doing okay?'

Sirius shrugged. 'I'm not sure. He's a good kid. He loved my bike, we had ice cream, and we talked a bit. He didn't know anything about Lily and Prongs. I gave him a picture and he said he'd never seen one before. He didn't know about magic or Hogwarts. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things. Dumbledore says it's fine. Harry's probably best off with them. But I can't shake the feeling that something's off.'

Moony watched him silently and was about to ask another question but Sirius cut across him. 'How about you? I hate to tell you, but you look awful, Moony.'

Moony laughed. 'You can talk – you don't look you best, either, Padfoot,' he said. 'But seriously, you know how it is. No job, no money.'

They spent the afternoon talking but mostly drinking. At some point, Sirius had suggested that Moony move in with him, at least for now, and he had agreed. Sirius knew that this probably meant that he had nowhere else to go but he did not pry. Moony would tell him if he wanted to.

They spent the next few days working on the house. They put in new floorboard and painted the walls. They bought furniture and everything else that was needed. Sirius was very glad for Moony's presence – after years of isolation, it was a blessing to have a friendly face around. Despite their long separation, they still got along without any problems. Moony was easy company, had always been.

Even though they were busy, the days dragged on until finally, it was Saturday morning. Moony wished him good luck as he climbed on his motorbike and soared off into the sky. He had attached a sidecar to it so he could take Harry along safely.

He landed outside Little Winging and drove the last bit. When he turned into Privet Drive, Harry was already waiting for him, standing outside Number 4 and literally jumping up and down with excitement.

'What's up?' said Sirius and held up a hand for Harry to high five, which he promptly did.

Harry grinned at him broadly. 'Uncle Vernon said you wouldn't come back but I knew you would.'

'Of course I came back. I said so, didn't I? So, where're we going today?'

Harry stopped fidgeting at those words, instantly deflated. 'I can't decide,' he admitted, looking pensive now, 'I've been thinking about it all week.'

'Okay. So, what are the choices then?'

'Well, Dudley went to Thorpe Park for his last birthday.'

'What's Thorpe Park?' asked Sirius.

'It's a theme park – with loads of rides and stuff, rollercoasters.' Harry explained.

'Ah, okay, that sounds good. Yes, we can do that. Any other ideas?'

Harry hesitated. Sirius was not sure why this would be. Had he done anything wrong?

'Just tell me,' he said. 'Worst thing that could happen is that we can't do it and go to Thorpe Park instead.'

Harry still did not say anything.

'I won't get cross and I won't laugh, either. I said you could pick and I mean that.'

Finally, Harry opened his mouth. He was speaking very quietly. 'I would kind of like to… to go and… go and… see Mum and Dad,' he mumbled.

Sirius stared at him, unsure whether he had heard correctly. 'Mum and Dad?' he repeated back to Harry. Magic or not, last week it had seemed that Harry understood very well that his parents were dead.

Harry was looking determinedly at the ground, nodding. 'Where… Where they're now,' he said in a whisper.

Sirius was not quite sure what he should say to that. He had not been to their grave. He knew that it was in Godric's Hollow. Moony had told him about the funeral but Sirius had not been sure whether he would be able to bear seeing it just yet. 'We can do that, too, if you'd like,' he said nevertheless. Maybe it would actually help to have Harry with him, as a reminder of the traces they had left.

'I just can't decide. Because Dudley said Thorpe Park is a lot of fun but I just don't know which one I want more.' He was visibly unhappy with his dilemma.

'You do know that we can just do the one you don't choose next week, right?' said Sirius.

Harry's eyes lit up at those words. 'You'll come back next week?' he asked eagerly.

Sirius did his best to smile. 'I'll come back every week,' he promised. 'We can go on a day trip every weekend from now on if you want.'

'We can? Really?' His eyes were now gleaming with excitement again.

'Yes, really. So, which one will it be today?'

Harry thought about it for a few moments. 'Mum and Dad,' he decided finally.

'Okay,' Sirius said, determined to sound pleased even though his stomach dropped. He would stay true to his word. 'In you get then.' He pointed at the sidecar. Harry climbed in obediently.

'Are you afraid of heights?' asked Sirius.

Harry shook his head.

'Good – 'cause this is a flying motorbike.'

Harry gave him a sceptical look that Sirius could not help but smile at. He started the engine and off they went. At first, they drove along the streets the muggle way but as soon as they had left the city and the road was clear, Sirius pulled up into the air and they flew over England.

Harry seemed to enjoy the ride, giving Sirius a live commentary of everything he saw below. Sirius had to remind him several times not to lean out too far. However, when they landed on a country road outside Godric's Hollow, Harry had gotten very quiet and by the time they rolled into the village centre, he was not talking at all anymore.

Sirius knew where the graveyard was. He had walked past it from time to time with Lily and James. It felt different to come back here, especially since it looked just the same. He half expected to see James leave the pub across the square, beaming and joking about what Lily would say when they turned up completely pissed in the middle of the afternoon – but of course, he did not.

Just like he would never again turn up at Sirius' in the middle of the night because Lily had kicked him out once more; he would never again curse and swear that this time it was her who was in the wrong; and he would never again return home as soon as he woke up the next morning to grovel, on his knees if necessary, apologising for whatever he had done.

They had reached the kissing gate that marked the entrance to the graveyard. If Harry had not been with him, he would have turned back. He would go to the pub and drink until he forgot that James was not drinking with him – but of course, Harry was there.

'I don't know which row it is,' he said quietly. 'We'll have to look.'

So they walked up and down the rows of tombstones in silence until they finally found it. It was alright, Sirius thought, as graves went. Harry instantly dropped to the ground in front of it, staring at the names and the words that were engraved in the stone. _The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death_. Sirius did not understand what they meant and it hurt him to know that Lily would. She always knew things like this.

But Lily, wonderful, clever, beautiful Lily was gone – as was James. He had been his best friend, his brother – much more than his biological brother had ever been. They had been his family, and the wound was still fresh. Azkaban had not let it heal but preserved it, with each waking second making sure that Sirius never forgot that he would never see them again.

He had almost forgotten their faces while with the dementors. They could not make him forget completely, of course, since the last time he had seen them was the greatest source of sorrow within him. James' face had always been there, still and pale, maybe, but never forgotten.

Sirius' breathing was going fast and he tried to control the sobs. He could not break down, not with Harry sitting next to him. The child was still quiet, eerily so – but there he was, proof that Lily and James had lived, that they would never be forgotten.

He sank to his knees next to Harry. He grabbed his shoulder, both seeking comfort and trying to give it. Almost the second he did, Harry began to sob. Sirius was almost relieved to see the tears. They were to be expected, and their absence would be reason to worry a lot more.

Sirius wrecked his brains for words of comfort but even his most positive memories of Prongs and Lily would only stress the fact that Harry had never gotten to meet them. Still, he felt like he needed to say something. 'They loved you so much, Harry. They would be so proud of how grown up you are.' That was true.

Harry looked up at him and more tears rolled over his face. 'I want to have them back so badly,' he sobbed.

Sirius nodded his understanding. 'I know. So do I.' His tears began to fall freely as he spoke those words. He had spent weeks and months crying for them, shouting and screaming in his cell. This was different. This was not alone. This time, he felt a kinship to Harry, not the bitter loneliness he was so used to. This time, there was some light in all the darkness.

They sat on the ground, crying for a long while, Sirius still with one hand on Harry's shoulder. When he finally let go, both of them wiped their eyes and noses.

'They didn't die in a car crash, did they?' asked Harry as Sirius began to feel embarrassed of his tears. He was instantly distracted.

'Did you aunt and uncle tell you that?' As painful as this lie was, he had expected something like it. If they had not told Harry about the magical world, then how could they possibly explain his parents' death?

Harry nodded.

Sirius sighed. 'No, they did not die in a car crash. Somebody murdered them.' The truth was hard but it was better than a lie, and James and Lily's death should not be lied about. It had been brave and honourable. They had deserved more than a fib told by somebody who had never even understood it.

'Why?'

Sirius took a while to answer. The truth was that he did not know why. At least, not in the way Harry meant it. Why had two wonderful young parents died? And why had it had to be them, why not anybody else? 'Because there are some bad people in the world – and when good people stand in their way, very bad things happen.'

Harry pondered this for a while. 'Why did they not just get out of the way?'

Sirius took a moment to think of an answer once more. 'If everybody just lets them, the bad people can just do whatever they want and that would make the world a very sad place.'

Harry did not answer to this.

'They did the right thing, Harry,' Sirius tried to make his point again. 'They were kind and brave, and trying… trying to make the world a little better.'

For one moment, a look of fierce determination crossed Harry's little face but it almost instantly grew soft again, when he asked, 'Do you think that they can see us right now?'

Sirius had to smile a little. He would definitely like to believe it. 'What do you think?'

Harry smiled back. 'I think they can.'

Sirius squeezed his shoulder. Would they be happy to see them here? Or would Prongs be angry with him for talking to his son about things that were so very sad? Maybe they would have thought it kinder to Harry to pretend that the world was a better place than it really was – where horrible accidents happened but nobody was ever killed on purpose. And maybe Lily would have wanted Harry to be left alone at her sister's – safe and warm, maybe not quite honest, but in a child's world still.

He shook off those thoughts. 'I have something to show you,' he said and pulled a book out of his rucksack. He and Moony had spent the previous evening taking all the pictures they could find of Lily and James, making copies and sticking them in this book. Moony had provided all of them. He had always been the one to save things like this, neatly organised in books.

Sirius had had a box of pictures, back at his old flat, but that had gone along with everything else he had owned. Most of his possession had been sold and the things that did not find a buyer had been thrown away. Nobody had saved anything, not even Moony. Sirius could relate to how betrayed he had to have felt. Sirius would not want anything that had once belonged to the rat, either.

He handed it over to Harry who took it and whose eyes began to shine as he flicked through the pages.

'I can tell you about them, if you want me to,' offered Sirius. 'That one, for example.' He pointed at a picture that showed a soaked yet grinning thirteen-year-old James. He had fallen into the Black Lake after betting that he could fly over it standing on his broomstick. He had lost pathetically but it had made all of them laugh so hard that their stomachs hurt.

Harry nodded and Sirius started talking. He had to alter a few stories so that they were suitable for an eight-year-old to hear. He did not think that Lily would approve of him telling her son about the night that had started with them drinking a rather large amount of firewhiskey in their dormitory and had ended with James and him being chased starkers through the castle by Filch.

Moony had reminded him of quite a few incidents of a similar nature. He had a better memory. Those stories had had them crying with laughter but would not yet be shared with Harry. Nonetheless, he found more than enough to tell for his voice to be hoarse by the time they decided to have a break and go to the pub for some lunch. That was in the early afternoon.

They found a table in a quiet corner and Sirius ordered chips, burgers and lemonade for both of them.

'So, I didn't ask, how was your week?'

Harry shrugged. 'It was okay.'

Sirius could tell that there was something off in an instant. His bearing was exactly like James' and Sirius could look through Prongs in a heartbeat. 'What is it?' he asked.

Harry sighed and squirmed uncomfortably.

'You don't have to tell me but I would like to know,' Sirius told him.

Harry shook his head. 'You'll get cross,' he said in a small voice.

'I doubt that very much,' said Sirius truthfully. He could not imagine anything Harry could have done that would make him angry.

Harry put his hand into his pocket and tentatively pulled out the little toy motorcycle that Sirius had given him the week before. It looked thoroughly beat up. The paint had been scratched off in many places, one of the wheels had come loose and the handlebars were askew.

'Wow, what happened to that?' asked Sirius although he believed to know the answer to that question already. It involved Harry's cousin.

'Dudley took it and he broke it. He is stronger than me so I could not do anything about it.' He looked severely downcast. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be sorry. I wasn't your fault. But give it to me, I can fix it,' said Sirius and held out his hand for it. He tapped it with his wand under the table and when he handed it back to Harry, it was as nice and shiny as it had been when they had bought it. 'There you go.'

Harry did not say a word but balanced the little toy on the table in front of him. He still seemed rather depressed.

'What else is the matter?' asked Sirius.

Harry looked up at him and then reached into his pocket again. This time, his hand was full of shreds of paper when he pulled it out. 'Aunt Petunia said she washed it by accident – but I know she hasn't because I put it under my pillow. I know I did. But she said I must have left it in my pockets but I know I didn't.'

Sirius sighed and considered the paper in Harry's hand. It had been Sirius' only picture of Lily and James and that vile woman had destroyed it. Harry had been right – he was getting angry. Still, he kept it off his face. He would not show animosities in front of Harry. He would take care of that later. 'I can't fix that,' he said regretfully. 'But you have a whole book now, haven't you?'

Harry nodded sadly. 'Can you maybe take it with you and keep it safe? I don't want anything to happen to it.'

Sirius felt yet another surge of fury come over him. 'When I take you back tonight, I'll have a word with your aunt and uncle and I promise you that they'll not touch that book.'

Harry did not look convinced.

'Harry, look at me.' He did, his green eyes looking at him in a way that Lily never had. 'I swear that they won't do anything. Okay?'

Harry nodded. 'Okay.'

They resumed their lunch in a more relaxed mood.

'Do you have children?' asked Harry out of the blue.

'No, I don't.'

'Are you married?'

Sirius smiled at the thought. 'No, I'm not.' He got the feeling that Harry was thinking the same thing that he was thinking, that Harry and him would do well together – but he would not suggest it. There were good reasons against it and it would be even harder for Harry if he got his hopes up for nothing.

'Why did you never come and visit me before?'

Sirius sighed. He had of course expected that question but he still had not found a good answer. He chose his words carefully and looked Harry in the eye as he spoke. 'I was in prison. People thought that I did something very bad but they finally found out that it wasn't true and that's why they let me go.' He knew that he might have lost what little trust Harry had in him with these sentences. It would make him realise that he did not know him after all, that he was just a strange man who could have all sorts of bad intentions.

Nevertheless, he could not bring himself to lie. Firstly, he could not think of a valid reason why he would not turn up for seven years and then suddenly show this much interest, and secondly, if Harry ever found out that he had lied to him, he would probably not give him a second chance. Sirius would not blame him.

Harry looked at him with those big eyes that looked so much like Lily's and said, 'What did they think you had done?'

'They thought that I killed someone.' This was the truth. Maybe not all of it, but it was the part that Harry would be able to understand and put up with. What did a child know about friends betraying each other? Twelve muggles blown to pieces just to make an exit? No, he did not need to know that, not yet.

'But you didn't?'

Sirius shook his head. 'No, I didn't. I have never killed anybody.'

Harry considered him carefully. His eyes seemed to be able to look right at Sirius, right down to the truth. 'I believe you.'

Sirius swallowed hard and only managed to nod as an answer. He had not truly realised how important Harry's opinion of him was to him. He did not want to see hate on Prongs' face, in Lily's eyes.

-oOo-

 _And done ;-)_

 _Thanks for your lovely reviews – they made my day. I'm glad you're enjoying the story._

 _This won't be wolfstar, by the way - I apologise for any misunderstandings. I honestly considered it for a while but then I decided to stick to canon, and even though I quite like the pairing, I don't really think there's that much in the books to support it._

 _Do tell me what you think. :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi everyone :-)_

 _Here we go, chapter three:_

-oOo-

Harry fell asleep in the sidecar on the way home. It had been an emotional day for him. He was still dreaming when Sirius turned off the bike in front of Number 4.

Sirius found this to be a good opportunity to talk to his relatives and knocked on the door. This time, Mrs Dursley opened the door. Harry had been right – she bore next to no resemblance to her sister. Her hair was blond, her face bony and her teeth too big. Sirius supposed that she might have been able to look passable in different clothes and without the dirty look on her face.

'What do you want?' she snapped at him but Sirius remained unfazed by her tone. This was nothing compared to being shouted at by Lily.

He turned around and made sure that Harry was still sleeping. Then he pulled his wand. 'Harry told me what happened. When I come back next week and there is so much as a scratch on him or his things, you will regret it. Am I understood?' He let out just a bit of the ample fury in his chest but it was enough to get his point across.

She nodded, terrified, her angry stance dropping away instantly. Her husband appeared behind her in the doorway. Sirius smiled at him and said, 'I assume you heard what I said?'

Mr Dursley put on a sour face of extraordinary quality but Sirius would not be intimidated by a muggle.

'Excellent. Now, Harry's asleep and I don't want to wake him. He's had an exhausting day. Where's his room? I'll carry him in.'

Only silence answered him, followed by a little whimper of Mrs Dursley's.

'Well? It's not actually that difficult a question.'

Mr Dursley erected himself to his full height, which was just about the same as Sirius', even though he was probably at least twice as heavy. Still, without magical abilities the only thing that did was make him a bigger target. 'That's none of your concern. Just give us the boy and we'll take care of it.'

Sirius was watching them carefully, his suspicion high. There was something odd going on. Was it that they simply did not want him in the house? Or was there something else?

'The sooner you do as I ask, the sooner you'll get shot of me again,' he tried to reason.

'You will not enter my house,' bellowed Mr Dursley and Sirius thought he detected a hint of panic in his voice.

'You can try to stop me but I would advise you not to,' he said, once more lowering his polite façade. In the past, people had told him he was scary and he had always rather disliked the fact. It was probably one of the reasons why everyone had so readily believed that he was the traitor, a murderer, a Death Eater. Generally, he did not think of himself as a particularly threatening person but at the moment, it was coming in handy.

Mr Dursley made to answer but another whimper from his wife and her hand on his arm seemed to stop him. She was scared and he was too stupid or too angry to feel the same way – probably both. He did not budge, silently blocking the door.

Sirius was about to make his threat even plainer when he heard someone move behind his back. He turned to see that Harry had woken up and was shuffling towards them tentatively. Sirius noted that the photobook he had been clutching in his sleep seemed to have been left behind in the sidecar. He quickly slipped his wand back into his pocket.

'See, he's awake,' said Mr Dursley loudly, relief practically dripping from his voice. 'You don't need to carry him anywhere. Boy, get in here, now.'

Harry flinched and hurried forwards. Instinctively, Sirius grabbed his shoulder to stop him when Harry made to slip past. Something was wrong and he would not let Harry go back without sorting it out.

'Harry, I'm a little curious. Would you show me your room?' he asked, watching carefully. As he uttered the words, Mr Dursley's face became red again. Sirius looked to Harry who was shaking a little.

'I…' he stammered. His eyes were fixed on his uncle. 'I'm really tired so it's not that good right now,' he said.

Sirius looked up in time to see Mr Dursley nodding him on. He felt his anger well up inside himself and had to fight the urge to draw his wand again. He did not want a fight, not with Harry standing by.

'You forgot you book,' he said instead, talking to Harry and pretending he had not noticed the obvious lie.

Harry shook his head violently. 'I don't want it,' he said. 'You can keep it.'

'It was a present,' Sirius said. 'I can't take it back.'

Harry made to open his mouth but Mr Dursley cut across him. 'Why don't you knock when you're done?' he said loudly and proceeded to slam the door shut, Harry flinching at the loud noise. Then, there were hushed voices and hurried footsteps.

With them gone, Sirius sank down on one knee to talk to Harry. 'You are afraid,' he said, calmer now. 'Tell me what it is and I'll fix it for you.'

Harry shook his head, evidently fighting back tears. 'You'll make it worse,' he said. Inside the house, people ascended the stairs.

Sirius cringed. He knew that sentence, had once said it to James himself after his father had beaten him up. 'Harry, please, look at me,' he implored. Upstairs, a child was shouting, wailing. That had to be Dudley, and Sirius wondered what the hell was going on in there. He deliberated for a moment whether he needed to come to the rescue of Harry's cousin but then recognised the shouts as utterances of fury rather than pain or fear.

Harry raised his head.

'I can protect you,' he tried to reassure him. He could curse the Dursleys – then again, Harry had to stay with them. He was protected by Lily's blood as long as he did. Still, he found himself unable to stand by. The mere thought of letting Harry simply walk back into that house made him feel physically sick.

Harry shook his head. 'He's stronger than me.'

'But I'm stronger than him.'

'But you won't always be here.'

Sirius' chest ached at those words and he reached out, pulling Harry close. Harry remained still, like a limp doll in his arms. 'You should not have to be scared of a man like Vernon Dursley,' Sirius implored. 'He is nothing but angry and scared. Listen, Harry, I give you my word that he will never, ever hurt you again. Do you understand? I will protect you. That's what I swore to your Dad and I know that I haven't been able to do it so far, but I will now.'

Harry shook and slumped into him. Sirius tightened his hold around the child. He had never done this sort of thing before. Harry had been the only kid he had ever spent time with and he was not sure whether he was doing the right thing.

'What does he do to you?' asked Sirius. Harry stiffened at the question and Sirius cursed himself. That had been too demanding, he realised. 'It's okay, you don't have to tell me,' he added quickly.

Harry remained tense, despite the retraction. Sirius stayed quiet, too, only moving a hand up and down Harry's back, trying to get him to relax. It took several minutes until he did and by then, all the shouting inside the house had stopped.

Sirius lifted the boy, amazed at how light he was. Harry let him but made no attempt to hold himself up. When he had been little, his arms had always snaked around Sirius' neck the second he had been lifted. There was none of that now.

Sirius walked the few steps towards the curb where his bike was parked and picked up the book that Harry had left in the sidecar. He handed it to Harry who, after a moment of scepticism, grabbed hold of it and clutched it tightly to his chest.

Like that, Sirius carried him back to the front door and knocked once more. The door was opened almost instantly – as if someone had been waiting on the other side.

Vernon Dursley was pale but furious. Sirius waited for him to argue again but he did not. 'His room's upstairs,' he growled. 'Second door to the right.' He stepped aside and let Sirius enter.

Still at a loss at what the whole fuss about the room was about, Sirius crossed the threshold and immediately turned right to climb the stairs. Harry had hidden his face in his shoulder as soon as the door had been opened and he did not resurface until they stood in the bedroom.

It was not big but not too small to take offence at. The bed was made; the walls were bare, as was the desk under the window; the wooden wardrobe was closed, hiding whatever was inside, but the shelves were cluttered with what Sirius assumed were muggle toys, a rather large portion of which seemed broken. There was a decent collection of books, untidily stacked as if whoever had put them on the shelf had wanted them to take up as little space as possible.

Harry looked around curiously – yet another odd thing. Had his aunt and uncle rearranged his things? Had they hidden something? Was that the reason why he had not been allowed in earlier?

He set Harry down.

'How about you get ready for bed?' he suggested. 'I need to have a word with your cousin about that motorcycle of yours. Where's his room?'

Harry looked at him with big eyes but then pointed at a wall. 'Over there,' he said in a small voice.

Sirius winked at him in a feeble attempt to cheer him up and left, leaving the door ajar. Knowing Prongs, Harry would want to listen and he was going to make it easy for him. He wanted him to hear what he had to say to his cousin.

The next door was closed but he knocked and swiftly opened it. This room looked different. The walls were plastered with posters, the floor was covered in bricks and cars, and a – what had Lily called it? Vellytision? – stood in a corner. It was much more colourful than Harry's, and much more comfortable. Every worry he had had about Mr and Mrs Dursley mistreating their own son, too, vanished instantly, as did the theory that the family was short on money.

The boy was much taller than Harry, half a foot at least, and about twice as fat. Had he just seen the two, he would have guessed him a year or even two older than his cousin, something he knew not to be true. Their difference in age was hardly more than a month.

He had been sitting on the bed but jerked violently when he spotted Sirius at the door, the oblong slab of grey plastic he had been clutching slipping from his hands and landing on the floor with a thud. The high-pitched music it had been emitting ceased as it fell. Sirius had no idea what it was – maybe a radio of some sort. It had buttons, but also a small screen.

He did not close this door either and did not bother stepping closer. Behind him, he heard Harry's door scrape across the carpet, telling him that Harry was listening. He pretended not to have noticed. 'Dudley,' he said instead. 'That's right, isn't it?'

The boy stared at him, his eyes big. He did not seem scary, not like this. He was a kid, a big one, admittedly, but nothing to fear. He looked remarkably like his father and, Sirius thought spitefully, he would have made Peter look skinny.

The boy took a few seconds before showing signs of having heard him and then nodded, his chins wobbling. He, Sirius noted, was dressed neatly. His clothes seemed to be brand new, very much unlike Harry's. He would have to do something about that, too, but one thing at a time.

'I gave Harry a little motorcycle last week. He showed it to me and it was broken. Do you happen to know anything about that?'

The little eyes widened even further. He shook his head vigorously.

'Nothing at all?' enquired Sirius. 'Because I happened to notice that all of the things in Harry's room seem to be broken. Did you do that, too? Do you break all his things?'

'No, those aren't even h-', began Dudley but he broke off.

'Pardon?' he asked, but Dudley remained silent. Sirius frowned, wondering where that sentence had been going. 'Well, anyway,' he continued. 'I am giving you one warning. If I ever hear that you so much as touch anything of Harry's or Harry himself, I will come back to you, Dudley. I will hold you personally responsible.'

Dudley smirked now. 'You can't do anything to me,' he sneered.

Sirius smiled back. 'And why would that be?'

''Cause Daddy will beat you up.'

Sirius shook his head. 'No, he will not. Your Daddy does exactly as I tell him, and if you care to ask his opinion I am sure he will agree with me.'

Dudley's smile faltered somewhat. 'You're just bluffing,' he said.

Sirius grinned, putting on the face he had always used in the past when impersonating his father. James had used to describe it as "freaking eerie". He hoped that that would be enough. 'Are you willing to try me?'

Dudley stared for another few seconds and then jumped off the bed, darting past Sirius who stepped aside. He was running to his parents who would hopefully hammer the message home for him. At least his mother knew not to mess with wizards.

Sirius followed Dudley slowly to the top of the stairs where he sat down to wait for Harry to get changed. He could hear voices downstairs – they were too quiet to make out the words – and movement behind Harry's door. Sirius hoped that he would be reassured by what he had let him overhear.

It only took a minute or so for Harry to poke his head out into the hall. He was still pale. His pyjamas were too small for him, in contrast to the clothes Sirius had so far seen him wear. They made him look tiny, especially compared to the porky kid Sirius had just been talking to.

Sirius got up. 'Do you want me to come in for a bit?' he asked. 'Or shall we say goodbye?'

Harry considered him for a second and finally murmured, 'Stay.'

Harry sat down on the bed, obviously uncomfortable, and Sirius took a seat next to him.

'I don't think you need to be scared of Dudley anymore,' he decided to break the silence.

Harry nodded but avoided his gaze. They both remained silent for a while. 'Are you leaving?' asked Harry finally. Those were the first words he had spoken without prompting since they had gotten back.

Sirius nodded.

Harry bit his lip. 'Are… are you coming back?'

'Yes, if you want me to.'

Harry nodded thoughtfully.

'Last week, I said I'd come back and I did, didn't I?' asked Sirius, trying to appeal to his trust.

Harry nodded again. 'When are you coming back?'

Sirius watched him carefully. 'I… I was thinking that you could stay with me next weekend, if you want. I haven't quite finished work on my house but I should be done by then. Would you like that? You don't have to. If you like, I can just pick you up for the day on Saturday, like I did today. It's up to you.'

Harry bit his lip again. 'I… I don't think Uncle Vernon would take me anywhere.'

'He doesn't have to. I could pick you up.'

Harry nodded.

'When should I pick you up?'

Harry eyed him carefully. 'F-Friday after school?' he suggested tentatively.

Sirius laughed. 'Yes, sure. Shall I pick you up at school or here?'

'At school. We finish at three.'

'I'll be there,' promised Sirius. He knew where the school was, they had driven past it that morning and Harry had pointed it out. 'Now, I think you should sleep, shouldn't you? You have to be tired.'

Harry nodded reluctantly.

'Would you like me to sit with you until you've fallen asleep?' he asked. When James had been little, Euphemia had done that sometimes when he had been upset or ill. Sirius had been rather envious of that at the time.

Harry nodded again and he scrambled up to the top of his bed and slid under the covers. Sirius got up to turn off the lights before returning to his seat on the edge of the mattress. It was not quite dark. The curtains were too flimsy to keep out the yellowy shine of the lampposts. Harry's open eyes were visible as little specs of reflected light. They remained silent.

After a few minutes, there was a commotion downstairs, followed by stomping footsteps on the stairs. Harry flinched as the sound came closer and he grabbed Sirius' hand. Sirius, too, was bracing himself for what was going to come through the door but the footsteps passed and were followed by the crash of a slamming door. It seemed like it had only been Dudley on his way to bed.

The house fell silent again after that but Harry's hand kept clutching Sirius', and he held on to Harry's in turn as he drifted off into his thoughts.

Even though he had argued with Dumbledore, there had always been a part of Sirius that was quite happy that he did not actually have to take responsibility for a child. He knew that James and Lily had wanted Harry to live with him and he wanted to do everything he could to honour their wishes but nevertheless he had been relieved that he would not actually have to have his whole life revolve around Harry.

His twenty-second birthday had been two days after his arrival in Azkaban. His plans concerning his life after the war had not involved a child, at least not for a decade, if at all. When he had first hoped to be released, he had planned to make up for some of the things he had missed. So far, he had not even had the chance to figure out what they were. Harry had first priority. He had always wanted the best for him, of course, and knowing that he lived with his relatives had seemed like a good thing for Harry.

Sirius had assumed that he had a brother and friend in his cousin and an aunt and uncle who cared for him as if he really were their own child. Surely, this would be better for Harry than living with Sirius who did not know the first thing about children. He would not even be able to cook for him, not to mention being a responsible guardian and role model.

He was no longer able to think that. There was something going on in this house that made him very, very uneasy. It was only for Harry's continued presence that he was keeping his patience. Dumbledore had not known, he was sure of that, but that would change as soon as he could get his hands on an owl – or better still, march into Hogwarts directly.

Not only did they stomp on Prong's memory with their dirty feet, they treated his son in a way no child should be treated. Harry was scared of his uncle, for reasons that Sirius dreaded to think of. It was painfully obvious that his cousin was receiving preferential treatment – his clothes, his toys, his whole bearing made that clear. And just like his father, he was a bully.

No, this was not a good place for a child at all. Sirius looked around the bare room. He supposed that there was nothing obviously wrong with it but it was impersonal and uncomfortable. It was not a nice place to be at any rate.

Harry's eyes fluttered open every few seconds, apparently checking that Sirius was still there, and each time they did, Sirius gently squeezed Harry's hand, trying to reassure him. It seemed to work and Harry's eyes remained closed for longer and longer periods of time.

Sirius watched what little he could make out of his face in the dark. While he looked so much like Prongs, Sirius could now see much more to him than that. Last week, that was what he had been, "Prong's kid". But now… He was becoming Harry with every second, and Harry was surprisingly unlike Prongs, no doubt thanks to the bloody muggles.

Just looking at him made Sirius' heart ache in a way it had never done with his best friend. He actually _wanted_ to look after Harry, almost like a physical need to protect him. He had never experienced anything of the sort and had not expected it. This desire was independent of the thought that he was the only thing that remained of Prongs but both put together…

He would protect the child, first of all from his own relatives. He knew that he could scare them but in the end that would never make Harry welcome in this house. It would never be his home.

On the other hand, Dumbledore was sure – and Sirius agreed – that Voldemort would return one day and that he would not leave Harry alone when he did. A house like this, out of his reach, might then just be the key to saving Harry's life. Could he justify taking away that security?

Dumbledore had been adamant. Harry not being "the happiest he could be", as he had put it, was the lesser of two evils. Sirius was not so sure about that. Dumbledore had not seen those eyes – Lily's eyes – look so sad. He had even put aside the fact that Harry had never seen a picture of his parents. "Petunia lost a sister that day, Sirius," he had said, looking graver than Sirius would have expected. "Having pictures of her in her home might simply be too painful for her. I trust you, too, know what it means to lose a sibling?"

Yes, Sirius knew about that – but Lily and her sister had not been closer than him and Regulus. Lily and him had bonded over that, having siblings who despised their chosen way of life, associating with wizards and muggle-borns respectively. Some days, he felt guilty about not protecting Regulus but if his brother had left a child in his care… He would have made sure to pretend that it had had a good father, at least for the first few years. Whatever grudges he might carry, a child's welfare was more important, and Petunia should know that.

"And you think that if she can't bear to look at a picture of her sister, forcing her son on her is kind?' Sirius had asked back.

Dumbledore had sighed. "It is not but if the choice is between Harry's life and Petunia's feelings, I am afraid my mind is made up. I should have thought that we both simply have Harry's best interest at heart in this case."

It was exactly that which kept Sirius' anger at his former headmaster at bay. They both wanted the same thing and Sirius could not be sure that Dumbledore was wrong in his approach. What they were talking about had the potential to influence Harry's life or death. This was not a decision to be made lightly.

Still, the more time he spent with Harry, the more he found that he wanted to be with him. He wanted to play with him, wanted to read to him, even wanted to comfort him when he was sad. This was also new. He had always liked Harry but he had also always been equally happy to hand him back to his parents when he was crying, or smelly, or grumpy.

Harry's breathing had become deeper and more regular now. His eyes had been closed for a while now. Sirius remained perched on the mattress for another few minutes, not wanting to wake Harry as he left. He needed to talk to his aunt and uncle, and this was not a conversation he wanted the child to overhear. As quietly as he could, he got up, left the room, and even managed to close the door noiselessly with the aid of a little magic.

Mr and Mrs Dursley were in the kitchen when he came downstairs; neither of them said a word when he stepped into the room. Sirius swallowed his anger. They were as scared of him as was useful and now he needed to change tactics. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and grabbed what was left of his muggle money. There were several bills, three fifties, two twenties and three tenners. He held them out to Mrs Dursley.

'I want you to buy him clothes, _new_ clothes,' he told her. It was against his instincts to give that vile woman money but he wanted Harry to have proper things to wear and forcing her to use her own money would only make her angrier at Harry. 'Shoes, a school uniform and whatever else you can get. Ask him what he'd like. They're to fit him properly. Say they're from you. Understood?'

She stared at him and nodded.

'Good. I will pick him up from school on Friday and he will spend the weekend with me. I will bring him back on Sunday, sometime in the afternoon. If I so much as _suspect_ that you have threatened him, or touched him, or broken his belongings, you will be sorry. Do you understand?' He addressed this question to Mr Dursley whose face turned crimson. Still, he nodded after a glance at his wife. That man was dangerous, short-tempered. Sirius needed to keep him more scared than angry.

He drew his wand and pointed it at the kitchen table, transfiguring it into a pig and back again a few seconds later. 'I can do the same to you, and worse,' he told the mortified couple. 'But keep Harry happy and I will do nothing of the sort.'

He left the house swiftly after that without waiting for an answer and swung himself onto his motorbike on the now dark and deserted street. When he looked back at the house, he saw the curtains of Harry's room moving. So he had not been asleep for good after all. Sirius waved at the window just in case Harry was still watching before he took off into the night.

His head was buzzing. The cold wind made him both angrier and calmer. He was outraged at what was being done to Harry but he knew that he could not act rashly. He had learned that lesson.

-oOo-

 _Okay, so I hope Sirius is still in character. I'm always slightly annoyed with stories where Sirius – or even better Snape – barges in and from one day to the next becomes a perfect father._

 _I know that Rowling said in an interview (I can't recall the exact words) that in the books, Harry is looking for a father and Sirius is unable to fulfil that role. I hope it makes sense that for my story that's different._

 _I'm thinking since he's been in Azkaban for seven years, not twelve, he's still in a better mental condition, and since he was released and everyone knows he's innocent, he does not have as many things to worry about. In canon, by the time Harry and Sirius spent any significant amount of time together, Harry is fifteen and full on "Don't treat me like a child, I'm a grown up, I can take care of myself". So since he's a lot younger here, it would make sense for Sirius to realise that Harry is not James and that if he wants to help Harry, he needs to be a father, not a mate. Feel free to disagree, though._

 _Okay, end of the infinite author's note :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello everyone :-)_

 _Thank you very much for your reviews. I had two very detailed reviews by guests, so I'll have to reply here._

 _To the_ _ **first guest**_ _who left me a lovely, long review: I thought about where Sirius' things had ended up, even in the books. Sirius did not have them – he had nothing but the clothes he wore when he escaped Azkaban. It seems unlikely that Remus would have had them, at least to me, otherwise the mirror would have found its way to Harry sooner (I doubt Sirius would have kept it to himself during GoF if he had had access to it then). They might have been at the Ministry, and Kingsley might have "stolen" them to give them back – but it seems unlikely that Sirius would have had a letter from three months before his arrest on his person (a letter from Lily, by the way, not James) and since Sirius did not have a trial, I doubt that further evidence was collected, i.e. his flat was searched. My theory is that his personal belongings were at Grimmauld Place, that Sirius' parents took them after he was arrested. That's the best explanation I can think of. I don't know if there are other theories out there, or what the general opinion is on that, so I'm open to ideas.  
I did not mean to say that Sirius doesn't know he appears threatening. I meant that he does not like that people feel the need to be scared of him, for the exact same reasons you listed, that it is a trait running in his family.  
Thank you very much for your review._

 _To the_ _ **second guest**_ _who left me an even longer review: I think Sirius is willing to take Harry in but that he also sees the possibility that he might not be the best choice (that's what the long internal monologue in chapter three is all about, really). In the first chapter, he thinks that Harry is with a new family, one that would be better at providing a healthy environment to grow up in. By the third chapter, he is mainly worrying about security, which is a valid point even though that tends to be forgotten. Voldemort found James and Lily even when they used the Fidelius Charm (which is about the highest level of security there is), the Death Eaters got into Hogwarts to kill Dumbledore, they broke the protection around the Burrow at the wedding, and Grimmauld Place was compromised, too. In the books, it did not make much of a difference because Harry was almost off age by the time Voldemort became powerful enough to be a real threat but had everything happened a year or two earlier, having a safe house at Privet Drive would have been a real bonus. So, it's not so much that Sirius is not ready or not willing to take Harry but that he knows there are other factors to be considered.  
Even in the books, Molly accuses Sirius of seeing too much of James in Harry – as far as I can remember, she says, 'He's not James, Sirius' in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. That was what I was referring to, not Sirius' terrible last words in the movie. You say that in GoF, Sirius acts like a parent to Harry and I agree that he does but in OotP, he does the exact opposite, egging Harry on. Hermione picks up on that, saying something along the lines of 'Don't you think he might be trying to live through us?' (Quoting from memory, sorry). So the makers of the movie did not make that problem up, it does have a foundation in canon even if it is a lot less pronounced. In the end, it doesn't really have a big impact on my story, it was just an example of a problem Sirius would have had in canon but not in my ff. I can imagine it's a lot easier to become a parent to an eight-year-old than to a fifteen-year-old. _

_To everyone else and especially_ _ **jkwhedon1919**_ _: Thank you so much, for your feedback and for being so very kind and lovely. :-)_

-oOo-

He ended up not seeking out Dumbledore again. What news had he to tell? His suspicions had been confirmed, Harry was being mistreated, but that did nothing to refute Dumbledore's point. Living with Petunia Dursley provided Harry with a safe refuge. If Voldemort came back in a few years' time, would Harry thank him for robbing him of the only truly secure protection? Everything else could be broken – as Lily and James' death made so painfully clear.

It was a dilemma, and Sirius hated it with every fibre of his being but what was he to do? He could not simply walk in and whisk him away but he could not simply leave him to be abused, either. If Sirius continued to threaten the muggles, he hoped he could force them to treat them relatively decently but whatever he did, Harry would never be happy with them. The question was whether this was too high a price to pay for his safety or not. Sirius could not tell, could not even theorise until he knew exactly what was happening, and it did not seem as if Harry would tell him any time soon.

He arrived at his house, his head whizzing with all the unanswered questions. He told Moony all about the day and they continued to discuss all the implications into the early hours of Sunday morning when exhaustion finally caught up with Sirius and he fell asleep.

He woke up at noon to find that Moony had made lunch. Sirius forced himself to eat two helpings, as he always did these days. He was painfully skinny still and he resented that. He wanted to get back to looking the way he had before Azkaban even though he knew that there was little chance of achieving that. He had aged and that could not be undone – but he could regain his strength and get enough sleep. He had started on both frontiers the day he had been moved from Azkaban to the holding cell at the Ministry. He had shaved and cut his hair before the trial and had been forced to do so quite radically. His hair was short now, hardly an inch long, shorter than it had ever been, but there had been no way of untangling the matted mess on his head, certainly not without a wand.

Harry was being pushed out of his mind by the fact that it was a full moon. They spent the rest of the afternoon putting every security spell and enchantment they could think of on Moony's room. They reinforced the door, barred the windows and blacked them out, removed what little furniture there was and made sure to put up spells to soundproof the room.

Moony was nervous but grateful. He had suggested several times that Sirius did not actually have to stay with him but Sirius had told him flat out that he was being ridiculous. He had spent dozens of full moon nights with Moony, tonight would not be any more dangerous, and they knew that. Nonetheless, they both felt that the times of roaming around outside were over. The risks had not increased but their awareness of possible consequences had. Life in Azkaban was the best that could happen to Moony should something go wrong, not to mention what it would do to his conscience should he bite or kill somebody. So, locking themselves in it was.

Despite Moony's anxiousness, the night was positively boring. Sirius' presence was enough to calm the werewolf down, at least enough for him not to bite himself or try to rip out the floorboards. In the early hours of the morning, both of them curled up on the floor and dozed off.

Sirius was the first to wake, once more just before lunchtime. He yawned and stretched, still in his animagus form and took in the room. Moony had changed back and now lay curled up and naked on the bare wood. Sirius sighed and after turning back into a man, swiftly conjured a thick blanket to cover his friend with. The transformation was exhausting and Moony would be sleeping for most of the day.

He dragged himself into the shower and then to the kitchen. Now that the full moon was done with, his thoughts returned to Harry and without Moony present to cheer him up or distract him, he grew restless.

There was something fishy about those muggles – he knew that for a fact now. Dudley was obviously subject to preferential treatment but there was more to it than that. Harry was being bullied by his cousin and his aunt and uncle had, at least until two days ago, taken no steps to stop that. Harry was terrified of his uncle and the reaction he had shown when Sirius had tried to intervene made him assume the worst.

Sirius knew that he had scared Vernon Dursley but he was a man with a temper, one that might forget the possible consequences of his actions in a moment of anger. The more he thought about it, the more worried Sirius became for Harry's wellbeing.

He made lunch – steaks, boiled potatoes and steamed vegetables. Moony had prepared the steaks the day before. They just needed to be fried. The potatoes and vegetables needed to be chopped and cooked, no more than a little salt and pepper needed as seasoning. This more than exhausted Sirius' skills as a cook. The pot with the potatoes boiled over and the carrots were still a little hard when the broccoli was becoming mushy but to Sirius' relief it was all edible enough. Moony would not be picky, anyway. He would need food when he woke up, no matter what.

However, when Sirius sat down to eat, he could barely swallow a bite. He had a picture in his mind of Harry cowering in front of his uncle who had his hand raised to strike. He pushed his plate aside and paced up and down the kitchen, finally reaching the conclusion that he would not find peace until he checked.

With that resolution, he scribbled a hasty note to Moony, explaining where he was going and that he was simply going to wait and watch, that there was no need to worry. There was not, at least if Harry was fine. It was almost time for school to finish, so he would simply wait for Harry to leave the building. He would be in his animagus form that Harry did not know about yet. Nobody would suspect a thing even if there was a stray dog around.

That was what he did. He apparated to Little Whinging a few minutes to three and transformed into the big black dog. He loitered by the school gates, hidden between a few bushes. He watched Petunia walk towards the school just after he had arrived and a few minutes later, she re-emerged with Harry and Dudley.

Harry seemed completely fine and unharmed. There were no bruises on him, nothing funny in the way he walked or held himself, and he did not seem upset or scared. He was okay, Sirius told himself, breathing out in relief. He had been worried about nothing.

Dudley was grimacing, aiming kicks at little stones and twigs on the ground. Harry was bemused, watching his aunt carefully. She was looking harassed. 'I told you,' she snapped and Sirius' dog ears picked up on her shrill voice easily, despite the fact she was thirty yards away. 'We decided that you need new clothes. Now stop asking questions.'

Harry remained silent but Dudley began to wail. 'Why does he get something? I want new things, too. I want a new Gameboy – mine broke. And the new game, Piers has it and it's great.'

'I know, Diddykins,' said Petunia, her voice sweet and soothing now. 'And I'm going to get you one first thing, and _two_ new games, how does that sound? You can play while we pick out clothes for _him_ , what do you say?'

Dudley scowled again but nodded. Sirius gave an unheard growl at the tone in which Harry was spoken to and about.

Dudley and his mother continued to chat as they walked off along the road, Harry trailing a few steps behind them. Sirius followed at a safe distance, not wanting to be spotted. They were making their way to the town centre, all the while ignoring Harry. Sirius had to leave them in the end, knowing that he could not enter any store without attracting attention. He decided that this was going as well as could be expected and resolved to check in on Harry the next morning.

Moony was up and tucking into his food when Sirius returned. He seemed worried at first but when he saw that Sirius was in a good mood, his expression changed to a mixture of annoyance and amusement. 'Is this what happens when I'm not constantly there to keep you in check?' he asked.

Sirius shrugged and let himself drop into a chair. 'I got worried – and don't tell me there was no reason for that – but he's okay. Still, I'll go check again tomorrow. I don't trust those muggles.'

Moony sighed but dropped the matter. 'Thanks for lunch,' he said after a pause, a more serious tone in his voice. 'Eat yours.' He gestured to Sirius' almost untouched plate from earlier.

Sirius chuckled. 'You sound like Prongs' mum. What's next? Telling me to tuck in my shirt and go to bed on time?'

Moony smiled. 'Someone has to.'

Sirius shrugged, knowing that there was truth to his words. He drew his wand and reheated the contents of his plate. They ate in silence for a bit.

'Thank you, Sirius,' said Moony finally, 'for last night. I haven't had a transformation that… It's always been a lot harder since…' He did not finish the sentence but he did not need to. They both knew very well about the time when Moony had last had company for those nights.

Sirius shook his head. 'Don't thank me, Moony. You'd do the same for me.'

Moony nodded severely. 'Still,' he said quietly. 'I think I only really began to understand what I had in you and Prongs until after you were gone. Ten years with you… I think I'd gotten used to the fact that people can like a werewolf. Somehow, it seems like in the real world that doesn't happen too often.'

'It's their loss,' offered Sirius the one sentenced they had used to cheer up Moony time and again, whenever anti-werewolf articles appeared in the Daily Prophet or someone casually mentioned over breakfast that "they're just monsters" or "it's irresponsible, I'd kill myself rather than risk infecting others".

Moony smiled sadly. He, too, remembered. 'Somehow, that's easier to believe when you're thirteen. These days…'

'Remember what we used to say at school?' Sirius interrupted him. 'We'd get the bloody Ministry to change. We'd waltz in there and get rid of the prejudice and corruption, and one day, you'd be Minister for Magic, like you deserve.'

Moony nodded and even thought the corners of his mouth twitched upwards he did not quite manage to smile.

'And Prongs would still want me to do it, I know that,' insisted Sirius, determinedly sounding more cheerful about that than he actually felt. 'And Lily… can you imagine what she'd do to you if she saw you just now?'

This time, Moony laughed. 'She'd threaten to hex me if I didn't stop moping.'

Sirius nodded. 'So, we do it for them. Both of us. We'll do everything they didn't get a chance to do. We'll work hard and only stop when every last bloody pureblood supporter has been thrown out of the stinking Ministry with a good Blasting Hex up the backside. And before all that, we'll plant dung bombs in the Minister's office, Gringotts and the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts and go down in history as the two biggest pranksters the world has ever seen.'

Moony burst out laughing at the final words but the sound was soon swallowed by his tears.

'Together, Moony,' continued Sirius, fighting with a shaking voice himself now. He held up a hand, his elbow on the table as if wanting to arm-wrestle.

Moony mirrored his pose and grabbed his hand. 'Together,' he confirmed. This was like the vows that had made to each other at Hogwarts, back when there had been four of them. They had been naïve and young but Sirius had succeeded in evoking enough enthusiasm to recreate the feeling.

'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' they said together and grinned at each other through their tears. Sirius was filled in equal parts with youthful elation and grief. Prongs was missing – as was the rat, though he did not like to admit that to himself. Prongs would have liked this, would have made a speech ten times better than his, would have teased them about their bloody tears… But he was not there, would never be again, because a monster had taken him.

Still, Sirius had meant what he said. He would make Prongs and Lily count, would make them proud so that if they ever met again, he could look them in the eye. And the first step to that was Harry.

He continued to watch Harry on his way to and from school, all the while staying out of sight. This worked well until Wednesday afternoon. Petunia had picked up only Dudley. Gathering from what Sirius had overheard, they were visiting a friend of hers. Dudley did not seem thrilled by the prospect but let himself be dragged along with the promise of cake and an extra treat if he was good. Harry was instructed to go home and wait for his uncle to come back from work, who would then open the door for him.

Harry was walking slowly, no doubt wanting to shorten the amount of time he would have to spend sitting in front of a locked door, and Sirius followed him. He heard and smelled the boys before Harry noticed them. They cornered him easily, all four of them bigger than Harry. They were the same ones Sirius had scared off the day he had first met Harry.

'How are you, Potty?'

Harry backed against a row of hedges, pale and silent. Sirius took the chance to come closer unnoticed, running along the back of the hedge, out of sight of the kids.

'Stolen a uniform, Potty?' asked one of the boys, the tallest with short-cropped blonde hair. He stepped forwards with an arm outstretched. The other children laughed but before he could touch Harry, Sirius had pushed himself through the twigs next to Harry. Harry did not spot him at first, his eyes fixed on the bullies, but all of their attention was suddenly captivated by Sirius.

'What's that?' asked another boy. 'Trained a mutt, Potty?'

Sirius growled, showing his teeth and everyone except Harry who had nowhere to go unless he wanted to jump into the arms of his attackers took a step back.

'It's just as ugly as you, Potty,' sneered the first boy.

'Do you think it's rabid?' asked a boy with dark hair. Sirius growled in his direction. 'Look at those teeth. Maybe we should get out of here…'

The first boy hit him on the back of the head. 'Don't be such a wuss, Gordon.'

'Yeah, don't wet your pants, chicken!' said the last boy, the one with a face like a rat, although he, too, was eyeing Sirius cautiously. 'It's just a dog.'

Harry remained silent, motionless. He was obviously hoping that he would be forgotten about but no such luck. The first boy returned his attention to him, cracking his knuckles. 'So, freaky-potty, what will it be first? Piers, Gordon, hold him!'

The two of them made to move forwards but instantly halted when Sirius growled again. They exchanged a hesitant glance.

'We could do it tomorrow, Malcolm?' suggested Gordon.

Malcolm, the first boy, glared at him and shoved him aside none too gently. 'You're such a poof, Gordon. Run home to Mummy!'

Gordon remained where he was, relatively untouched by the insults, making Sirius conclude that this sort of argument was a regular occurrence.

Malcolm stepped towards Harry now, unfazed by Sirius' growl and his bared teeth. 'See, it won't do anything!' he declared, taking another step, his arm outstretched to grab Harry.

Sirius took that as a signal, leaping forwards. He snapped, deliberately missing the boy's hand by an inch or so. The Malcolm jumped back, tripping over his own feet, and landed in a puddle. All the other boys had taken off at a run, leaving their leader to fend for himself. He pushed himself up and ran after his friends, sending a trail of muddy water flying behind him.

Harry had been watching in silence, and when Sirius turned to face him, he, too, looked as if he was considering legging it. Sirius cowered and gave a high-pitched whimper. That was submission and everything he could do in this form to tell Harry that he did not have to be scared.

Harry seemed to understand and relaxed a little but was still eyeing him carefully. Sirius whimpered again and took a careful step forwards. Harry tensed but remained still and Sirius nudged his knees with his nose. Harry giggled and Sirius wagged his tail happily in response.

Harry petted his head that was about level with his own. Sitting down, Sirius' eyes would be higher than the child's.

'You almost bit Malcolm, Doggy. He was really scared of you.'

Sirius was not quite certain what he heard in his voice. He believed to make out relief and awe but also fear and what he thought was a trace of a bad conscience. Sirius shot his head forwards and let his teeth snap shut just next to Harry's hand, once, twice and finally a third time. The boy watched with interest.

'You didn't really want to bite him,' he concluded. 'It was just pretend?'

Sirius nudged his knee again.

'They haven't done that for a while now. Sirius said they mustn't do it and then Dudley told them that, too. Dudley is scared of me now.'

He was very lonely, Sirius realised upon hearing the words. He had nobody to talk to.

'I need to go home, Doggy, otherwise someone will tell Aunt Petunia that I wasn't waiting for Uncle Vernon like I should and then she'll be angry with me.'

He set off along the road again and Sirius followed on his heels. Harry seemed surprised at first but then quickly accepted his new companion. When he sat down on the step in front of the door, Sirius rested his head on Harry's feet. Harry giggled again.

'You are a nice doggy. Are you lost? I wish I could keep you but Aunt Petunia doesn't like dogs. She hates when Aunt Marge comes to visit with Ripper. He's a dog, too, but not a nice one. He chased me up a tree once…' He paused, pondering. 'Aunt Petunia doesn't like pets. I don't think she likes anything much, except Dudley and cleaning.'

Sirius laughed, something that he had been told always looked rather goofy when he was a dog. Harry seemed to think so, too, as he grinned at him.

'I think that Sirius would like you, though. Sirius likes a lot of things – motorbikes and ice cream and flying… I like those things, too. He likes Moony – that's his best friend – but I haven't met him yet. He didn't tell me but I know he doesn't like Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon or Dudley but I think he likes me. I'm not sure why. I know he liked Mum and Dad. He was really sad when we were at their grave.'

Sirius gave an involuntary whimper at the memory. This form was not good at hiding feelings, one of the disadvantages. Harry extended his hand and scratched Sirius' ears.

'He's really nice. Uncle Vernon said he'll lose interest in me eventually because I'm just a burden on everyone. I hope he doesn't. He promised that he wouldn't and he says that he does what he promises. He did come back last weekend when he said he would, and he made it so Dudley didn't break my motorbike again, and he made Aunt Petunia not take my book away.' Harry paused and when he began to speak again, he sounded more pensive.

'He said he'll come back every weekend if I want him to but I want him always to come back and that's a long time, isn't it, Doggy?'

Sirius licked Harry's hand to show affection. The child pulled a face. 'Ugh, that's slimy,' he said but promptly grinned. That was a definite advantage of being with kids – they did not tend to mind slimy, sticky, muddy or smelly, all of which Sirius regularly was in his dog form.

Harry continued to talk to the dog, mostly about school. Some of it, Sirius had heard before but he listened carefully. It was a rather one-sided conversation, obviously, but Harry seemed happy to be able to talk to someone, even if it was just a dog. It ended suddenly, when a car pulled into the driveway.

Harry became tense. 'You better go, Doggy. I don't think Uncle Vernon will like you.'

Sirius got to his feet. He was tempted to snarl at Vernon Dursley but there was no real point in making him angry. He licked Harry's hands again and nudged his knee to say goodbye. By then, the engine noise behind him had died. He backed away, making sure to give the car a wide berth.

'What have you dragged to our home now, boy?' asked Vernon, squinting at his nephew.

'Nothing. He followed me. He's leaving now, see?'

Sirius remained where he was, a few yards away, determined to see the scene end peacefully.

'You didn't give it food, did you?'

'No, Uncle Vernon. I didn't give him anything.'

'And you won't in future. _Mutts_ ,' he spat. 'You give him something once and they'll occupy your house waiting for more. Bloody leeches…'

'Yes, Uncle Vernon,' said Harry.

'Ah, well.' The man huffed and unlocked the door. 'You go to your room. I don't want a sound out of you, understood?'

'Yes, Uncle Vernon.' With one last look at Sirius, he ducked into the house. Sirius waited where he was, listening. He could make out footsteps. Heavy ones stomped off, away from him, probably to the kitchen. The lighter ones climbed the staircase. Upstairs, a door was opened and closed again. Then, things were silent. Sirius decided that Harry was safe, and that him hanging around would only make his uncle angry. He disappeared around a corner before turning back and apparating home.

Sirius dutifully accompanied Harry on his way to and from school every day that week. In the time he did not spend running around as a dog, he worked on the house with Moony. There were still bits unfinished but it was comfortable to live in now. He even asked Moony to get his sitting room fireplace connected to the Floo network although he was not certain why. There was nobody he was in contact with except Moony, who lived with him, and Harry, who was unable to use it, but hopefully that would change in time. It would come in handy when all of the Weasleys would visit around Christmas for the dinner he had promised them and Dumbledore had authorised a connection to the Headmaster's Office at Hogwarts, just in case.

He had not told Moony about what Harry had confided in the black dog. It had been private, not even intended for Sirius' ears. He could not change what he had heard but he would not pass it on.

On Friday morning, Harry hung even further back behind his aunt and cousin than usual. Petunia had protested at first but Sirius had growled at her and she had left it alone.

'Sirius is picking me up this afternoon, Doggy,' Harry told him excitedly. 'That's why I've got my rucksack. I'm staying with him all weekend. That means I won't see you again till Monday but you'll be okay, won't you?'

Sirius nudged Harry's knee, as he always did when meaning to say yes.

Harry smiled. 'That's good. I'm really excited. I'm going to see Sirius' house and I'm going to meet Moony, too. I hope he likes me. I've never had a sleepover. Is it very weird to sleep somewhere where you haven't slept before? Aunt Petunia had to pick up Dudley once because he got scared when he stayed at Piers'. I don't think that's going to happen with me 'cause Sirius is much nicer than Piers. They wouldn't pick me up anyway. Sirius would probably take me home if I asked him but I won't. If he thinks I don't like him, he might not come back for me again.'

Sirius wanted to reassure Harry desperately but there was no way of doing that in his animagus form. He thought for a second about changing back but that would probably do more harm than anything. Just listening was probably the best he could do for Harry at the moment.

'Why do you think he invited me? Do you think he'll invite me again after that?' He paused, deep in thought. 'I don't really understand Sirius – but he's nice to me. It's nice to have someone who's nice to me.'

-oOo-

 _So, end of chapter four. I'm not a massive fan of this one because it jumps around so much, but I needed it. It's a bit shorter that the last two, but the next one will be longer again, I promise._

 _Tell me what you think! :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi :-)_

 _Here's the next chapter._

 _ **jkwhedon1919**_ _: Don't apologise for a long review ;-) Yes, Sirius not revealing himself will be playing a role later, but not for the next two or three chapters, I think. At least part of the reason why he didn't was that I wanted to have a way to have Harry voice his perspective on what's going on. Short of making him the narrator, that was the best I could do, but it did not quite work out as I planned. Maybe I'll go over it again later. Thanks for your feedback! DFTBA :-)_

–oOo–

Sirius returned that afternoon on his bike and was waiting, this time in plain sight, in front of Harry's school when the bell rang. Many of the parents who had come to pick up their kids eyed him suspiciously. He reckoned that this was mostly down to the motorbike he was leaning against. Moony had suggested wearing different clothes this time to make a better impression on everybody. He was sporting a pair of jeans and a white shirt under a light brown jacket, all brand new. Looking at himself in the mirror, he had decided that he made a rather family-friendly impression – even though the bike probably negated all his efforts.

When Harry came running out of the gates, he was grinning broadly. His eyes were shining happily and in his new uniform, he finally gave off a picture that Sirius could whole-heartedly smile at. He high fived Sirius and was again hopping up and down with excitement.

'Sirius,' he grinned, very obviously glad to see him.

'Hey, Harry. How was your week?'

'It was good. Aunt Petunia bought me new clothes and shoes and a new uniform and everything,' the words came in a rush. 'She even asked me what _I_ wanted and when I said a rucksack, she did get me one. I've got all my things in here and the book you gave me. You were right – she did not take it away.'

'See, I promised, didn't I?' He laughed at Harry's happy face, simply unable to resist the infectious enthusiasm. He had made some improvements in Harry's life, however little they might be.

'Are we leaving now?'

From the corner of his eye, Sirius could see Dudley approaching, accompanied by the four boys that Sirius had already scared off twice. 'Sure, get in.'

Harry climbed into the sidecar again and not few students stared as Sirius kicked the machine to life and the bike roared off along the road a little faster than was strictly necessary. Harry laughed as he was pressed backwards into his seat by the acceleration. Sirius chuckled – he had never been able to resist speed and the chance to make an impression – and if it made Harry happy, there was really no alternative…

'Where do you live?' asked Harry.

'Not far from here. It's about half an hour away – provided you don't mind flying,' he teased.

Harry grinned, as Sirius had expected. 'I like flying.'

Indeed, they landed in front of his house about thirty-five minutes later that Harry had spent talking about what had been happening in his life, most of which Sirius already knew since Harry had told the black dog. Moony was waiting for them in the open front door. He would have heard the bike approach.

'Harry, that's Moony,' said Sirius and gesticulated to the house. He had reminded a bemused Moony to be extra nice to Harry – something that, knowing him, was completely superfluous. Still, having heard Harry repeatedly worrying about Moony not liking him, he had not been able to help himself.

Harry nodded and carefully climbed out of the sidecar with his rucksack. He was looking around curiously as they made their way through the overgrown front garden towards Moony. Sirius could tell that Harry was getting more and more nervous as they got closer but he kept walking unperturbedly.

Moony smiled, knelt down to be on Harry's level and held out a hand for him to shake. 'Hi, I'm Remus.'

Harry shook his hand. 'I'm Harry,' he said cautiously.

'Nice to meet you, Harry,' Moony smiled, 'Are you hungry? I made chocolate cake, do you like that?'

Harry nodded and followed Moony who had taken the lead to the kitchen. Sirius tried to see the house as Harry would. It still bore definite signs of building work, especially in the hall, the one room that needed the most work still. It smelled of fresh paint, the door to the living room was missing, the banisters needed painting and the stairs that had been covered in fifty-year-old carpet when Sirius had bought the house were yet to be polished.

'I told you that we only just moved in,' he explained to Harry. 'So it's not quite finished yet. I hope you don't mind too much.' Overall, the house was perfectly habitable, aesthetics the main thing they would need to work on.

Harry shook his head silently. Sirius guessed that he was rather overwhelmed – understandably so. While they settled at the kitchen table, Moony and Sirius made small talk, discussing the flight on the bike to give Harry a chance to acclimatise.

It was Moony who directed the first question to Harry after they had all started on their large slices of rich and still warm chocolate cake. 'Harry, what would you like to do today? We've got all afternoon.'

'What is there that we can do?' asked Harry carefully after a moment's deliberation.

'Not that much, I'm afraid,' said Sirius. He had planned to buy a broomstick and let Harry have a go since he seemed to enjoy flying so much but Moony had forbidden it. He had stressed that Harry was not used to magic and therefore they should cut down on it as much as possible. Sirius had agreed with that. Being here would be strange enough for Harry, even without them waving their wands about every few minutes. Instead, he had bought a muggle ball that was not nearly as exciting as a broomstick in any respect.

'We have some board games here that we could play. We could go for a walk outside or maybe play ball in the garden.'

'What do you want to do?' asked Harry.

'All of it sounds good to me,' said Sirius, determined to have Harry make a decision. He had gathered that Harry never had a say with his aunt and uncle.

Harry looked to Moony who nodded his agreement with Sirius, and finally said, 'Playing ball?' It sounded like a very tentative question but Sirius overheard that.

That way, they went outside after their meal, and threw and kicked the ball around the garden. After a hesitant few minutes, Harry began to thaw. Moony had been teasing Sirius after a poorly aimed kick that had the ball fly several metres past Harry. Sirius had grinned back and thrown the ball at Moony's head – he only just managed to duck it and came up again laughing.

They kept up the banter that they so easily fell into after all their time at school together and finally, Harry joined in. He grew so confident that Sirius even risked teasing him a little, too. Moony had to feed him a witty reply the first time but he delivered it with a grin.

Harry was having fun, there was no doubt about that, and so were Sirius and Moony. It was nice to spend a few hours focussing solely on kicking a ball. Harry had been teaching them the basics of football, a game that neither Moony nor Sirius had ever watched or played. Their skills were accordingly poor but Sirius guessed that that was probably a good thing. It made Harry more confident.

When the sun began to sink, they returned to the house, thirsty and physically exhausted. They had spag bol for dinner and afterwards, in return for introducing them to football, Sirius and Moony decided to teach Harry how to play Exploding Snap. He was a natural.

At around half past ten, Moony fell asleep on the couch and after laughing at that for a while, Sirius reminded himself that he was supposed to be a responsible adult.

'Harry, I think it's time for bed,' he said, trying to sound like he knew what he was doing. When were kids Harry's age supposed to be in bed?

Harry looked up at him disappointedly but said, 'Okay.'

'I'll show you where you sleep,' said Sirius. In the hall, he picked up Harry's rucksack that had been dropped there and forgotten about until that moment. 'Your room is upstairs.'

Harry followed him as they climbed the staircase.

'This is the bathroom,' he pointed to the first door on the left, 'and this is you.' He opened the door and switched on the lights. This was the only room in the house that was completely finished. He had painted the walls a pale blue and Moony had found matching curtains. They had bought a bed, desk, chair and wardrobe and found some animal posters that now decorated the walls. Sirius had also framed a picture of Harry and his parents and put it on the bedside table.

'Is this all for me?' asked Harry, awestruck. 'Just for me?'

'Sure. Do you like it?'

Harry's eyes darted around the room, taking in every detail. After almost a minute of stunned silence, he nodded, obviously too overwhelmed to speak.

Sirius hoped that this had been a good surprise and smiled at Harry as he spoke. 'Great. Tell you what. You get ready for bed, brush your teeth and everything, and I'll do some tidying downstairs and look in on you in about ten minutes?'

Harry nodded again and obediently started rummaging in his rucksack for his pyjamas. Sirius went back into the kitchen where he quickly cleared the table and washed the dishes. Then, he tidied up the playing cards in the living room. Moony was still asleep on the couch. Sirius grabbed a blanket and laid it over his sleeping friend. He turned off the lights, checked that the front door was locked and ascended the stairs once more.

Harry was already waiting for him. He had stacked all his clothes neatly in the wardrobe. His schoolbag was sitting on the desk and he was now rolling his motorcycle up and down the room.

'Brushed your teeth?'

Harry nodded and jumped onto the bed. 'I'm not even tired yet,' he declared.

Sirius laughed and resisted the urge to give in. He did what he knew what he ought to be doing – what Moony would do. 'I know. But it's late. Do you still want to go to Thorpe Park tomorrow?'

'I do. Is Remus coming?'

'Yes, I think he is. Now, come on, get under your duvet, head on pillow and sleep.'

Harry did as he was told but almost instantly sat up again, apparently too excited to control himself. Sirius had to smile at this. 'When are we leaving tomorrow?'

'After breakfast,' he answered. 'Good night. If you need anything, I'm right next door.'

'Good night.'

Sirius switched off the lights and closed the door. He thought about Harry while he got ready for bed. Was it wrong that he wanted him to stay? It might have even been wrong to make his room look so nice. The more Harry liked it here, the more it would hurt him to go back to his aunt and uncle's.

He got into bed and got to work on the crossword puzzle from the Daily Prophet like he did every night. This time, he drifted off before he had even finished half of it. He had exhausted himself and for the first time in a week, he did not have to worry about how Harry was doing.

He woke up again at around three, blinking confusedly into the light that had been left on. He dropped the now crumpled newspaper on his bedside table. Since he was awake, he decided to visit the loo before going back to sleep. When crossing the hall, however, he spotted light in Harry's room. It was extinguished almost immediately, probably when Harry had heard him moving. Concernedly, he went over and knocked. There was silence. He opened the door. Harry was pretending to be asleep.

'I saw the light,' he let him know. 'Can't you sleep?'

Harry remained motionless for another few seconds but then sat up and looked at him. He shook his head.

'Have you been up all that time?' He was wearing his glasses.

Again, Harry shook his head. 'I woke up a little while ago.'

'Is there something wrong?'

Once more, he shook his head.

They had not turned on the lights, so the room was illuminated only by the dim shine of the bare lightbulb that fell in through the crack of the half open door. Sirius crossed the room and lowered himself onto the edge of Harry's mattress. Was he homesick after all? Maybe it had been too soon to invite him to stay overnight, considering that he hardly knew Sirius at all and had only met Remus a few hours ago. 'It's bit strange, huh?' he asked. 'Sleeping in a new bed.'

Harry took a while to answer. 'It's a nice bed,' he said finally.

'Harry, if you'd rather sleep at home, I can take you back. I can understand that. I could pick you up again after breakfast, and we could go on our trip.'

Once again, he only got a shake of Harry's head as a response.

'Okay,' he said gave in, not wanting to pressure Harry. 'Is there something I can do for you, then? To help you go back to sleep?'

Harry hesitated and Sirius' heart lifted. So there was something, something he was not quite daring to ask, but it was there. He silently waited for Harry to answer.

Finally, he opened his mouth. 'I… I think… I think I'm a bit scared on my own,' he confided, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Sirius knew Harry well enough by then to appreciate how much it would have cost him to make that confession. He did not trust easily, that much was obvious. 'What are you scared of?' He thought about the things that he had been scared of as a child – thestrals, malevolent ghosts, and the inferi that one of his least favourite uncles had told him about when he had been five.

'The dark.'

'Oh, but all good magic happens in the dark.' The words had slipped from his mouth automatically and he needed a moment to remember where he got them from. They had been the title of a book, one of James' that he had seen in his room when he had visited for the first time, around Christmas when he had been only twelve. James had called it "babyish" when he had seen Sirius reading it, and it was, really – a picture book.

Harry looked puzzled by his outburst.

'It's a story,' Sirius hurried to explain. 'Your grandma used to read it to your Dad when he was your age.' Prongs had never actually told him that but Sirius could read between the lines.

'What's the story?'

'I can't remember the exact words, but I can try if you like?'

'Yes, please.'

'Lie down, then,' Sirius instructed and tried to order the snippets he remembered as Harry settled himself. Sirius cleared his throat and began to speak. What had become of him – he asked himself with a little smile – telling bedtime stories? Who would have thought?

'In the evening, when the sun goes down, all muggles go to sleep. That's when witches and wizards get up because at night they can do magic without anybody watching. The most adventurous fly with the owls, so high that they can almost touch the moon. The wisest make fires in the woods and dance all night with the centaurs. The cleverest trade gold and rubies and everything that shines with the goblins. The most curious dive deep in the water to sing with the mere people.'

The list had been longer in the book, but he could not remember all of them. Each example had had a page to itself and a moving picture to accompany it. 'The most studious brew potions to cure all illnesses. The bravest ride dragons. The gentlest feed unicorns.' Harry eyes were closed now but they fluttered open when Sirius paused. 'But when the morning comes and the muggles wake up, the magic goes to sleep until the stars shine again.'

'That's the story?' asked Harry.

'Yeah, that's the story.'

Harry nodded and yawned. 'I like it. Did Dad like it?'

'I'm sure he did.'

'Do you think I can fly on a broomstick?'

'I'll teach you.'

'You will?'

'Yes, I'm definitely planning to.'

Harry smiled at that and sighed but did not speak. Sirius followed his lead and remained silent, and just a few minutes later, Harry's eyes had fallen shut and his breathing was slow and even. Sirius watched him for another while. He was amazed that he had actually managed to calm Harry down to get him back to sleep – or at least, he had not hindered him in the process. That was something, he told himself as he returned to his own bed with a smile on his face.

–oOo–

When Sirius came into the kitchen the next morning, he found Moony and Harry pondering a large map of England. Harry greeted him with a big grin. 'We are planning how we're gonna get there,' he explained unprompted.

Sirius nodded and poured himself a coffee. He was not ready for conversation yet.

'He needs to wake up first,' Moony told Harry. 'Give him a few minutes.'

Harry nodded and continued his breakfast. It looked as if Moony had made him eggy bread and cocoa.

'French toast, Padfoot?' asked Moony. When Sirius nodded, he got up and busied himself with the frying pan. Sirius yawned. His brain was slowly starting to run and his eyes opened a little wider. Harry seemed already wide-awake.

Moony set a plate in front of him. 'Cheers,' mumbled Sirius.

'Ready to talk?' asked Moony.

'Pretty much.'

'Okay, so we've had a look and Thorpe Park seems to be here.' He pointed to a spot not far from where they were, to the west of London. 'I reckon it'd take not much more than half an hour to get there on your bike.'

Sirius yawned again. 'We don't all fit on there.'

'So you say we should apparate?' asked Moony, giving Harry a calculating look. 'Are you sure that's a good idea?'

'Well, what's the alternative?' He looked over at Harry. 'Apparating feels a bit weird, but it's very quick.'

Harry shrugged. 'I don't know what that is.'

Moony did not look convinced.

'Come on,' said Sirius. 'Prongs would have taken him along.' Fleamont had been side-along apparating his son ever since he had been five, claiming that it was good to get used to it as early as possible. James would with all likelihood have done the same with his own son.

Moony chuckled and sighed. 'He's your godson, your responsibility.'

With these words, the matter was settled. Sirius nodded. This was a decision he could make that did not give him a stomach-ache.

'Have you got muggle money?' asked Moony.

'Yeah, I exchanged quite a lot yesterday.'

'Can you lend me some? I'll pay you back in Galleons.'

Sirius waved it off. 'Rubbish. You're invited. I have to find a way to spend that money the Ministry paid me as compensation.'

'If you're certain?' asked Moony uncomfortably. Why was it that he was still uncomfortable about this? He should know better by now.

'Sure. It's my pleasure.' In the past, it had always been Prongs who had had the money. Sirius had never hoped to inherit anything except for what is uncle Alphard had left him. He had always expected Regulus to get everything but since his brother had gotten himself killed and Sirius was now the only remaining Black, he had inherited the entirety of the family fortune plus the impressive amount of compensation for being unjustly locked up in Azkaban for seven years. Inviting Moony along on a daytrip was nothing.

'When are we leaving?' asked Harry when he had finished his breakfast.

'As soon as we're all ready. Why don't you go get dressed?'

Harry slid of his chair and sprinted up the stairs.

Sirius yawned once more and downed the last of his coffee. 'Thanks for looking after him.'

'No problem.'

'What do you make of him?' asked Sirius. They had not had a chance to talk alone since Harry had arrived.

'He's a good kid.' Moony raised his wand and made all the dishes fly into the sink, hesitating before he continued. 'You were right. He looks so much like Prongs but he has Lily's eyes. Do you think we should take snacks?'

'I guess, I've got no idea if they sell food at that place.' He looked at Moony. 'Am I doing the right thing? Bringing him here, I mean?'

'You are doing what James and Lily wanted you to do. Harry is their kid. It's their opinion that matters.'

'Yes, but that was seven years ago. Things have changed, haven't they? Who knows what they'd say today.'

Remus sighed sadly. 'We'll never be able to tell for sure but… Lily didn't want him to go to her sister. She never intended for that to happen. They picked you as godfather because they thought Harry would be safest and happiest with you.'

Sirius sighed. 'I never understood why they didn't pick you. You know how to deal with kids. You made him breakfast. You know what's safe and what isn't. You're a lot better with him.'

Moony smiled. 'I don't think that's how the whole godfather thing works… and it's certainly not how love works. I can tell he adores you.'

'He doesn't love me. He doesn't even know me yet.'

Moony shrugged but Sirius could tell from the look in his eyes that he was not at all convinced. He dropped the subject anyway as he heard Harry's footsteps coming down the stairs. He took that as a signal to get up and get ready himself.

When he came back downstairs, he found Moony packing a rucksack with sandwiches, bottles of water, tea and cocoa, and leftovers from yesterday's cake. Harry was watching, fidgeting excitedly on a kitchen chair.

It took another few minutes until everybody was wearing shoes and coats. They stepped out onto the street.

Sirius turned to his godson. 'Okay, Harry, what you have to do is hold onto my arm and not let go, understand? It's going to feel a little weird but it'll pass. Just hold onto my arm, alright?'

Harry nodded and followed the instructions. Moony gave them a nod and he and the rucksack disappeared with a faint _plop_. Harry stared at the spot where he had vanished.

'Is that what we're gonna do?' he asked.

'Yes. Are you ready?'

Harry grip tightened and he nodded determinedly. Sirius took a second to admire his leap of faith before spinning on the spot and into the familiar feeling of tightness and discomfort. After a few seconds, he felt the ground beneath his feet and looked down at Harry. He staggered a little and his face was whiter than usual.

'Are you okay?'

'I'm feeling a bit sick.'

'I know. It'll pass,' he said and decided to distract him. 'Now, where do you think Moony got to?'

He looked around. They had appeared on the edge of a large and mostly empty carpark. He looked at his watch. It was only half past nine. A person waved at them from about fifty yards away – Moony.

They made their way towards him and after being greeted with a wide smile followed signs that pointed them to the entrance. The closer they got, the more people were walking in the same direction. Finally, they joined a queue to buy the tickets.

'We could just apparate in,' suggested Sirius but the look of horror on Harry's face convinced him otherwise. They were moving quite fast, anyway.

After buying the tickets, Sirius picked up a map of all the rides and together they made a plan of where to go first.

Luckily for Harry, he was just above the minimum height required to be allowed on most of the rollercoasters. Harry had a fantastic time going on one ride after the other and Sirius enjoyed seeing him laugh.

At lunchtime, they sat on a bench and ate their picnic, followed by ice creams. By late afternoon, they had been on almost every ride there was. They decided to have some dinner and afterwards go on just one more ride before returning home.

'Please may we go on that one?' Harry pleaded. They were standing in front of something that was advertised with skeletons and monsters.

'It might be a little scary,' said Moony doubtfully. Sirius looked up at the werewolves painted on the front and could not help but grin at his friend.

'Dudley said he went on it and he was not scared at all,' insisted Harry. 'Please may we go? It says kids are allowed when they are eight or older.' He pointed to a sign.

Moony shrugged and looked to Sirius for a decision. He sighed. 'Okay, but it's the last one. No arguing afterwards. It's this ride and then we go home. Deal?'

Harry nodded with a broad grin on his face and ran ahead to join the queue. Moony and Sirius followed.

'I can't say I'm much of a fan of muggle entertainment,' said Sirius. 'Just think how good this stuff would be with a little magic. Frankly, making a deposit at Gringotts is more exciting than this, isn't it? I reckon a dragon might spice this place up a little, don't you?'

Moony laughed. 'You should get onto that – a magic theme park. You could make the muggles think that everything is just really clever muggle technology. Might be a good moneymaking strategy.'

When they were about to take their places in the carts, Harry looked slightly frightened.

'We can still go back,' said Sirius but Harry shook his head.

In Sirius' opinion, the ride was not exactly scary. There were some dummies and even more skeletons, colourful flickering lights and high-pitched laughter being played from a track. Artificial spider webs covered the walls and mechanical vampire heads turned as the passed them.

Sirius was not scared in the slightest. Harry, however, buried his face in Sirius' arm about half way through and almost ran from the ride when it finished.

Sirius and Moony hurried after him. He had stopped a few dozen yards away, panting and looking absolutely terrified. Sirius looked at his friend, asking for advice, but Moony just shrugged. He had obviously no idea what had scared Harry this much, either. Sure, some of the other children who had been sitting near them had gone a little quiet but none showed a reaction nearly as extreme as Harry.

Sirius placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. 'What's wrong?' he asked.

Harry shook his head and did not answer.

'Shall we go home?' suggested Moony and Harry nodded this time. They made their way to the exit along with most people. Harry was staring into nothingness, walking so slowly that Sirius picked him up at some point and carried him on his shoulders. He seemed to have gotten a proper scare. He did not say a single word until they arrived at a spot where they would be able to disapparate without any muggles noticing.

'Harry, please hold my arm again.' Harry did as he was told and within seconds, they were back at Sirius' house. This time, the journey did not seem to have had any impact on Harry. He was still staring into thin air.

'Do you fancy a snack before bed?' asked Sirius as they walked inside. 'Or a hot chocolate or something like that?'

Harry shook his head again and Sirius and Moony exchanged another look. What had gotten into him?

'Okay, off you go then.' Sirius pushed him gently towards the stairs. 'Go get ready for bed. I'll be up to say good night in a bit.'

Harry slumped up the steps. Sirius watched him and then followed Moony into the kitchen to help unpack what was left of their picnic.

'We shouldn't have let him on that thing,' said Moony. 'Do you know why he got that scared?'

'No, not a clue.' He sighed. This parenting business was harder than he expected. He thought about what James and Lily would say if they saw Harry now, and swallowed. What had he done to their child?

'Don't worry,' said Moony who had been watching him. 'He'll snap out of it. Kids get scared easily and the next moment they're completely fine again. I bet he won't even remember this tomorrow.'

'I guess.' He looked up at the ceiling. 'I'll just go and check on him.'

Moony nodded and he climbed the staircase.

Harry had not changed into his pyjamas yet. He was sitting next to his bed, holding the picture of his parents. Sirius sat down next to him. 'Can you tell me what's wrong?' he asked quietly. ''Cause I really do want to help you.'

Harry did not answer – he just kept staring at the little picture in which Lily and James were laughing. Sirius was not even sure he had even heard him until he shook his head. 'I don't know,' he said quietly.

Sirius wrecked his brains trying to work out what to do. Should he keep asking? Should he drop the subject completely? Or something in the middle? 'Okay…' he said finally. 'So you didn't get much sleep last night and today was a long day. Do you think you could go to bed?'

Harry looked at him in bewilderment and then nodded. 'Yeah, I'll…' His voice drifted off into silence.

Sirius left him to get ready but when he returned, Harry was still acting oddly. He did not ask again but gave Harry a general reassurance that he could tell him anything. He also offered to stay until Harry was asleep. Harry nodded eagerly to that.

That night, it took a lot longer than before. Sirius sat at Harry's bed almost until midnight when he finally dozed off. He had not been crying but he did not want to be alone, that was obvious. Sirius had assured Harry over and over again that he would be just next door and that he was very happy for Harry to knock if he could not sleep, all the while cursing himself for letting Harry on that stupid ghost train.

–oOo–

 _There we are. I've never actually been to Thorpe Park, least of all in 1988, and I completely made up the Ghost Train ride._

 _Tell me what you think! :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello :-)_

 _Thanks for your reviews, everyone. Yes, the lights and the laughter made Harry remember Voldemort. I was wondering if someone would guess or if the hint was too obscure._

–oOo–

Sirius' alarm showed one in the morning when he slowly dozed off into an uneven sleep but he was disturbed again much too soon by a gentle knock on the door. 'Mhm?' he groaned and turned his head, expecting Moony who wanted to talk to him about something, but the figure was smaller.

'Sirius?' came a quiet voice.

'Yeah?' He was so tired… But this was important! This was a test. There was no doubt in him that Mr and Mrs Dursley would not allow their nephew to disturb their sleep. He knew that if this went badly, Harry would probably not ask for his help again. He reached for his lamp and turned it on.

'I'm scared. I don't want to be alone.' He was clinging to the doorframe for support, his pyjama-clad figure looking lost.

Sirius sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He wondered what he should do. There were two options, and he had already spent hours on one of them that night. 'Come here,' he said finally, and threw back the duvet on the free side of the bed.

Harry eyed him carefully.

'Or I can come and sit with you for a bit,' said Sirius, instantly doubting whether he had made the right choice.

Harry shook his head and stepped closer tentatively. 'Dudley is allowed in Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's bed but I'm not,' he said almost too quietly for Sirius to hear.

'Well, Dudley isn't allowed in this bed,' he said. 'That's fair then, isn't it?'

Harry smiled shyly. 'Uncle Vernon says that kids are only allowed in the beds of their _real_ parents.'

Sirius tried to supress the emotions this sentence raised in him. Now was not the time for a discussion on that sensitive topic. 'I don't think your uncle is always right,' said Sirius. 'I say you're allowed in this bed. Okay?'

Harry studied him for a few seconds and then nodded. He crawled under the duvet.

Sirius' bed was easily big enough for two but Harry had definitely not been the second party he had imagined when he had bought it. He sighed and settled back into his pillow, too, turning off the lights.

'Sirius?' said Harry's little voice after a few seconds, loud in the darkness even though it was barely a whisper.

'Yeah?'

'Thank you.'

'That's okay, Harry.'

There was only Harry's breathing to be heard after that and Sirius spent quite some time listening to it before it finally became deeper and more relaxed. Satisfied that he was asleep, Sirius closed his own eyes.

The sleeping arrangement felt oddly familiar. Back at Grimmauld Place, crawling into the parents' bed after a nightmare had never been an option. Sirius had tried once but it had ended with his father dragging him back to his room by the ear before locking him in. It had also landed him on the receiving end of a talk about how unseemly it was for "the heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black" to behave in such a way. After that, he had always remained where he was, no matter what he had feared was lurking under his bed. He could not have been older than four.

Sirius did not know if Regulus had experienced the same thing but he did know that the younger boy had taken to coming to Sirius after bad dreams. Back then, Sirius had loved his little brother, his only accomplice in their dark and scary world. He had been glad to provide some consolation even if at the same time he had resentfully accepted that he would never be able to run to an older brother for comfort – to anybody at all, for that matter. He had been wrong about that, of course.

During their first year at Hogwarts, Peter had suffered horribly from homesickness, leading to Moony letting him into his bed to stop him from crying in their very first week. He had returned the favour by letting Moony into his bed whenever Greyback visited him in his nightmares – although none of them had known that back then, of course. It had soon become an unspoken agreement that whichever boy was woken first by somebody else's distress would drag him to his own bed for the remainder of the night. Over the years, Sirius had ended up with Prongs a few times that way. It had been one of their best-guarded secrets, something that had never left their dormitory. Sirius doubted that James had even told Lily about it.

Sirius lay awake for some time, pondering. While he did, Harry turned over a few times, inching his way towards Sirius unconsciously. He ended up cuddled against Sirius' side, curled up almost like a cat. Sirius had to smile at that and very cautiously placed an arm around the child's shoulders, careful not to disturb him.

'I've got you, Harry,' he muttered under his breath, using his thumb to stroke his back just the tiniest bit. 'I'll look after you.' With that and an unfamiliar warm feeling in his stomach, he finally fell asleep.

He was woken when Moony knocked on his door. 'Harry wasn't in his room, have you…?'

Sirius nodded sleepily and pointed to the child who was still snuggled up to his chest.

Moony exhaled in relief. 'Good, I was worried for a moment there. Did he sleep?'

Sirius nodded and yawned. 'Yeah, he came in some time last night. Slept like a log as far as I can tell. What time is it?'

'Almost eleven. I made breakfast for the two of you.' He made two trays of food levitate into the room.

Sirius felt his mood take a leap upwards at the sight of food. 'Brilliant,' he assessed and ruffled Harry's hair. 'Morning, Sleepyhead. Breakfast in bed.'

Harry opened his eyes and blinked a few times. When he realised where he was and that he was laying half on top of Sirius, he jerked back quickly, obviously worried to have crossed some sort of line. Sirius smiled at him. 'Moony made breakfast.' He did not want him to feel guilty. He did not mind being cuddled.

Remus sat down on the bed and they shared breakfast. Harry's appetite seemed to be back to normal. After they had finished eating, they sat on the bed for a little longer, talking. Harry gave Sirius a few calculating looks before leaning against his arm. Sirius ruffled his hair again in response and caught Remus looking at them in amusement.

It was raining outside and since Harry did not have a mac or wellies (neither did Sirius, for that matter) they did not have much of a choice but to stay inside. They spent a lazy afternoon playing Exploding Snap and Sirius successfully managed to push the increasingly close goodbye to Harry to the back of his mind, putting it off hour after hour. They might as well play one last game of Exploding Snap, what difference did that make? And another. Oh, and it was still raining so they might as well wait to see if it eased off in a few minutes – rain on the bike was a pain. Moony had won another round and they could not possibly let him take the lead, so they had to have another rematch.

Sirius only broke himself out of this reasoning when it was almost nightfall and a bad conscience made him send Harry upstairs to pack his rucksack. Sirius and Moony remained sitting in the living room, waiting. The impeding goodbye seemed to loom over Sirius, managing to destroy his good mood as effectively as a dementor could have. Five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen…

Sirius was on the verge of going upstairs and checking on Harry when there were finally footsteps on the stairs. He heaved himself off the sofa, his lips itching to suggest just one more rematch. As much as he wanted it, he could not simply "keep" Harry, refuse to return him like a good book from the library.

He mind was locked in a fierce battle. The weekend had been good – well, at least for the most part, disregarding his rather sensational cock-up of the previous afternoon. Overall, it had been brilliant to have Harry around. Scary, yes, but utterly brilliant, too.

Still, he told himself as he tied his shoelaces, nothing had changed. It was easy to forget when talking to him but there were people out there who wanted to see Harry dead. Sirius would make himself the most reckless godfather in history if he disregarded that fact in favour of how much fun it was to play cards with the boy.

He was dragged out of his thoughts by Moony who was saying goodbye to Harry. 'It was very nice having you here. Maybe you'll come and visit us again soon?'

Harry nodded silently. He stood on the third step of the staircase and did not move when Sirius opened the front door.

'Let's get going then,' he said much against his will. When Harry stayed rooted to the spot, he felt both annoyed and glad to put off the inevitable moment of saying goodbye.

'What's up?' he asked. Stepping closer, he could see tears rolling over Harry's face. He looked to Moony for help but he just shrugged, looking just as helpless as Sirius felt. 'Harry?'

Harry looked up now. Seeing him like this felt like a punch to the stomach, this little boy who looked so much like his best friend. There were Lily's eyes, swollen with tears, looking at him pleadingly.

Sirius stepped closer and Harry jumped at him, his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. Sirius automatically hugged him to hold him in place, following an instinct he did not know he had. 'There, there,' he said in what he hoped would be a soothing tone. He wanted to say what Harry wanted to hear, to dry the tears – but Dumbledore's point still stood. Harry's life might one day be saved by the fact that he lived with his mother's only blood relatives.

'I can be quiet and be in my room most of the time and I won't bother you,' Harry burbled in a rush, 'and I can cook and I can wash dishes and… Aunt Petunia doesn't make me do the hoovering and the dusting but I'm sure I can learn… and I can weed the garden and I can tidy up and maybe I can even work somewhere else and make some money to pay you back and I can take care of myself and I promise I won't be a burden and…'

Sirius felt his heart break. 'Shh,' he said gently and Harry fell silent. He looked to Moony and instantly saw that they had both heard the same thing. 'Moony, please get Dumbledore,' he said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. 'Tell him it's urgent.'

Moony nodded and hurried into the sitting room. The fireplace roared into life before Sirius had moved. He followed Moony slowly, still carrying Harry.

'I would love for you to stay with me, Harry,' he said quietly, 'but this is more complicated than you understand.' In fact, _complicated_ did not even begin to cover it.

He wanted Dumbledore here even though he knew that it was not him he had to convince. Dumbledore had never forbidden him to take Harry. He had told him that it was unwise, rash and shortsighted, but he could never have kept Sirius from doing whatever he wanted. Sirius was Harry's legal guardian and there was nothing the old man could do against that.

No, Sirius had to convince himself. He knew better than to ignore Dumbledore's advice light-heartedly. He had an insight into almost all part of the magical society and more experience to draw on than Sirius could ever dream of, the man was a legend… but if Sirius could only get his point across to him, make him see all the facts, and if Dumbledore agreed that Harry would be best off with his godfather, then Sirius would know that he was doing the right thing.

Responsibility… Maybe he was being a coward, maybe he was being childish, but he knew that he would not be able to bare Harry's death on his conscience… but he could just as little take him back to rot with a family that treated him so badly that he would prefer a life of housework at Sirius' to being with them.

No, he needed help, and Dumbledore and Moony were the only two people he could ask. Moony did not know any better than he did himself, he already knew that. Dumbledore was his only hope. When they had last talked, Sirius had not even been sure that Harry wanted to be taken away from his relatives. That had changed. He had more information now, more insight into what Harry's life with his relatives was really like.

Harry's head was buried in his shoulder and he could feel his tears soaking his shirt. He was clinging to him with all his might, his little arms so tight that they almost hurt Sirius' neck. His sobs were shaking his whole body and Sirius could only imagine what it had cost him to show so much vulnerability. He had seen the tension in Harry's body when he had confessed to him that he was scared of the dark but this was a whole other dimension.

He sat down on one of the sofas with Harry on his lap.

'We'll find a way to make it okay,' he promised. 'We'll find a way, I promise.' He knew that he could not send him back to the life he had been living. It was sad, lonely and hopeless. Prongs and Lily had loved Harry so much. They could not possibly want this. He stroked Harry's back. 'I can't promise you anything I'm not sure I'll be able to keep – but I do promise that I will do everything I can to make sure you're safe and happy. I will look after you, I give you my word.'

The fireplace turned green again and Moony stepped out, his face grave. Sirius caught his gaze, looking for support, for confirmation that he was doing the right thing. Moony only nodded.

The fire roared up once more and Dumbledore emerged. He, too, was sporting a sombre expression. Sirius instinctively tightened his hold on Harry as Dumbledore's blue eyes found his. His former headmaster sighed. 'Good evening, Sirius, Harry.'

'Albus,' replied Sirius. Harry had fallen silent when things had started moving. He was listening but his face remained hidden. 'Take a seat.'

Dumbledore sat, as did Moony. 'Perhaps it would be best if Harry was not in the room when we discuss this,' the old man suggested mildly.

Sirius was inclined to agree but he knew that there was no way he could pry Harry out of his arms. Even at the words, Harry had begun to shake again and his hold had tightened.

'He has a right to know,' said Sirius, stroking Harry's back again to reassure him. 'This concerns him more than anybody.'

'I have offered you my opinion on this, Sirius.' Dumbledore was watching them closely. 'That is all I am able to do. It is your right to decide what happens to Harry – that is how James and Lily wanted it.' He sighed, his tone becoming more compassionate. 'I can see that you love him…'

Sirius froze. Did he love Harry? He had never thought of it like that but… yes – yes, he did love him. The realisation hit him like a bludger to the head. How had he not even noticed? In his confusion, he looked to Moony who nodded at him sadly and gave him a knowing smile. He had known. How had he known before Sirius had himself?

He knew what love felt like, he had just not expected it, at least not like this. He had thought that it was his devotion to Prongs and Lily that made him act so protective of Harry, but he had been wrong – at least, that was only a part of it. He thought back, trying to pinpoint the moment when he had started to love Harry, to love him as more than just his best mate's kid. When he had first seen him in the hall of his aunt and uncle's house? When he had given him the picture of James and Lily? Or had it been in the graveyard when they had cried together, or maybe only last night, when he had watched Harry sleeping?

'… and I can see why you want him close,' continued Dumbledore, forcing Sirius to put off trying to find an answer to that mystery. 'You made a promise to your best friend, you feel you have to make up for the time that you weren't there. You have made your point clear to me and I understand your reasoning. Nonetheless, I remain convinced that acting rashly is not in Harry's best interest.'

Sirius opened his mouth in protest, to say that he had not acted rashly in any way. The fact that Vernon and Petunia Dursley were still unharmed and happy – the exact opposite of what he wanted them to be – should serve was proof that he could control himself. His wand arm had been itching for a good curse ever since he had found out that Harry had not known what his parents looked like before he had shown him the picture. That had been two weeks ago.

'Sir, Sirius did not act rashly,' said Moony calmly before Sirius had found his voice. 'It was not him who suggested that Harry stay here.'

Dumbledore nodded gravely. 'Not directly. Nonetheless, what did you tell me, Sirius? You went to see Harry, and bought him sweets and gave him presents. You offer him access to information on his parents. You spend whole days doing nothing but focus on him, not to mention showing him the magical world. It is only natural that Harry would want more. Any child would.'

Was that true? Had he only bought Harry's sympathy? Dumbledore had a point, he had started to give Harry things almost as soon as they had met. He had done even more, things that Dumbledore did not know about. He had given Harry a whole room, a trip to an amusement park…

Before he could ponder the matter further, Moony intervened once more. 'He showed him affection,' he disagreed. 'That alone would not be enough to make a child want to leave the only family they ever knew, not if they treated him decently. I know I would not have, and I credit Harry with enough sense not to voice a desire like that light-heartedly.'

Harry had not made the impression of expecting a life of presents and luxury when he had asked to stay. On the contrary, he might as well have been a house elf asking for work. Bloody muggles…

'There's something wrong with them,' Sirius jumped in. 'They don't treat him well, I told you.'

Dumbledore sighed and just as he opened his mouth, Harry whispered something.

'Pardon?' asked Sirius, instantly alert.

'They made me sleep in the cupboard,' repeated Harry, just loud enough for Sirius to hear.

He tried to make sense of that snipped. 'The cupboard? Were you hiding in there?'

'The cupboard under the stairs,' muttered Harry. 'That's where I used to sleep before they gave me Dudley's second bedroom. They'd lock me in for days when they were angry with me.'

Suddenly, the whole episode of Mr Dursley not wanting Sirius to see Harry's room fell into place. It was because there had been no room. "Dudley's second bedroom" – that explained the argument between the boy and his parents.

He loosened Harry's grip to be able to look at him. His eyes were red and Sirius searched them desperately for some sign of deception, for any trace of dishonesty. He found nothing of the sort, just pain and fear. He was telling the truth even though Sirius wished with all his might that it were different. Harry, precious Harry, whom Prongs and Lily had considered the most important person in the world – how could they have treated him that way? How could they have been so cruel to such a small and innocent person?

'That's it,' he growled, struggling to keep his anger in check. He pulled Harry close again, only just reminding himself that he had to be gentle not to hurt him. 'You are never going back there! You are never again setting one foot in the place, you hear me? There's no way I'm letting you! You're staying with me.' He got less angry as he spoke, suddenly realising what he was saying. He meant all of it. 'You're mine now,' he said softly.

Harry's breath caught. 'I can stay?' he asked quietly.

'You can stay,' confirmed Sirius, tears gathering in his eyes. 'I want you to stay. You're never going back to _them_.'

–oOo–

 _That's it, I'm afraid. I know it's only a short one. I split what I originally had as one chapter because it would have been almost 6500 words and that was too long. So, this is a rather short one, as will the next. But I'm not too mean, since I decided to include the last few paragraphs. Otherwise, this could have ended up a cliffhanger ;-)_

 _Tell me what you think!_

 _DFTBA!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello :-)_

 _Here it is, the next chapter. I'm sad to say it's awfully short again. I think I mucked up, I should have left this one and the previous one in one piece. Well, too late now…_

 _ **Professor Potterhead** : Thank you so much :-) I decided to make the quotations marks the same way they are in my Harry Potter books, so the difference is probably British vs American English? Not sure, it really had me confuse when I first read the books in English but I suppose it just depends on what you're used to. ;-)_

 _ **RebeccaRoy** : Thank you :-) Being related to James would be of no use whatsoever, would it? I mean, it was Lily whose sacrifice saved Harry, not James. _

_Thank you so much to everyone else who commented. You always make my day :-)_

–oOo–

Harry started to cry again.

'Sirius?' interjected Dumbledore, sounding puzzled. 'Please explain.' At least Harry's side of their conversation had been too quiet for anybody but Sirius to hear.

Sirius looked up at him with wet eyes. He could not dry them – both his arms were busy holding Harry. 'They made him sleep in a cupboard,' he repeated, 'until I demanded to see his room. Then, they gave him his cousin's _second_ bedroom – and don't try to explain that away, Albus. That's evil, plain and simple. They were never going to love him, he was never going to be treated acceptably in that house.'

Dumbledore sighed deeply. 'Are you certain?' His tone was defeated, almost apologetic, but the question nonetheless caused another wave of fury to hit Sirius.

He was only kept in his seat by Harry's weight on his lap. That did not stop his fists from clenching and his breathing becoming laboured, however. He was shaking but he did not want to shout when Harry was still shivering, clinging to him as if he was holding on for dear life. He could not explode, not now.

'He's not lying,' he managed to press out and even to his own ears, it almost sounded like a growl.

While Sirius was still trying to control his temper, Harry twisted in his arms, facing Dumbledore for the first time. Sirius had loosened his hold when Harry had started wriggling but he tightened it again when Harry pressed his back against Sirius' chest.

Sitting like this, Sirius was unable to see Harry's face but he could tell that he held his head high. 'Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon and Dudley don't like me but I think that Sirius does,' he said, his voice shaking ever so slightly. 'He's nice to me and that's why I want to stay with him.'

Sirius felt a wave of affection and pride for Harry. He was holding a future Gryffindor, there was no doubt about that. Standing up to Dumbledore was incredibly difficult, something most adult wizard dared not do. Harry was brave, he was determined, a fighter. The Dursleys had not broken him, had not managed to take away his hope. 'Of course I like you, Harry,' Sirius muttered into Harry's hair. 'Of course I like you.'

'It's not worth it,' he said to Dumbledore more loudly. 'I won't send him back there. The price is too high, Dumbledore. We'll find another way but I can't send him back, I just can't.' He would not stand for it. He would be dammed if he left Harry at the mercy of people who locked him in a cupboard. Whatever would come, even if Voldemort returned, he could not justify Harry suffering like this. There was a line and it had been crossed.

Dumbledore looked at the child intently and Sirius did not have to be a genius to guess that he was using Legilimency on him. He fought the urge to tell Dumbledore to stay out of his godson's head – if this was what it took to convince Dumbledore, then it was worth it.

Dumbledore ended his inspection of the boy with a nod. He held out a hand to Harry. 'I owe you an apology, Harry. I am deeply sorry. I was not aware of what transpired between you and your relatives.'

Harry looked up at Sirius for guidance. When he shrugged and nodded, Harry seized the old man's hand. Sirius doubted that he really understood what Dumbledore had been apologising for – he did not know that it had been Dumbledore who had placed him with the Dursleys. Still, that did not matter now. He would explain it to Harry at some point, maybe in a few years' time. He did not want to scare him today.

Dumbledore looked back to Sirius who was unsure whether he should show himself amicable or not. He knew that Dumbledore had had the best of intentions when leaving Harry with his only blood relatives but did that excuse that he had never checked up on him? Then again, Sirius had also assumed that Harry had found a home with them at first.

Sirius sighed and vowed to think this over some other time. He felt anger but he already had so much of that – at himself, the Ministry, Voldemort, the rat, the Dursleys… Did he really want to add Dumbledore to that list? For now, there were more important things to consider – namely Harry.

'I shall provide you with the best protection I can create,' Dumbledore promised. 'I will prepare and return in a few days. Until then, you should be safe. I assume nobody else knows that you are here?'

Sirius shook his head. He had used a Memory Charm on the muggle who had sold him the house after he had paid him. He would have forgotten all the details about the sale. Other than Moony, he had not given anybody the address – not even Dumbledore knew their current location. The Floo connection had been made in Moony's name. Nobody could trace Harry back to that, presuming someone tried, which was highly unlikely. Nobody outside the room knew that Moony was in contact with Sirius and that Sirius was in contact with Harry. That alone would be enough to protect them for a while yet, lost in the muggle world.

'Then I shall take my leave. I assume you will want to celebrate.' He got up and nodded to each of them in turn. 'Remus, my boy, it was good to see you again. Sirius, Harry, congratulations. I know you two will do very well together.'

Sirius nodded back and Moony stood politely. The old man vanished into the fireplace and left the sitting room to sink into silence.

Sirius stared at Moony, trying to grasp what had just happened. He had just taken on the task of raising Harry. Suddenly, he was terrified. What did he know about kids? He had already failed Harry, yesterday. That was not good. Harry deserved better.

'Padfoot,' said Moony, breaking him out of the budding panic. 'What would Prongs say?'

What would he say? What had he said? When he had asked him to be godfather, Sirius had – after the initial jokes – told him that he did not expect to be made godfather just because he was Prongs' best friend. "I'm honoured, mate, but pick someone who'd actually know what they're doing." But Prongs had laughed at him for that. "I want you, Padfoot. Lily agrees. We both know that nobody would love him more than you."

Prongs had known he would not be perfect – and in the end, he was probably the best Harry could do under the circumstances. He could not go back to his aunt and uncle, he could not be left in charge of other muggles, and Prongs had been right, no other magic person would be more dedicated in making sure Harry was safe and happy. Sirius would make sure of that.

He smiled at Moony and Moony smiled back. 'Congratulations,' he said.

Sirius looked at Harry who had been watching the exchange worriedly. 'Can… can I still stay?' he asked. 'Did you really mean it?'

Sirius nodded. 'I meant it.'

Harry watched him carefully, obviously looking to see if he was being honest. Sirius tried to convey what he was meaning to say without words and in the process, his eyes began to water again.

Harry lifted a little hand and wiped some tears away. 'You're not sad,' he stated.

Sirius shook his head. 'No, I'm not sad.'

Harry continued to watch him. 'You're happy,' he concluded.

Sirius nodded. 'Very happy.'

'Because… because… why?'

'Because you're staying with me now and I'm very, very happy about that.' He pulled Harry close again and the child curled into his chest. This time, he did not cling to him.

Sirius looked to Moony. 'Will you stay?' he asked although he already knew the answer.

'Of course,' answered Moony. 'What would you do without me?' he added jokingly.

'I have no idea,' said Sirius earnestly. 'I think I'll need you. _We_ will need you.'

Moony nodded. 'I think I need you, too.'

Sirius agreed with that. "You've been lonely for a long time, haven't you?" was one of the questions he had asked Moony when he had first come to this house. Moony had nodded sadly. "And I should hate to be again," he had answered.

Also, they were beginning to get _extremely_ soppy…

'And I can really stay?' asked Harry.

Sirius chuckled. 'Yes, you can really stay. In fact, you have to, now, 'cause I'm not letting you go again.'

Harry buried his face in his chest again and Sirius tightened his hold for a moment.

'You were very brave, Harry,' he told him. 'Very, very brave.'

Harry did not react, which did not entirely surprise Sirius. He doubted that Mr and Mrs Dursley had ever given him any sort of compliment. Harry probably just did not know what to say, as his face remained hidden against the front of Sirius' shirt.

Sirius had seen the way those eyes had looked at him, in pure wonder and admiration, displaying long hidden fears and a desperate plea for protection and affection. He had taken on the task of not only raising a child but an abused child. There was not a single doubt in him that he had done the right thing but he did not know how to approach this. What would he need? Strict rules or freedom? A friend or a mentor in Sirius? Pampering or truth?

Besides, how would they live? The three of them could not completely hide away from the world until Harry was due to go to Hogwarts. Harry would need friends his own age, should spent what was left of his childhood happily.

'We need a plan,' he said to Moony. 'We have to decide what we want to do.'

'Do we need to decide tonight?' asked Moony mildly with a look at Harry. 'All of us are rather upset right now.'

Sirius nodded. Harry probably needed calm at the moment so he dropped the subject – for now. They sat, mostly in silence, each hanging on to their thoughts. Harry barely managed to swallow a bite of the sandwiches Moony made for them and instead remained safely enclosed in Sirius' arms. He had finally drifted off to sleep, obviously exhausted, but not without asking Sirius every few minutes whether he was still serious about letting him stay.

With Harry quietly snoring in his lap, Sirius finally decided to broach the subject of plans for the future. Moony noticed him trying to find and opening. 'Alright, what do you think we should do, Padfoot?'

Sirius had trouble picking one aspect to discuss first. 'It can't be just the three of us,' he said. 'We can't just all disappear. Besides, kids need other kids, don't they?'

Moony nodded. 'We probably shouldn't shout it from the rooftops that Harry is now living with you, though. But… well, of the people we know we can trust, of the Order, I can only think of one kid vaguely Harry's age.'

Neville. Moony had told him what had happened to Alice and Frank. Sirius had known that something had happened with them and that it had involved his most hated cousin but the full story had made him feel sick. Alice and Frank had been good people and friends of his. They had never been as close as the Marauders had been – Frank had been a year above them at school – but Lily and Alice had been sleeping in the same dorm at Hogwarts. They had also bonded over being pregnant during the war. Poor Neville…

Still, the child alone could not be their plan. He lived with his grandmother and Sirius had never been overly fond of her. Also, there was no guarantee that he and Harry would even get along. He sighed. 'It'll be muggle school, won't it?' he said to Moony. 'There's probably one in the village.'

Moony nodded. He looked more relaxed about this than Sirius felt. 'It'd be fine,' he tried to reassure him. 'Harry can blend in without any problems. We could make up some story – nobody around here knows us. He can stay your godson or you can pretend to be his biological father. You can say he's been living with you all along or the truth, that you've only just met. We'd have to discuss that in detail and ask Harry's opinion but I think the general idea is viable.'

'What if he doesn't want to go at all? I know that the kids at his old school bullied him.'

'You can decide that, Padfoot, not Harry. He's a kid, you're his guardian.'

Sirius looked down at the sleeping child in his arms. He knew that Moony had just named one of the things that he knew he was going to have problems with. Harry had been hurt so much – he did not think that he could force him. That would be a problem, of course. He would probably be too soft, too lenient. 'I think I'll need help with stuff like that,' he admitted.

Moony nodded severely. 'Not from me, I hope, Padfoot. I don't know, either.'

'You always know better than me, Moony.'

Moony gave him a sad smile. 'I try to remember what Lily would have done.'

Lily, yes, Lily… She would have known, of course. She had a sixth sense when it came to knowing what was right and wrong. 'I think it would be good if you could keep an eye on that,' he said. 'For Harry. Just… just tell me I'm being a thickheaded idiot or something. It's what Lily would have done…'

A small smile crept onto Moony's lips but his tone was serious. 'I'd do anything for Harry, you know that.'

'About that…' began Sirius. 'If… Just say that something happened to me. I'd like to make it so that he'd stay with you. I hate to think about it but I can't bear the thought over him ever going back to be with the muggles. And I know you'd be Prongs and Lily's choice, too.'

Moony shook his head. 'You can't do that, Sirius. The Ministry would never allow it.'

Sirius shrugged, biting back anger. He did not want to wake Harry. 'Screw the bloody Ministry,' he whispered. 'I'll tell Dumbledore, that ought to be enough. I want you to promise that you'd look out for him.'

'I'd do whatever I could, obviously, but it's not going to happen, Padfoot. He's had enough pain to last him a lifetime. From now on, he'll be fine.'

Sirius smiled sadly at that. He would like to believe that that was how the world worked but if he knew his luck, there was more trouble headed there way. At the moment, though, things were going all right.

He cleared his throat and changed the subject. 'What about stuff we need to buy? He'll need more clothes and toys and all sorts of stuff. And Dumbledore said…' Sirius did not want to think that he was buying Harry's affection.

Moony sighed deeply. 'That's a tough one. I know that Dumbledore had a point but I don't think you need to worry, at least not so far. Harry certainly does not seem to expect you to buy him things.'

'I… well, I would have preferred to give it to him as a bulk, like for Christmas, but that's too far off. We can't wait three months.'

Moony pondered silently. 'And if we do it in some kind of reward system?'

'I had thought of that – but it's stuff he needs, Moony, not luxuries. I don't want to make it seem like I'd deny him clothes. Besides, I don't think he'll misbehave. He's terrified that I'll send him back anyway. We won't need to use threats.'

'You're right, that wasn't a good idea.' He rubbed his face. 'This parent-stuff his hard, huh?'

Sirius chuckled. 'Yeah, tell me about it. I thought it was about making sure kids don't fall of broomsticks.'

They continued to discuss pros and cons of different plans for another few hours until Moony yawned loudly. 'Is that enough for today?' he asked. 'Because my head feels like someone played a rough game of Quidditch with it.'

Sirius shook his head. 'What are we going to do tomorrow? I'd love to let them stew but we ought to let the Dursleys know what's happening. We don't want the muggles to get suspicious. They might call those… those muggle-auror people to look for him.'

'Possibly.'

Sirius hesitated but Moony seemed to guess what he was going to ask.

'I'll go,' he offered. 'I know your temper. Best not take any risks.'

Sirius nodded. He would manage to stay calm somehow if he knew that Harry was at risk but Moony would do a better job of it, he knew that. 'Thank you,' he said. 'Now, I think it's time we went to bed.'

He watched Harry's relaxed face for a moment. When he got up, he did it slowly, careful not to wake Harry. He carried him upstairs and laid him on his bed without rousing him. He decided to leave him in his clothes, not wanting to intrude on his privacy. He pulled up the duvet, covering Harry to his chin, and kissed his forehead. 'Good night, Harry. I love you,' he whispered, quietly wondering whether he would be saying those words every day from now on.

Moony had been watching from the door, a smile on his lips. Sirius walked up to him and then turned around, leaning against the doorframe. They watched Harry sleep for a while. It was an odd sensation, knowing that he would be staying until he was all grown up, which seemed like a very long time away. The thought was both elating and terrifying. He could see the same emotions on Moony's face.

This, he realised with a start, had to be how it felt like to become a parent.

–oOo–

 _There we are._

 _I've got one question, not strictly relevant to the story but since "blood wards" cropped up, I was wondering whether the word "ward" is ever used in the books. I checked and I didn't find anything but I may easily have missed it. Is it just fanon? I mean, it is a really handy word but I've never used it, simply because I can't find it in a dictionary, so I don't really know all the connotations (I know what it means, obviously, some kind of magical protection around a house or something of the sort)._

 _Okay, that's it. Thanks for reading, everyone :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi :-)_

 _Here it is, chapter eight._

 _ **Guest** : I checked that scene (I assume you meant the one where Harry and Sirius are talking in front of the family tree?). At least in my version, there's no mention of either "wards" or "warding". Sirius says his "father put every security measure known to wizardkind" on the house and Dumbledore "added his protection". Still, it might be hidden away somewhere else ;-)  
I hope the reasons why Sirius is reluctant to confront the Dursleys becomes clearer in this chapter. Remus was not going to tell them that Harry would not come back to keep them from worrying. They might not care what happens to Harry but they would care what the neighbours would say if the child simply disappeared, right? They might alert the police simply to keep up appearances and to be off the hook. I'm sure they would not want everyone to think that a child that they are supposed to look after was kidnapped and they did nothing about it. Thank you for your review :-)_

 _A huge thank you to everyone else for your feedback :-) I always love to read what you think._

–oOo–

Sirius was woken early by a crash downstairs. His brain needed half a second to catch up with what had been happening. He jumped out of bed and sprinted down the stairs three at a time. He found Harry in the kitchen, green eyes staring up at him petrified, a pile of shards that had probably once been plates on the floor.

'Are you okay?' he panted.

Harry nodded, his lips tightly shut. Sirius exhaled in relief. He drew his wand and cleared up the mess before daring to step closer – he was barefoot. Harry retreated as he approached, eyes wide, still mortified. There were bacon and eggs on the kitchen surface next to the stove where butter was melting in a frying pan.

'Were you making breakfast?' Sirius asked, stunned.

Harry nodded again, this time looking at the ground, making himself as small as possible while still standing up. He was expecting to be told off – or worse. Sirius hated to see him like this, waiting for a blow. Those bloody muggles…

'That's very nice of you,' he said, keeping his tone light, hiding his anger. 'Come on, I'll give you a hand.' He moved aside the chair that Harry had pushed in front of the cabinets to reach the dishes and pulled out three new plates.

He handed the plates to Harry who took them, stunned. He hesitated for a moment and then carried them over to the table before returning for cutlery. Sirius swirled the fat around in the pan.

'Do you want to wake Moony?' he asked. 'We can eat together.'

Harry nodded again and hurried from the kitchen. Sirius deposited the bacon and the eggs into the pan and filled the kettle. It was almost boiling when Moony and Harry returned. 'Coffee?' he asked and got a nod in return. 'And Harry, what would you like? Hot chocolate?'

Harry nodded, still silent.

'Great. Could you fetch me the milk from the fridge, please?'

Harry obeyed while Sirius reached for another pot to heat the milk in. Harry also handed him the cocoa without prompting. How did he know where everything was? Sirius would have taken longer to find it and he had lived here a lot longer than Harry.

Moony sat down at the table and rubbed his eyes. It was not even seven o'clock yet.

Harry remained dutifully next to Sirius, waiting for further tasks. Wanting to make Harry feel useful, he had him carry Moony's coffee over with the reminder that it was hot and that he had to be careful. Harry did not seem to need the warning, though. Moony thanked him with a smile.

'Did you sleep well, Harry?' asked Moony.

Harry nodded again, seemingly still unwilling to speak. He seemed to be waiting for an explosion that Sirius knew would not come.

When they had all sat down, Sirius decided to cut to the chase. He needed to put Harry out of his misery. 'Harry, listen…' he began but Harry interrupted him.

'Sorry, Sir,' he squeaked, his voice high in panic. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break the plates and I swear I'll be good from now on and…'

'Harry!' Sirius cut across him. He did not want to hear the apology. 'Listen.'

Harry fell silent instantly, shrinking in his seat.

'You're not in trouble,' said Sirius, quieter now. 'I'm not angry with you. I know you didn't break the plates on purpose, did you?'

Harry shook his head.

'Well then, why could I be angry? You didn't do anything bad. On the contrary, you were doing a very nice thing, making breakfast for us.'

Harry stared at him in disbelief, astounded by this line of reasoning, but eventually seemed to decide to give Sirius the benefit of the doubt. He nodded and dropped his gaze to his food, starting to poke around in it with his fork.

Sirius decided to give him a break and instead turned to Moony. 'I don't really look old enough for people to call me "Sir", do I?' he asked. It had felt very wrong to be addressed like that by Harry and he hoped that he could keep it from happening again by making a joke of it.

Moony smiled but some tension remained in his face. He seemed to understand what Sirius was trying to do, however, and played along for Harry's sake. 'I hate to tell you, Padfoot, but you've gotten old.'

'Not that old!' complained Sirius, pretending to be offended. 'Moony, tell me I don't look that old!'

'You don't look that old,' repeated Moony tonelessly.

Sirius gave a satisfied huff and took a first bite of his toast, watching Harry from the corner of his eye. The boy was still poking around in his food but he seemed to have relaxed a little. Still, he would wait another few minutes before broaching the subject he had wanted to talk about.

Moony caught Sirius' gaze and nodded encouragingly. It was comforting to think that he did not reckon that Sirius had messed up too badly.

'Harry?' Sirius asked finally. 'Moony and me were talking last night. We agreed that we need some rules be we weren't too sure because we've never lived with an eight-year-old before. Do you think you could help us?'

He had decided on that when he had been lying awake in bed the night before. He was not planning to enforce them strictly but he wanted something he could actually work with. For the last few weeks, Sirius had been sleeping when he was tired and eating when he was hungry – that could not continue with Harry around. He would need to be at school on time.

'Rules?' asked Harry apprehensively.

'Like when you should be in bed,' suggested Sirius. So far, bedtime had always been a problem. Sirius doubted that Harry had gotten enough sleep during any of the nights he had spent here. 'What do you think would be a good bedtime?'

Harry blinked at him. 'Me? I get to decide?'

'As long as it's reasonable,' qualified Sirius. 'I think maybe one in the morning would be a little too late, don't you? When did you and your cousin usually go to bed?'

Harry's face became defensive at the mention of his cousin. 'At…' he began tentatively. 'Aunt Petunia sends me to my cupboard after dinner unless I have chores to do. Dudley watches the telly until half past eight or sometimes nine.'

Sirius' stomach churned at the mention of the cupboard but he decided not to address it just now, staying on topic instead. 'Well, then maybe we can make it so that at half past eight you get ready for bed. Would that be okay?'

Harry nodded instantly. 'I can also go to my room earlier so I don't bother you,' he suggested.

'This isn't about you bothering us,' said Sirius, biting back anger. 'This is so you get enough sleep.'

Harry's eyes fixated him again and Sirius could tell that he did not quite believe what he had said. He did not know how to change that. It seemed unlikely that further reassurances would help so maybe he would have to wait. Harry would have to get used to it at some point, right? He would have to realise sooner or later that Sirius and Moony were nothing like Vernon and Petunia Dursley.

Moony flicked his wand to summon a quill and a piece of parchment.

 _1\. Harry gets ready for bed at 8:30pm,_

he wrote down. Harry watched apprehensively.

'Good,' said Sirius. 'What else?'

Harry shrugged and looked down at his breakfast again, hiding his face.

'I know one,' said Moony and leaned over to whisper something in Harry's ear.

'I thought they are rules for me?' Harry asked, astounded.

'Rules for all of us,' Sirius clarified. 'So, what did Moony suggest?' He had not been able to hear.

Harry looked to Moony who nodded encouragingly. 'Padfoot has to make breakfast every Sunday,' he mumbled, repeating Moony's words.

Sirius laughed. 'Okay, if Moony makes breakfast every Saturday,' he retorted.

Moony laughed. 'Fair enough. Harry, do you agree?'

Harry nodded shyly.

 _2\. Remus makes breakfast on Saturdays_

 _3\. Sirius makes breakfast on Sundays_

'There we go, we've each got one now,' said Moony happily. They fell silent.

'Harry, look at me for a moment,' said Sirius.

Harry lifted his head obediently. He was still scared, Sirius could tell.

'I want you to tell me the truth, okay?'

Harry flinched and averted his eyes for a second but then nodded.

'What did your aunt and uncle do to punish you?' He knew that he was pushing, pushing him quite hard, but he wanted this over with. He simply could not bear the thought that Harry was afraid of him. The assumption was so ridiculous that Sirius would have laughed about were it not for the fact that it caused Harry so much pain.

Harry instantly looked away. He remained silent for a while but Sirius waited for him to speak. When he finally did, his voice was tiny. 'Shout at me. Hit me. Lock me in my cupboard. Not… not give me food.'

Sirius nodded to Remus who scribbled dutifully.

 _4\. Nobody shouts_

 _5\. Sirius and Remus never hit Harry_

 _6\. Sirius and Remus never lock Harry in_

 _7\. Harry will always have food when he is hungry_

Harry blinked at the list confusedly.

'Listen,' said Sirius, catching his gaze. 'I will never hurt you, do you understand? It's my job to protect you from being hurt.'

Apart from the fact that the notion of inflicting pain on Harry felt as wrong as anything could, he dared not even imagine what Prongs would do to him if did. He had a feeling that – dead or not – Lily would somehow manage to hex his balls off, and rightly so.

Harry looked down at his breakfast again, not answering. This seemed to be an even bigger problem than Sirius had anticipated.

'If you just believe one thing I say, let it be this – I will never, ever hurt you. I'll try not to shout at you but I don't think that I can promise that I never will, but I certainly know that I will never hit you. I'll swear it on your father's grave.'

Finally, Harry gave a short nod. It was not more than a little twitch of his head and he was still looking at his plate but it was enough for Sirius, at least for now.

'Let's finish that later,' he said to Moony who nodded his understanding and pushed the piece of parchment aside.

It had been a start, no more than that, but it was something. Assessing that this was as much as could be expected of this strategy for now, Sirius moved on.

'Harry, we were also wondering whether you might like to go to a different school that's closer to here,' Sirius told Harry. Sirius reckoned that this was the only way forward, making plans, long-term plans that involved Harry and would hopefully reassure him that he was here for good. It did not take a genius to realise that Harry was still dreading that Sirius would change his mind and send him back after all. 'You don't have to. If you want, you can stay at your old school but I think it would be nice to be able to walk there and you might get to know other children who live around here. What do you think?'

Harry considered his answer carefully. 'I wouldn't have to be at the same school as Dudley?'

'No, you can be at the nearest primary school. I think there's one down in the village, or if there isn't, in the next village. But it would be the same school all kids from around here go to.'

'And nobody would know me?'

Sirius could not tell whether his tone was apprehensive or hopeful. 'Nobody. But I'm sure you'd make friends quickly.'

Harry shrugged, pushing the last of his foot into his mouth, and swallowed. 'I think that'd be fine.'

Sirius considered to pry further but decided against it. He was already being quite demanding. 'Okay, very well then. I think we ought to get you enrolled today, okay? We'll have to take you out of your old school. We could do that after breakfast, right?' This question was aimed at Moony who nodded. 'Good. Harry, why don't you get changed?' Harry was still wearing his clothes from the day before.

Harry nodded silently.

'And take a shower, while you're at it,' added Moony. Sirius instantly felt guilty again, seeing as he had completely forgotten about that. 'Can you do that on your own?'

Harry nodded again, slid off his chair and left the kitchen. As soon as he was out of earshot, Sirius groaned and buried his face in his hands. 'Dammit, I could kill those bloody muggles. Did you hear him?'

'What you're doing is all the more important.'

'But how do we deal with this?'

Moony sighed. 'I'm sorry, Padfoot, but I think you probably have more experience in that area than me.'

Sirius shook his head. 'My father didn't start beating me properly until I was older. He's been hearing that stuff for all his life. They denied him food – no wonder he's so tiny. What would Prongs say, Moony?'

Moony remained silent for a minute. 'He would know it's not your fault. You were in Azkaban, Padfoot. What could you have done? And look at the difference you have made in his life in just a fortnight.'

Sirius concentrated on breathing. Moony had a point. He could not change the past – he could only try to be better from now on. That only marginally improved his mood, though. 'So what do I do?'

Moony shrugged. 'I'm no expert. I'd say reassure him. He'll thaw eventually – he already has in some respects. He hugs you. He comes to you for help. That's amazing, seeing as he hardly knows you. He knows that you're true to your word even if it'll take some time to convince him completely. And I'm pretty sure that he loves you.'

Sirius could only blink at this. 'Well, I… I think I'll go get dressed as well,' he said and fled the kitchen. He could not bear to cry in front of Moony again – he felt like he had done nothing but that for days. He bumped into Harry in the hall upstairs and without further ado hugged him tightly. 'I'm proud of you,' he told him.

Harry hugged him back.

'You're quiet today. I know everything is very confusing at the moment but it'll get better soon, I promise. We'll need to go see your old school and your new school before lunch but then we can spend all afternoon playing. Does that sound okay?'

'Yes,' muttered Harry.

'Good.'

By the time Sirius had had a shower and gotten dressed, Harry and Moony were playing Exploding Snap in the sitting room.

'Look at that,' said Moony when he entered. 'Finally he's ready. We were wondering whether you'd ever turn up again, weren't we, Harry?'

Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, which made Harry giggle, which in turn made Sirius smile. It was the first time Harry had laughed since the previous afternoon. It was so good to hear.

'We should apparate,' he said. 'We won't all fit on the bike.'

Harry looked less than thrilled but did not complain. They left the house and Sirius apparated them to a thicket of bushes a few dozen yards down the road from the school that he knew well from his week of watching Harry. It was a little past nine, school had just started and a few harassed looking parents were herding their kids into school while a larger number of adult left the building at a more leisurely pace.

'Can you take us to the Headmaster's office?' asked Sirius and Harry nodded, leading the way. He guided them into the school and along a few corridors that were plastered with pictures and other artwork, all obviously made by kids. There were pegs along the walls, bearing nametags. Sirius had never been in such a place.

As they rounded a corner, they suddenly found themselves mere yards away from Petunia Dursley who was talking to a secretary. The latter looked past her and her eyes found Harry. 'Well, Mrs Dursley, he looks quite healthy to me.' The secretary's office was a glass cube with an open window, overseeing the corridor. In the back, a door with a brass shield indicated the entrance to the Headmaster's domain.

Petunia whirled around and hastily retreated when her eyes found Sirius'. He had grabbed Harry's shoulder and squeezed it for support, taking a deep breath himself. If he hurt her, he would be arrested again and Harry would have to go back to her. He could not do that to him.

'Harry is in my charge now,' he told her.

Petunia nodded, pale faced. 'Take him,' she hissed in a defiant tone that did nothing to hide her fear. 'Pity you didn't do so years ago. Nothing but trouble, the freakish brat.'

Sirius felt fury boil up inside his chest but the fact that Harry was trembling distracted him. He turned him around and knelt down, finding his gaze. 'I love you, Harry,' he told him, speaking the first words he could think of to make him hurt less.

Meanwhile, Moony was advancing on Petunia. Sirius saw enough of him from the corner of his eye to know that he, too, was at the very end of his patience. An angry Remus was very rare and all the scarier for it.

'Lily loved you once, Petunia,' he told her, just the hint of a growl bleeding into his tone. 'I hate to think what she would say about you today. I hope that you are ashamed of yourself, and deeply so.'

Petunia apparently had no answer to that and remained silent.

Moony turned around to look at Harry whose gaze was still locked with Sirius'. His eyes seemed to drink in the sight of him.

'Do you want anything from your old house, Harry?' asked Moony.

Harry did not answer, probably distracted.

'Harry?' prompted Sirius gently. 'Is there something from your old house that you want?'

Harry shook his head.

Moony faced Petunia again. 'Then this is farewell, Petunia. I hope for your sake that we never meet again.'

Petunia huffed and rushed past them, around the corner, and disappeared.

'I love you, Harry,' repeated Sirius to the still silent child in front of him. Harry threw himself into his arms and Sirius grabbed hold of him. He was crying now. Sirius kissed his head. 'You shouldn't listen to her,' he implored. 'She doesn't understand. She is just jealous of how happy we can be together.' He knew that Petunias words would still hurt. They had hurt him, too.

He made his decision at that point, though. He would not show animosities towards Petunia and Vernon Dursley in front of Harry. He needed to be calm, to be safe. He wanted Harry to trust him and he would not achieve that by being rash and unreasonable. He could not expect Harry to confide in him if he got furious every time. He thought about the rules Moony had written down earlier. _No shouting_. That would include not swearing about Vernon and Petunia Dursley.

Instead, he would reassure Harry, would tell him that the Dursleys had been wrong but not that they had been evil, however true that may be. In time, Harry would hopefully come to realise just how despicably they had acted, once he had something to compare them two. Maybe then, Sirius could offer to go back and hex them senseless but for now Harry was more important. Revenge could come later.

'You'll be fine, Harry. I promise.'

Moony was now speaking to the secretary who had been watching the exchange in astonished silence. 'We would like to withdraw Harry from this school,' he told her, once more in his normal, calm voice.

She hesitated for a moment and then handed Moony some forms that he began to fill out while Sirius was still comforting Harry. He himself took comfort in the fact that this was definitely the last time that old bitch had hurt him.

'You don't ever have to come back,' he told him. 'We'll leave and you don't ever have to see any of them again.'

The whole thing was over rather quicker than it should have been with the aid of a little Confundus Charm. Sirius had to sign something, they were handed some paperwork and left the school in a hurry.

Sirius decided that it would be best to allow Harry some time to calm down before taking the next step. He knew better than to try enrolling a shaking and red-eyed child at a new primary school, especially if their story was going to be rather dodgy anyway. Instead, they returned home.

Sirius realised that he had tried to do too much. He should have stopped at making the list of rules and sending Moony to let the Dursleys know that Harry would not return to them. Dragging him to that school where his aunt had shouted at him had been a grave mistake.

It took Sirius hours of careful coaxing to get Harry to get out of his shell once more. It was only at lunch that he finally managed to make him laugh – it was only a small giggle but it was something. After they had their food, Sirius decided to go out into the garden once more. He did his best to make a fool of himself. It was a pity that his dog form was not available to him but revealing it now would do more harm than playing with a dog would make up for.

Harry remained rather timid all the way to the evening but the fear disappeared from his eyes. The intensity of the change in him had taken Sirius by surprise. He could only suppose that being confronted with the reality of the change had knocked Harry off his broom. Still, whatever it was, Sirius grudgingly accepted that he could do nothing but be kind to Harry in order to fix it, at least for now.

When the time came that had been set for Harry's bedtime, he went upstairs without so much as a prompt from Sirius or Moony to get ready for bed.

Sirius looked in on him a few minutes later, holding a storybook. Moony had been out earlier, looking around the village and shopping. He had returned with the information that there was a primary school about fifteen minutes on foot away from the house. He said that the village was pretty – Sirius had not been down himself yet but that would change tomorrow – and that the people had been kind. He had bought some books for Harry.

'Would you like a story?' he asked. Harry nodded. They sat parallel to the short side of the bed, Sirius' feet dangling off the side. Harry leaned against his shoulder as he read, listening carefully.

'We could make this one of the rules,' he suggested when he had finished the first chapter and was tucking Harry in. 'Me or Moony will read you a story if you are in bed on time. Would you like that?'

Harry nodded sleepily. 'I like you reading to me,' he mumbled, 'I like you, Sirius.'

Sirius smiled. 'I like you, too, Harry,' he said and kissed him on the forehead. 'And remember, if there's a problem, just come and get me, alright?'

Harry nodded again, his eyes closing. 'Thank you, Sirius,' he mumbled, already half-asleep.

'You're welcome.'

Downstairs in the sitting room, Moony was waiting with two glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey. Sirius took a big swig before talking. 'You said it'd get easier. I don't know about you but I found today more difficult than yesterday.'

'It was. Still, we made a big step. It's now official that he won't be returning to Little Whinging. He can start to forget now.'

'We're doing things too fast.'

'What's the alternative? You were right in keeping him here straight away. It would have been wrong to send him back there even for one day, our encounter this morning should have made that clear for all eternity. Still, Harry has a lot to get used to. In time, he will. You just need to be patient.'

'I've never been good at patience,' muttered Sirius.

'You can learn for Harry. You kept your anger in check this morning. I thought that was rather impressive. When she started talking, I expected to have to drag you off her.'

'You would have if it weren't for Harry. He needs me.'

Sirius wanted to hex them badly, but he had a lot to lose by doing so, the most delicate thing being Harry's trust. He might rejoice at revenge being taken in his name but there was also the risk that Sirius would appear threatening to him. What had happened this morning with the broken plates had told him that Harry was already afraid of him on some level already. He had no interest in reinforcing that.

He could of course sneak out and hex them without Harry even knowing about it but he could still get into serious trouble for that. Being arrested was not an option at the moment, not when he needed to be there for Harry. Also, he had no desire whatsoever to be locked up again, not ever. Maybe they could work something out in time – the Dursleys were not going anywhere.

'That's my point,' said Moony. 'You can be patient if Harry needs you to be.'

'I don't know what he needs, that's the problem.'

Moony sighed. 'He needs someone to show him that he is loved. You've done nothing but that all day.'

'He's hardly spoken all day.'

'He's overwhelmed and understandably so. You heard how that woman talked to him. I doubt that he can remember someone telling him that they love him.'

–oOo–

 _That's it, I hope you liked it :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	9. Chapter 9

_Hello!_

 _ **Guest**_ _: I had not thought about Sirius and Remus teaching Harry to swim. It's a good idea and maybe I'll come back to it later but at least not for quite a while yet. Thanks for the prompt, and your lovely review :-)_

 _Thanks, everyone, for being so very lovely. You always make my day, and here it is, the next chapter :-)_

–oOo–

Tuesday started a little later than Monday. When Sirius got up, Harry was in his room reading the book that Sirius had left on his nightstand the previous evening but jumped out of bed eagerly when Sirius asked him if he would help preparing breakfast. Sirius turned up the volume of the radio to maximum and started to sing along – admittedly quite badly, as he did not know any of the songs. Harry watched him in confusion for a minute or two but eventually started to grin at the performance.

Sirius had always had a knack for making people laugh but Harry was proving a challenge. This ate away at his ego and was particularly troubling because he felt that Harry ought to be the one person he should be able to cheer up. Still, it seemed that today was going better than yesterday so that was something.

When a bleary-eyed Moony shuffled into the room a little later, they both simply grinned and waved at him, any verbal communication barred by the noise level. The mood was better than it had been the previous day, over breakfast and while getting ready to leave the house. No broken plates, no fear in Harry's eyes.

They would be walking into the village and connect the trip to the school with getting to know their new hometown. That was all that Sirius had set as their objective for the day, seeing as he had tried to pile on far too much the day before. He was not going to make that mistake again.

Harry walked between Sirius and Moony, taking in his surroundings with interest. There was not much to be seen except fields and the occasional tree or other shrubbery.

'It's not very central,' Sirius admitted. 'Wizards like to keep their privacy so that the muggles don't notice any kind of magic that might be going on.'

Harry shrugged. 'I don't like Privet Drive. Everything looks just the same.'

Sirius chuckled at that. He agreed with the sentiment. 'So, do you think you'll be okay with going to the new school?' Harry had answered the question the previous morning but even then, he had been less than enthusiastic and yesterday's events might have changed things.

'Yeah,' said Harry, his voice perking up. 'Maybe I'll find someone to play with if Dudley doesn't beat them up for talking to me.'

'I'm sure you will,' said Sirius, once more deciding not to go into detail about way Harry had been treated. He knew that if he tried to reassure him, he would do nothing but upset Harry further. Once they had a routine going, once Harry was convinced that he was here to stay, he would try to make him open up about what had happened. For now, telling him that things would change in future would have to be enough – he could not do everything at once, no matter how badly he wanted to.

'Harry, do you remember when I was talking to Dumbledore? We were saying that we need to make sure that nobody finds us.' Harry had no idea why he needed to remain hidden and Sirius was planning not to tell him until he asked. The thought of telling the boy that Voldemort had tried to kill him and that this still put him in danger today was almost too horrible to contemplate. He would not lie about it, of course not – but he was not keen on telling him any sooner than was needed.

Harry nodded.

'Well, I was thinking that you could use a different last name at school so nobody knows who you really are. You could be called "Evans" instead of "Potter". That was what your Mum was called before she married your Dad. Do you think you could do that?'

Harry pondered this for a moment and then shrugged. 'That's okay, I think. I just have to remember not to forget.'

'That's good,' said Sirius relieved. It would save them quite a few Confundus Charms. While he doubted that any Death Eater would ever think to search the muggle education system for a Harry Potter, it was better to be safe than sorry. "Harry" was popular enough not to stand out. It would have been even safer to use just any surname but he thought that Harry might have fewer problems if he was connected to the name in a real way. The last thing Sirius wanted was for him to stop being a Potter.

He had been mulling it over and decided that they would stick to the truth about everything else. Harry needed time to acclimatise and he was pretty sure that he would show some odd behaviour beyond simply settling in at a new school. Anyone who talked to him for an extended period of time would come to the conclusion that there was something off about his home life so Sirius did not want to claim that he had been raising him all along. He had considered putting himself down as Harry biological father but even if that was only for the sake of the muggles, it felt like an insult to Prongs. Also, that seemed like a good strategy if he wanted Harry silent and withdrawn again – they were already moving at a terrifying speed.

As they entered the village, Moony quietly pointed out what he had so far found out about it. There were a handful of little shops along the main road and lining the market place in front of the church. They passed a café and a pub, too. Moony had been right. It was a nice place, quiet and probably a little boring. That was a good thing, though. After all those years in Azkaban, space to breathe was very welcome.

Harry had been hopping from one tile of pavement to the next, avoiding the cracks, but he froze when Moony announced that they were approaching the school. This building was older than the one that had housed his previous school. It lay silent at the moment as classes had started quite a while ago and all the pupils were inside. It was small, Sirius estimated less than half the size of South Whinging Primary, but the schoolyard covered easily three times as much area.

They entered and followed a little sign indicating the way to the Headmaster's office. Here, too, the halls were lined with artwork of dozens and dozens of kids. It was a decidedly friendly place but even so, the sound of their echoing steps in the empty halls gave Sirius had the familiar sensation of being in a place where he was not supposed to be. Harry tentatively reached for his hand and Sirius squeezed Harry's gently in return, very glad that he was actively seeking comfort.

They reached their destination, the secretary's office, and were instantly invited in when Sirius knocked. A middle-aged man with a kind, round face and messy, dirty blonde hair smiled at them. 'How may I help you?'

'We would like for young Harry here to attend this school,' explained Sirius, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.

The smile on the secretary's face widened. 'Please excuse me for one moment.' He got up to knock on a door leading off the room. He was called inside and Sirius could only hear muffled voices. It only took a few seconds for the man to re-emerge. 'Please, go on through.'

Sirius ushered Harry forwards but Moony remained where he was. 'I'll wait out here,' he explained.

Sirius frowned at him and shook his head. He assumed that Moony's reasoning would be along the lines of the fact that he had no connection to Harry other than being friends with Sirius. That did not entitle him to play a role in getting Harry enrolled at the school but he could still support Sirius. 'Come on. If you don't, what's the point of you tagging along in the first place?'

The Headmistress was a short and rather plump woman in her fifties. She wore bright red, round glasses and a matching necklace and bracelet. Her hair had once been dark brown but grey streaks ran through it now, and it had been tied into a loose bun. She wore a cardigan knitted out of thick, grey wool. She got up to greet them and offered her hand to Harry first. 'I'm Mrs April, the headmistress,' she said.

Harry shook her hand. 'I'm Harry P… Evans,' said Harry correcting himself. 'Nice to meet you, Ma'am.'

'Nice to meet you, Harry.' She turned to Sirius who shook her hand, too.

'Sirius Black,' he introduced himself. 'I'm Harry's godfather.'

'Nice to meet you, Mr Black.'

Moony shook her hand, too. 'Remus Lupin.' It was obvious that he was still reluctant to be in the room. Mrs April gave him a look but did not ask questions.

'Please, sit down,' she said instead and gestured for them to take a seat in front of her desk as she lowered herself back into her own chair. 'Now, why are you changing schools, Harry?'

Harry seemed a little struck at being asked a question and Sirius was, too. He had expected that all or at least all important questions would be addressed to him.

'I… I…' Harry stuttered, obviously confused as to what he was supposed to say. Sirius had the urge to intervene but noted that Mrs April was still watching Harry. She was not only after the answer but also wanted to see how Harry would react. He was squirming, looking to Sirius for directions. He shrugged and tried to smile encouragingly. 'This school is closer to where we live,' Harry said finally.

Mrs April smiled at him. 'You moved, did you?'

Harry nodded.

'What year are you in?'

'Year four.'

'Good.' She smiled again and turned to Sirius. 'When would you be looking for Harry to start?'

Sirius hesitated. He did not know when Harry would be ready to go to school.

'You will need to take him out of his old school first,' Mrs April helped him along.

'Yes, we did that yesterday.'

'Oh,' she said surprised. 'So this would be immediate?'

Sirius nodded. 'Sort of…'

'Usually, we receive a few weeks' or at least days' notice,' she said pointedly. 'It makes things easier. Why didn't you check with us when it was clear you were going to move?'

'It happened quite suddenly,' said Sirius truthfully. He did not want to go into detail. He was still not entirely sure what version of events he wanted known. He wanted to tell the truth, yes, but how much of it?

She sighed. 'Well, you're lucky. We still have capacities for year four. Three of the pupils left over the summer holidays, so the class is currently very small with only eighteen students.'

Sirius nodded and tried to look contrite but was not sure if he managed to pull it off. It was not an expression he used often, and his heart was not in it. It was after all not his fault that he had had no time to sort things out. Still, he did not want to get off to a bad start.

'We will need contact information for his old school so we can ask them to forward his file,' she said.

Moony cleared his throat and reached into his bag for said file.

Her eyes widened. 'You are not supposed to have that,' she told them with obvious anger but her expression smoothed out as soon as she flipped open the file and her eyes scanned the first page. There was a Confundus Charm on it to make her forget that she had not received the papers in the usual way, curtesy of Moony.

There were several reasons why Sirius had been keen to take the paperwork. Firstly, he had not wanted to let it lie around, protected only by muggle locks, and secondly, he would not have been able to enrol Harry with a false name if the schools would be in contact. This way, he had merely changed Harry's surname on paper and the deed was done. To the muggles, it would look as if Harry Potter had simply vanished, a welcome effect.

Harry frowned at her sudden change in attitude and looked at Moony questioningly. He shook his head gently, telling him not to ask just now.

While they sat in silence, the bell rang and around them, a low rumble of chairs being pushed back and then footsteps and kids' voices in the corridors began to swell up. It seemed to be break time.

'Well, this seems to be in order,' said Mrs April after a few moments. She frowned a few times as she read and Sirius knew why.

One of the teachers had noted that Harry was "disruptive on a regular basis", something that Sirius found very hard to imagine. So far, he had not witnessed Harry as much as rolling his eyes in terms of disrespect or disobedience. He had not asked Harry about it, though, and hoped that she would not, either.

'That would be all from me for now – unless you have questions?' she asked.

Sirius shook his head.

'Wonderful,' she gave them a smile. 'Keith will go over the details with you, and give you a few forms to sign. Harry can stay here after break and get settled in.'

Harry froze, panicked, his eyes finding Sirius in a silent plea for help.

'He won't start today,' said Sirius determinedly. He had told Harry that they would get him enrolled, not that he would have to go to class. He was not going to break his word.

Mrs April looked like she was about to argue but she, too, took note of Harry's expression. It was obvious that the suggestion filled him with horror. She sighed. 'This is exactly why we like to know in advance, so that this sort of thing does not happen,' she scolded Sirius. 'But I think we can make an exception.'

Harry relaxed into his seat.

'However,' she continued, 'I expect him tomorrow morning, on time.'

Sirius hesitated. He was not sure that Harry was ready yet. He had been toying with the idea of keeping him at home for another few days, to give him a chance to acclimatise.

'It is the law,' the headmistress insisted with a cool glance at Sirius. 'And waiting does not help,' she added more gently. 'Usually, it everything gets more difficult as time passes. If you keep him at home for an extended period of time, it will only mean that he has to readjust again when he finally does start school. I also doubt that he will be able to calm down if his first day at a new school is looming over his head.'

Sirius found himself agreeing with her reasoning. Once Harry went to school, all the new things were over with and he could start to settle in. Also, it was not as if there was the possibility of him attending his old school for another few days of weeks by means of making the transition less abrupt. Harry had already found himself in a completely different environment.

'Alright,' he gave in. 'Tomorrow. Is that okay, Harry?'

Harry nodded instantly and Sirius was unable to tell whether he meant it or was simply uttering what he thought Sirius wanted to hear. He knew that he would not get an honest answer out of him and vowed to see whether he was okay tomorrow morning. If he was not, he would simply keep him at home. What was that woman going to do about that? As a wizard, Harry was not required to attend a muggle school at all. He would not even be breaking the law.

'Good,' said Mrs April with a smile at Harry. She stood and they followed her lead. 'I shall fetch Mr Clark,' she told them as they once more entered the secretary's office. 'He is teaching year four. Harry, you can go meet your new classmates and see where your classroom is, just so you know what to expect tomorrow.'

She left the room and Keith, the secretary, opened a drawer to pull out a stack of paper. 'Take a seat.' He walked Sirius through the most important parts while Moony filled out a form with all of Harry's data. Sirius was just scribbling his name at the bottom of the last form when the door to the corridor opened once more and Mrs April returned with an elderly man whose eyes were magnified by his thick glasses. He did not look like much but Sirius knew better than to judge people by their appearance. He was very well spoken, as Sirius would find out in the next few minutes, and observant. The latter could be both a good and a bad thing.

Mr Clark smiled around the room and shook Sirius' hand first.

'Sirius Black, nice to meet you.'

'Likewise.' He turned to find Harry who had been sitting next to Sirius and listening quietly. He slid of his chair and took the hand that was offered to him. 'I'm Mr Clark. I'll be your form teacher here.'

'Nice to meet you, Sir. I'm Harry.'

'The pleasure is all mine, young man. Mrs April told me you will start tomorrow?'

Harry looked to Sirius for confirmation and then nodded.

Mr Clark then shook hands with Moony who had gotten up when he had entered. 'Remus Lupin,' he introduced himself.

Mr Clark nodded and smiled politely, even if a little puzzled. His eyes darted back to Sirius but he did not ask for the missing connection between Moony and Harry he was obviously wondering about. He turned his gaze back to Harry. 'If you like, I can show you around the playground and make sure that you know where you need to be tomorrow morning when the bell rings. You can also say hello to your new classmates while we're at it.'

Harry nodded again but took a step toward Sirius at the words.

'Your godfather can come along, of course,' Mr Clark added, recognising the signs.

Sirius nodded and looked to Keith. 'Were we finished?'

'Almost. I was going to walk you through the list of equipment Harry will need.'

'You can tell me,' offered Moony. 'I can meet you outside in a few minutes.'

Nobody argued with that and Sirius and Harry left the room after Mr Clark who checked his watch. 'There isn't much time so I'll only walk you through the most important things,' he told them. He showed them the schoolyard where several dozen kids were running around busily. Harry watched them apprehensively.

The bell rang and everyone started moving towards the school building again. Sirius, Harry and Mr Clark let most of them pass before following. They stopped in front of a bright red door with a poster to which the letters "YEAR 4" and a class photo had been stuck. Inside, things were moving but they quietened down when Mr Clark entered. 'Settle down, please,' he said. Kids moved to their seats and pulled out exercise books and pencils. It took a minute for the room to fall silent and by then, all eyes were on Harry and Sirius who were waiting in the doorway. Harry was tensing up and made a move as if to grab Sirius' hand but changed his mind. Sirius assumed he did not want to be seen holding hands. He placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezed it gently. Harry leaned into him.

'Now, before we begin, I would like to introduce you to Harry, who will be in our class from tomorrow. Say hello.'

'Hello, Harry,' the class chorused and a few children giggled uncomfortably.

'Hello,' mouthed Harry almost inaudibly.

'Harry, you will be sitting with Benjamin.' Mr Clark indicated to a dark haired boy who as of yet had a table to himself. He grinned self-consciously at Harry but did not seem displeased to have a new neighbour assigned to him. The corners of Harry's mouth twitched upwards almost unnoticeably as he smiled back.

For a moment, it seemed as though Mr Clark was going to address Harry again, probably to ask him to introduce himself with a bit more detail, but his pale face seemed to convince him otherwise. 'I think that will do for today,' he said to Sirius who found himself wholeheartedly agreeing. 'We shall see you tomorrow,' he said to Harry. 'We are looking forward to having you.'

They left, retracing their steps back to the main entrance. Outside, Moony was already waiting for them. 'So, do you like the school?' he asked Harry.

Harry nodded as a response. 'I like the playground. There're eight sets of swings.' He seemed genuinely relieved at the moment, almost at peace. He had relaxed the second they had stepped out of the building.

Moony smiled at him. 'So, I think we'll need to go into London for you shopping, Harry,' he said.

'Do you think we could do that today or will that be too much?' added Sirius. 'We can go home and play if that'd be better.' He was not going to be forced to send Harry to school tomorrow. He could go out shopping with him tomorrow and Harry could have his first day at school on Thursday. Sirius did not mind that.

Harry watched him carefully. It was strange to him that his opinion mattered, Sirius could tell. 'We can do whatever you want,' he gave the exact answer Sirius did not want to hear.

'No,' Sirius argued, trying not to sound confrontational, 'I'm asking if _you_ are okay with going shopping. I don't want you to feel… uncomfortable.' He could not think of a better word. As he spoke, he realised that he was pressuring Harry again, the exact thing that he had not wanted to do. Harry was not going to say that he wanted to go home, he realised that now, but he could not force him to do just that after Harry had said that he wanted to go out shopping, not if he wanted him to think that his words counted.

Harry shrugged. 'I'm fine.'

Sirius watched him, pondering his dilemma. He did look fine, calm but not scared. Moony shrugged at his questioning look and Sirius sighed. 'Alright, let's go shopping,' he declared, vowing to himself that he would stop talking himself into dead ends.

'Alright,' Moony jumped in. 'Harry, could you have a look at this list and tell me what you already have?'

Harry obediently consulted the sheet of paper that Moony handed him. 'I have most of the writing stuff,' he concluded. 'But some of it's broken because Dudley always kicks my bag around.'

'We'll have to get you new things, then,' said Sirius and decided there and then that he would simply buy everything on the list. Nothing that Harry already owned would be in good condition – he knew that without having to look at it.

They apparated to the alley opposite the Leaky Cauldron that was often used when wizards wanted to reach Diagon Alley via apparation. They did not acknowledge the presence of the pub, however, and instead headed down Tottenham Court Road and away from magic eyes.

To their surprise, Harry told them that he had never been in London before. He was as amazed by the big city as Sirius but he did know his way around muggle stores better than either adult. They spent the rest of them morning in the shops and then went for a lunch of fish and chips.

In addition to the new uniforms, Harry was also equipped with more everyday clothes. He was obviously not a fan of shopping – which eight year old boy was? – but he was on perfect behaviour, so much so that the shop assistant commented on it. He stared at Sirius with wide eyes when the cashier announced how much his new clothes had cost. When Sirius handed over the money without hesitation, he stammered his thanks, blushing.

'Harry, when you need something, I will buy it for you,' Sirius explained. 'That's what I'm here for… well, amongst other things.'

Moony chuckled at that but Harry blushed further. Sirius once more pretended not to notice. He was sticking with his hope that Harry would get used to things and really, he could not do more than tell and show him.

Moony quietly suggested offering to buy Harry some more books, to read himself as well as listening to at night. Sirius did so gladly and together they picked a whole stack of books. None of them involved the magical world but since there were so few witches and wizards, literature set in their reality was rather difficult to come by at any rate and while there were a good number of legends and fairy tales, there were no books for kids as such.

They stopped at a toyshop, too, where Sirius claimed that he wanted to buy some games for himself. He asked Harry's opinion, wondering whether he would get through with that. Harry was clever, after all. Still, it seemed that either Harry had not picked up on it or decided not to comment as they left the shop with a big bag of boardgames.

They returned home hungry and exhausted and after a hasty dinner of sandwiches, Harry climbed the stairs to get ready for bed without complaint even though it was still more than an hour before his bedtime. He fell asleep while Sirius was reading him a chapter of one of the new books.

Sirius collapsed on the sofa downstairs. 'Who'd've thought that buying stuff could be so exhausting,' he groaned, his eyes closed. He had assumed that accompanying Prongs to get dress robes for his wedding would be the most straining shopping tour he would ever have to endure.

Moony agreed with a yawn. 'It went well though, didn't it? The school seems decent enough and we have at least partially solved the problem of how to buy Harry what he needs.'

Sirius sat up straighter and rubbed his face. 'I suppose. The whole school thing is also more complicated than I anticipated. I assumed we'd just tell them that he'll attend that's it.'

Moony sighed. 'Muggles tend to be more involved in their kids' schooling,' he told him. 'Also, Hogwarts students are older. You've never been to any other school, have you?'

Sirius shook his head. 'I just hope he gets along with the other kids. He should, shouldn't he? He's a nice kid.'

'He'll be fine. I think all the bullying was because his cousin initiated it. Harry gets a clean slate and he knows it.'

'From your lips to Merlin's ears,' muttered Sirius, forcing his eyes to remain open. He was not yet done for the day.

–oOo–

 _Thanks ever so much for reading! If you've got anything to say, please leave a review. I always love to read them :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello :-)_

 _ **RRW**_ _: Thank you! I'm sorry but Neville won't be in this story. I'm thinking of doing a part two, jumping into the future and picking up where the Philosopher's Stone starts and Neville would definitely be in that one. I'm very sorry to disappoint you._

 _Thanks to everyone else, too! You're being so nice!_

-oOo-

The next morning, Harry was already up and dressed in his new uniform by the time Sirius' alarm rang. He was obviously very nervous, going from jumping up and down to biting his lower lip in suspense. Sirius tried to stay calm as he made breakfast for the three of them. Harry was so fidgety that he spilled his cup of cocoa. Sirius cleaned it up with his wand in a heartbeat and assured Harry that no harm had been done. He did not want to add another thing for Harry to worry about. Before setting off for the school, Sirius introduced Harry to his and Moony's little invention from the previous night.

Yesterday at the secretary's office, Sirius had been asked to leave a phone number in case there was an emergency and the school needed to contact him. Moony had cited their recent move as an excuse and Sirius told them that he had not had time to get one installed yet. He had left out that he would never get one. Muggle technology and magic did not mix but nonetheless, he wanted Harry to be able to contact him should the need arise.

He showed Harry two glass orbs, each about an inch in diameter and filled with water. He had placed a Protean Charm on them. 'If you break yours, mine will break, too,' he explained. He slipped one ball in his pocket and dropped the other into Harry's hand. 'Smash it,' he told him.

Harry eyed him suspiciously but then let the ball fall to the ground. As it splintered, a patch of cold water appeared on Sirius' trousers. Harry looked at it and then giggled. Sirius smiled at the display of cheekiness and quickly drew his wand to repair both orbs as well as dry his trousers.

'I will give one to you to take to school. The other will be in my pocket. If you need me, like when you're ill or something like that, you simply drop your ball and I will know to come and see you. Do you think that's a good idea?'

Harry nodded.

'It's like when you knock on my door at night. I don't mind coming and helping you. Okay?'

Harry nodded again. He carefully took the orb that Sirius handed back to him and placed it in his book bag. Sirius slipped his into his pocket again, making sure that Harry saw it disappear.

Sirius gave Harry a piggyback ride down into the village and made lots of stupid jokes, all in an attempt to get him to relax. It seemed to work at least a little. He elected Harry to "navigator" and made him point out where they needed to go. Harry did well, remembering the way correctly.

As the approached the school, Harry slid off Sirius' back but took the hand Sirius was offering him.

'Do you want me to go inside with you?' asked Sirius. All the other kids were being dropped off at the gate.

Harry nodded.

His new classroom was still empty except for Mr Clark and two girls who were busily whispering in a corner, giggling over what seemed to be a diary of some sort. Mr Clark greeted them with a smile.

Harry's seat was easy to find. On the table in front of it lay a large sheet of paper on which the words "Wellcome to year 4, Harry" followed by at least a dozen exclamation marks had been written in untidy, big letters. It had been decorated with a whole rainbow of crayons, glitter and stickers. It was obvious that a lot of effort had gone into it. Harry stared in awe.

'The pupils in after school club had the idea to make this for you, Harry,' explained Mr Clark.

Harry nodded silently but he seemed genuinely pleased.

'That's nice, huh?' asked Sirius as he set down Harry's book bag and the PE kit under the table. 'I think they are all looking forward to getting to know you.'

Harry was snapped out of his happier train of thought by the realisation that Sirius was starting to say goodbye. His expression became hard.

'You'll be fine, I know you will,' said Sirius, trying to soothe him. 'I'll be waiting right outside when you finish, alright? And if there's an emergency, you know how to contact me.'

Harry nodded, avoiding Sirius' gaze. Other children were filing into the classroom now, eyeing them curiously. Sirius pulled Harry into a brief hug. 'I'll see you later. I'm proud of you.'

Harry remained still in his arms but at least did not attempt to pull away. Sirius squeezed him tightly for a moment and let go. Harry's expression was unreadable, distant, his eyes avoiding Sirius and instead following the students that were now filling into the room.

Sirius hated to see him like this. This was something other than simply unwillingness to say goodbye – _that_ he felt, too, a little twinge in his chest that he did his best to ignore. It was as though Harry had shut down.

Sirius wondered what to do about this but quickly realised that now was neither the right place nor time to try to make Harry open up. The class was nearly full and he drew quite a few curious looks. He could not stay and taking Harry home again was not a solution – that would only mean facing the same problem tomorrow. No, he would have to leave, trusting that Harry would call if he needed him. This was only a school, after all. The kids seemed welcoming enough, and the teacher had been kind to Harry the day before. He would be fine here.

'I'll see you later,' he said, ruffling Harry's hair as a final gesture. He left the room, resisting the urge to turn around again.

Outside, he saw Benjamin, the boy whose table Harry would be sharing, being dropped off by what looked like his father. 'Be good,' he reminded the child as Sirius passed them. Sirius had not said anything of the sort to Harry. He wondered if he ever would, even if he was worried that Harry would get into trouble. It would feel very hypocritical.

He decided to walk home instead of apparating. He was in no hurry – on the contrary, he needed to be busy. Moony was out today, job hunting. He had apologised for it, saying that he really ought to be helping around the house, but Sirius had shaken his head. They could not both stay at home all day, not long term. They would drive each other up the walls.

He opened his front door with a sigh. He, too, would need to find himself a job eventually. He did not know what he wanted to do. Years ago, he had dreamt of being an auror – but no longer. He would never work for the Ministry, he was certain about that. Besides, Auror training was hard and the hours bad. No auror had ever worked part time – he could not possibly do it and look after Harry.

He had never had a plan for his life after Hogwarts. Back when he was seventeen, it had all been jokes about playing Quidditch for a living or being the first to train a dragon. Then, the war had taken over and fighting and his work for the Order had filled the days. He had never made plans for his life after Voldemort's defeat, at least not in detail. None of them had.

He did not know what he wanted to do. He wanted to help Moony, to make the world better for him but that was hardly a job. He supposed that he could be one of those people who did nothing but talk to others who were equally rich and important. He could do what his father had and bribe Ministry officials to get his way. He did not see much of a chance of that being successful – there was more money flowing for the opposite direction. Also, he knew that he would grow to hate himself.

He wanted to carry on Prongs' legacy and the biggest part of that was looking after Harry, raising him to be a good person. Admittedly, he was not raising him to be anyone in particular at the moment – he was mainly trying to get him through the day without crying. Harry would have first priority – that he knew for certain, whatever else he decided to do with his life.

After fixing himself a hasty lunch, he decided to visit Gringotts and have the goblins explain to him exactly how much money he had and if maybe there were a few people he could bug with that. His family's financials were in excellent condition, he already knew that. His father had never done much except make sure of it. Where his mother had been kept alive by spite, his father's heart had pumped nothing but gold through his veins.

Orion Black had spent many an hour instructing first both his sons and later only Regulus in the peculiarities of the world of magical finances. Whenever his father had asked, Sirius had pretended not to have remembered anything. Still, after the fourth time it was hard not to let it stick, which at least made it easier to give the wrong answers to every single question. His father had got fed up with him eventually.

The goblins were friendly to a patronising extend but Sirius knew to play along. "Better drink the piss of goblins than piss off goblins," had been the first thing his father had told him and Sirius knew better than to ignore that advice – in spite of its origin. They were sly and vindictive if angry – to be honest, also if not angry – and if one wanted to keep ones financials in good order, it was best not to ignite their wrath.

He also checked into Harry's financials, something that was within his authority since he was the boy's guardian. The accounts had not been touched for years and as long as there were no mayor bad investments – which he did not expect as Prongs and his dad had always been clever that way – he would leave them alone. He would pay for all of Harry's expenses with his own money. In nine years, when Harry came of age, he would have access to his full inheritance. It would never make up for the loss of his parents, of course, but it would let him lead a comfortable life. That was better than nothing.

While at the bank, he exchanged more galleons to pounds, wondering whether it might not be handy to get himself a muggle bank account, seeing as he would be spending most of his time in their world, at least for the foreseeable future. He had gotten a weird look yesterday when he had paid for Harry's school dinners in cash instead of with a cheque. He knew better than to mention those intentions to the goblins, of course. He stepped back out into the sunlight at half past two, still half an hour early to pick up Harry. Strolling back up Diagon Alley towards the Leaky Cauldron, his gaze fell on a window display of _Thrussel, Thrussel and Thurstan's Toyshop_.

A colony of miniature dragons were nesting on the ground and flying through the air. Occasionally, one would breathe out a few flames. Sirius recognised several different breeds, all of them incredibly detailed. They were quite remarkable pieces of magic. On the spur of the moment, he walked in and bought one, a Hebridian Black that curled up like a cat and remained motionless as Sirius slipped it into his pocket. It came with a rock, resembling its natural habitat, from which it could fly no further than three yards.

When he arrived at the school, he was still ten minutes early. He nodded a greeting to the waiting parents, almost exclusively mothers, but did not seek out a conversation. He was not in the mood to tell the whole, sad story of how Harry had come to live with him. Also, he was still not exactly sure which version he wanted out there.

The bell rang and after a minute or so, children started to spill from the school's exits. A group made their way to a bus parked by the gate while most immediately ran for the playground, others greeted their parents and a few started down the road in twos, threes and sometimes alone. Harry emerged together with Benjamin, the boy he shared a table with. As soon as he saw Sirius, he broke into a run to jump into Sirius' arms. Sirius caught him and swung him around a few times before setting him back down. Harry was beaming. 'You came back for me,' he noted.

'Of course. I said I would, didn't I?' said Sirius, swallowing the pain that welled up as he realised that Harry had really been worried about this. 'How was your day?'

Harry shrugged. 'Good.'

Sirius chuckled and picked up Harry's book bag that had been dropped to the ground as they said hello. They were being watched by quite a few bystanders, probably because they were strangers. 'Do you want to go home? Or you could play here for a bit with the other kids.'

'Go home,' said Harry decidedly. They set off down the road.

'So, tell me about your day. I want to know everything.'

'Everything?' asked Harry doubtfully.

'Yeah, I want to know.'

Harry shrugged at what he seemed to consider an odd request and started to talk. 'In the first lesson, Mr Clark made everyone say their name and what their favourite food is so that I can remember their names. I can't remember all of them yet but he said that's okay. Bennie said he likes chocolate the best. He's sitting next to me. Do you remember him?'

'Yes, I remember.'

'Mr Clark said that Bennie should show me around, like where the toilets are and how everything works at lunchtime.'

'That's handy. What did you have for lunch?'

'Fish fingers and mashed potatoes and peas.'

Sirius wondered which species of fish had fingers but he did not want to interrupt Harry to ask.

'After lunch, we did PE. We did running and jumping and throwing a ball as far as we could. I wasn't that good at the throwing but I did beat Rosie when we raced. Mrs Wilson said I was one of the fastest.'

'Congratulations. That's very good.'

Harry beamed at him at the praise.

'I want to show you something,' said Sirius when they got home. He ushered Harry to sit at the kitchen table pulled out the miniature dragon from his pocket. He set it on the table and observed with a smile how Harry's eyes widened in amazement was he watched the model get up, stretch, yawn (which came with spitting a little fire), and begin to stalk around on the table.

'It's a Hebridian Black – well, a model of one. They're one of the two native British dragon species.'

'There are real dragons?' asked Harry, his mouth standing open a little in awe.

'Yes, not many these days but they are kept in reservations. They are very dangerous.'

'And that one?' Harry indicated to the little dragon.

Sirius chuckled. 'It's just a toy. If you do this,' he grabbed the tip of the dragon's tail between his thumb and index finger, 'it goes to sleep.' The dragon curled up. 'You can nudge it and it'll wake up again.'

Harry carefully extended a finger and poked the dragon's tummy. It looked around, stretched its wings and took off, flying circles around the kitchen.

'Wow.'

Sirius smiled. He pulled out the little rock. 'It can only move when it's close to this,' he explained. 'That way, it can't fly off.'

Harry watched the dragon land on the tap and ran over to have a closer look. 'Do you need to feed it?' He extended a hand and the dragon climbed onto it.

'No, and you don't have to clean up after it, either. It's not really alive, it's just been very cleverly charmed to look like it.'

'It's brilliant. May I play with it some time?'

'You can always play with it – I got it for you. I thought you might like it.'

Harry stared at him and then the little dragon in his hand. 'Really?'

'Yes, really.'

After a moment's hesitation, Harry stepped forwards and hugged him tightly round the middle with one arm, the other extended to make sure the dragon was safe from being squished. Sirius hugged him back.

'Thank you, Sirius.'

'You're welcome, Harry.'

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with the dragon. Sirius was busy making dinner when Moony came home and Harry instantly ran to greet him. 'See what Sirius got me,' he said proudly, showing off his new toy.

Moony smiled appreciatively and nodded when Harry repeated everything that Sirius had told him about dragons. Admittedly, that was not much.

'You don't happen to have a copy of _Fantastic Beasts_ lying around, do you?' asked Sirius. Harry had been very keen on further information that Sirius had been unable to provide.

Moony smiled and went to fetch his battered copy, almost twenty years of age and frequently used. He showed Harry the right pages and left him to read in the sitting room while he joined Sirius in the kitchen. 'That seems to have hit the spot.'

Sirius chuckled happily. 'He won't shut up about it. How was it?'

'Good, I got the job.' He did not seem overly enthusiastic about it.

'What is it?'

'Working in a factory for some kind of electronic parts. I've got no idea what they do but I know I need to put ten in a box. There're about two dozen other people doing the same thing.'

'Sounds fascinating.'

Moony sighed. 'The pay's decent enough and it's not exactly hard work. Trust me, I've done a lot worse.'

'Moony, you've got nine NEWTs. You shouldn't be doing muggle jobs.'

'Find me a wizard who'll take me on and I'll stop. How about you, though? What did you get up to? I saw that you painted the windows.'

'That, and I went to Gringotts – which brings us back to the point. I have money, shitloads of it, and no right to it. It was accumulated by exploitation, blackmail, dodgy business deals and who knows what else, and it shouldn't even be mine. Now that it is, I'm going to spend it, preferably on something useful. I don't mind paying you, like for helping me renovate the house.'

'I couldn't live on your money, Sirius.'

'It's not _my_ money,' said Sirius more loudly. 'That's the point.'

Moony shook his head, his voice still level. 'I already live here without paying rent. That's as far as I can go.'

Sirius huffed but did not respond. Moony was stubborn, had always been.

'You're still no further?' asked Moony after a minute of silence.

Sirius sighed, his anger at his friend evaporating. 'No, not a step.'

'You could write to McGonagall and ask her to send you some pamphlets. If I remember correctly, you never did turn up at her office for career's counselling.'

Sirius laughed at the memory. Back then, he had told her in front of witnesses that he did not want to cause a conflict of interest when she would have to tell him that he would be best suited to take over for her. He had landed in detention for that but he liked to think that she had been secretly amused. 'Best not,' he said. 'I know that I don't want to work for them Ministry and that I have to have time to look after Harry. What does that leave me with?'

'More than me. Honestly, Padfoot, you're famous now. You won't have any problems finding a job.'

'I don't want just any job. I want to do something useful. I spent seven years achieving nothing and I'm not going to keep doing that.'

'You've got Harry now.'

'I know I do – but he'll be at school for six hours every day and I simply cannot sit around for that long. I _can't_ , Moony. I'll go mental, you know that.'

'Then you don't need a job. You need a purpose.'

'I _have_ a purpose. I've got Harry. I need something to pass the time. Something useful, something worthwhile…'

Moony sighed. 'I don't know, Padfoot. You're the one who has to sort that out, I can't really help you.'

-oOo-

 _That's it, another day finished :-)_

 _I've got a little self-promotion for those of you who speak German – probably not many but I think it's a few. I've translated a one-shot and I'm translating a longer fic from English to German. It really is a great story, otherwise I wouldn't bother with it, but sadly, hardly anyone's reading it. It would be brilliant if you could consider checking it out, or the original, which I fully recommend._

 _Thanks for reading and if you've got anything to say, please do! :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Hello :-)_

 _Sirius' job will sort itself out eventually, but not anytime soon. He'll need time to acclimatise, don't you think? And he's busy for now._

 _ **SirLoinSteak:** I've got no idea where that came from, some influence from pagers, I suppose. Sirius has an owl, he sent a letter to Remus, but I suppose other than Dumbledore, there's no one he's in contact with for now. Thank you so much! :-)_

 _ **JustAReader SO:** Dankeschön, ich werd' noch rot ;-)_

 _Thanks to everyone else as well! You always make my day!_

-oOo-

On Thursday, Harry was up with Moony whose shift started at six – at least, that was what Harry told him. They had let Sirius sleep and after Moony left, Harry had been reading. Sirius found him in the sitting room, wrapped in a blanket and an empty mug of hot chocolate next to him. He beamed at Sirius when he shuffled into the room.

'You could have woken me up. You didn't have to sit all by yourself.'

Harry just shrugged, and Sirius supposed that sitting on the sofa and drinking cocoa for an hour or two was nothing compared to being locked in a cupboard over night.

'I wanted to make you breakfast but Remus said I shouldn't,' Harry announced when Sirius started to fix himself some food.

'That's very nice of you but Moony's right. I don't like you cooking all by yourself. You could get hurt.'

'I've been making breakfast for years. I know what to do so I don't get hurt.'

Sirius sighed. He cringed at the thought of an even smaller Harry's hands within reach of flames and boiling water. Then again – supposing that Harry was telling the truth and that he had really been doing it for a while – it was only reasonable to assume that he knew what he was doing. Forbidding it would only seem to Harry like an attempt to baby him. On the other hand, Sirius did not want Harry to get the impression that he was expected to cook.

'I'll think about it, okay?' he promised Harry. 'It's just that I _hate_ the idea of you getting hurt.'

There was a hint of indignation on Harry's face as he nodded, probably because of the pride with which he had told Sirius that he was able to cook breakfast by himself. Still, he did not question Sirius.

Despite the very early start, Harry seemed in a relaxed mood as they walked to school, certainly a lot better than he had been yesterday. He had had a second breakfast with Sirius and when prompted seemed happy to tell Sirius what was expecting him at school that day.

As it was, Sirius was glad to hear him speak. He had been near silent on Monday, and on Tuesday and most of Wednesday Sirius had barely gotten a word out of him, certainly not without encouragement. This was a stark contrast to the weekend when he had been quite happy to talk and even joke. Sirius was still at a loss as to why that was. He had done his best not to behave differently and as far as he could tell, he had managed. Then again, maybe he was just worrying too much. Harry had every right to take some time to acclimatise.

When it came to saying goodbye, Harry became silent again. Sirius dropped him off at the gates this time, wanting to get this routine going as soon as possible. 'I'll be waiting right here this afternoon, okay?' he promised.

Harry nodded. He looked back at Sirius several times on his way into the school but fortunately, there was no sign of tears.

Again, Sirius spent the morning and early afternoon working on the house. He was making progress and calculated that the task ahead would occupy him for a few more weeks at most. Moony came back just as he was about to pick Harry up and promptly decided to accompany him.

Harry once more threw himself into Sirius' arms as he came running from the building. Sirius lifted him on his shoulders and Moony spent the way home quizzing Harry on all his different subjects. Sirius had trouble keeping up – Moony had a definite advantage what with having been to a muggle primary school – but he did his best to remember everything Harry told them.

Again, they were subject to a number of prying eyes that Sirius ignored. He was ready to admit that they would seem a rather odd group – seeing as they really _were_ a rather odd group. He did not know how much or what Harry had told the other kids. He supposed that their current situation would be quite hard for him to explain – Sirius would find himself struggling, too.

'More furniture for the sitting room,' he announced when they got home. That was the project of the afternoon. They already had a sofa, a couple of armchairs and a coffee table but they needed a few shelves and a rug – and maybe a few things in the direction of decorations although Sirius had to admit that those were not his strong suit.

They apparated to a furniture shop that Sirius and Moony and frequented before. They were relatively quick to pick what they needed. Lily would have spent hours comparing different kinds of bookshelves but Sirius simply did not have the patience and neither Moony nor Harry was intent on putting in the effort. So long as it physically fit into the room, it would do its purpose. Besides, they would be able to change colour and size with magic later on if they felt it was needed.

They found a secluded spot in the carpark to shrink the boxes and stow them in Sirius' pockets. Back at home, they got to work, covering the sitting room floor in boards and screws of varying sizes. Sirius was well acquainted with flat-pack furniture by now. It was annoyingly impossible to assemble with the help of magic, at least not in its entirety – too many little parts. It was however possible to screw in the screws with wands – or use permanent Sticking Charms instead.

'How long have you lived here?' asked Harry who had been given the task of sorting screws and pegs by size. He had once more been silent that afternoon except when asked a question.

Sirius was very glad to hear him speak. 'Less than three weeks,' he answered promptly.

'Where did you live before?'

'Nowhere, I… well, I was in prison before – I told you.'

Harry looked up at him. 'When did you get out of prison?'

'The day before we met. Friday afternoon.'

Harry stared, the answer obviously surprising him. 'You came to visit me the day after you got out of prison?'

Sirius shrugged apologetically. 'Well, I wanted to see you as soon as they let me out but I didn't know where you were so I had to talk to Dumbledore first. By the time we finished, it was late and I had to wait 'til the next day.' He had taken a room in a muggle hotel, deliberately avoiding everyone who might recognise him. He would have preferred spending the night outside in his animagus form – which he had done the night after – just to breathe the air and feel the freedom of being able to walk more than three steps in any direction. Still, he had decided that sleeping rough would not further his cause of making a good first impression on Harry – access to a shower was key.

Harry pondered this in silence and Sirius noticed him glancing surreptitiously at Moony who had been listening to the exchange in silence.

'I only saw Moony on Tuesday,' Sirius answered the question Harry had not asked.

Harry ducked his head guiltily for a moment and did not notice Moony smiling at him reassuringly. 'But… but Remus is your best friend,' he said.

Sirius chuckled at the surprise in his voice. 'But you're my godson, Harry.'

Harry had absolutely no reason whatsoever to be jealous. He nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground, and remained silent.

'You'll come first for me, Harry, always, alright?' He was sounding very soppy but he supposed that it was what Harry needed to hear – and it was the truth.

Harry's head lifted to stare at him for a few seconds before he lowered his gaze to his work once more. Sirius and Moony exchanged a look and watched silently as he extended a shaking hand to pick up a few more screws. There was a choked sob.

Sirius quickly set aside the board that had been resting on his lap and scooted over to Harry. He wasted no time to pull him into a hug. Harry let him, his body shaking. Like Sunday afternoon, he hid his face in Sirius' shirt. 'It's a lot to put up with at the moment, huh?' he muttered into his hair.

Harry just drew another ragged breath. He had not cried at all since Monday morning. Considering the strain he had been under, Sirius supposed that it was a surprise that he had lasted this long.

'I understand it's difficult, but it'll get easier with time, I know it will. And if there's anything I can do, or Moony and I can do to make things easier, just say the word, okay? We want to see you happy.'

'We do,' confirmed Moony. He had remained where he was but the pained look in his eyes told Sirius that he was unhappy about his inability to help. He supposed that simply watching was even worse than holding Harry – at least Sirius could tell himself that he was doing _something_.

'So…so…sorry,' sobbed Harry. Other than his uneven breathing and the tears, there was nothing to signal distress, no wailing, no weeping, no moaning.

Sirius remembered that Harry had screamed loud enough to alert the entire village when he had been little. Now, he was as quiet as he could be. Was that just a matter of age? No, he remembered Regulus bawling loud enough to make Kreacher cover his ears when he had been Harry age, maybe a little younger. He could only suppose that Harry had learned that nobody would come, even if he voiced his distress loudly. Bloody muggles… But he could not get angry, not when Harry was scared.

'Nothing to be sorry about, nothing at all. I'll always comfort you, and when you're feeling sad, I want you to come to me, alright? Don't be sorry.' He wondered whether he ought to keep talking, to make more promises to reassure Harry, but they might just overwhelm him further. He settled for silence and rocking him back and forth gently.

Moony scrambled to his feet and left the room to return a few minutes later with tea, a large mug of hot, deliciously smelling cocoa and a plate of biscuits. He settled himself on the ground again and set the tray down between them.

Harry lifted his head by a fraction, taking in what was happening.

'Chocolate helps against sadness,' explained Moony. 'Especially hot chocolate.'

Sirius chuckled. Moony and his chocolate…

Harry snivelled, wiping his face on his sleeve. 'I'm… I'm… not… not sad,' he said, his sobs less violent now.

'It helps against confused, too,' Moony assured him with a smile and handed him the mug. 'Careful, it's still hot.'

Harry took it from his, his hands shaking so much that Sirius reached out to steady them. Harry looked up at him in surprise at the movement and his gaze fell on the wet patch of tears and snot on Sirius' shirt. He flinched and the mug of chocolate would have gone flying had Sirius not held on. 'Sorry,' he whispered.

Sirius shook his head and smiled at him, setting down the mug again. 'It's fine. I can wash it.'

Harry did not look convinced.

'Harry, if I had not wanted you to cry on my shirt, I would not have let you cry on my shirt, okay? And I will never, ever be angry with you for crying.' Lily would have his head.

Harry began to tremble again and Sirius pulled him close. He felt useless. He had always been pants at comforting people.

'What do I do?' he asked Moony over Harry's head. He tried to put himself in Harry's shoes – he was alone, living with two men he barely knew, without contact to anybody he was familiar with. He had every reason to be intimidated.

Moony smiled at them sadly. 'You're good,' he told him.

Sirius glared at him. How could he be good when Harry was crying and there was nothing he could do about it?

Moony shook his head, apparently reading Sirius' thoughts on his face. 'He's crying because he can, Padfoot, because you care.'

Sirius stared at him for a moment, trying to comprehend. Where had he gotten that idea? Harry had cried when he had been sad, like in the graveyard, or when he had been scared of being sent back to the muggles.

But then… In the graveyard, he had only started to cry when Sirius had laid a hand on his shoulder. He had been sad, definitely, but…

He had not cried when his aunt had shouted at him, only after she had gone, when Sirius had held him. When he had dropped him off at school the day before, Harry had been worried that Sirius would not come back for him but he had not cried. Instead, he had done what Sirius could only describe as shutting down. That situation had to have been more distressing for him than Sirius telling him that he was important to him.

It seemed that Moony was right, as so often. 'I've got you,' he muttered to Harry. 'I've got you. You'll be okay, I'll look after you.'

Harry's fist tightened on the fabric of his shirt.

They remained like that for what felt like hours. Sirius was still unsure as to what it exactly he ought to be doing but he went for holding Harry and muttering quiet reassurances.

Eventually, Harry calmed down enough to drink his hot chocolate. He was still visibly shaken but his breathing normalised. He remained close to Sirius all afternoon, constantly in contact, be it sitting on his lap or leaning his head against his shoulder. He stayed almost entirely silent, however, and Sirius did not push. He did not seem like he could take pressure just now.

'Anything, Harry,' Sirius promised for the dozenth time that day as he tucked him in that night. Moony had already excused himself – he had another very early start tomorrow. 'Anything I can do for you, okay? You only need to tell me.'

Harry nodded silently. He had fallen asleep on Sirius' lap in the sitting room but he had woken when Sirius had carried him upstairs. Harry had been surprised enough by it that he was once more completely awake, enough so for Sirius to make him change into his pyjamas and brush his teeth. By now, his eyes were beginning to droop again even though he put up a valiant fight.

Sirius turned off the lights with a flick of his wand but remained perched on Harry's mattress. He would sit with him until sleep found him again.

A few silent minutes passed and finally, Harry began to speak. 'P…' he stuttered before his voice turned into a whimper. Sirius remained silent, leaving Harry to find his words in peace. 'P… Please may… please may I stay with you tonight?' he finally managed to utter.

'Of course,' answered Sirius, doing his best not to sound jubilant that Harry had actually asked for something but calm and reassuring. 'Come on.' He pulled away Harry's blanket and ushered him to his own room, a hand on his back. 'Give me five minutes to get ready, yeah?' he asked after making sure that Harry was safely tucked under the duvet.

When he came back, Harry's eyes were closed but they opened again as Sirius carefully lowered himself onto the bed. He made a move as if wanting to hug Sirius but seemed to change his mind. Sirius took the hint and pulled him close.

'Do you think you can sleep?'

Harry had tensed at first but quickly relaxed and snuggled into Sirius. 'Mhm,' he muttered. ''m really tired.'

'I gathered,' chuckled Sirius. He had already fallen asleep twice, after all.

'Mhm,' repeated Harry drowsily, relaxing further.

Sirius remained silent, letting Harry drift off once more. It was oddly calming to have a sleeping child in his arms, Sirius thought, as he, too, closed his eyes and sank into soothing darkness.

-oOo-

Sirius woke a few minutes before his alarm rang at eight the next morning, curtesy to what for him had been a very early night – it had been barely past ten o'clock. Harry was still asleep so Sirius decided to grant him another few minutes while he quietly grabbed some fresh clothes from his wardrobe and ventured to the bathroom for a shower.

He would have liked to wake Harry with breakfast ready but he did not know what Harry would want to eat. Besides, Harry would need the time to get ready. Returning to his bedroom, he was now faced with the conundrum of how to wake him. Calling his name? Or was that too formal? Kissing his head was one way – that was what Lily had used to do after naptime. That seemed a little too intimate, though. He settled for crouching next to the bed and rubbing Harry's shoulder gently. 'Harry?'

Harry blinked at him and after a moment's confusion, shot up into a sitting position. 'Sorry,' he burbled.

Sirius frowned. 'What on earth for?' Harry did not answer so Sirius moved on. 'Anyway, I just wanted to ask what you'd like for breakfast.'

'Anything's fine,' Harry assured him instantly.

Sirius nodded, deciding not to pressure him for an answer. 'Alright, I was going to make toast for myself. Is that okay for you, too?'

Harry nodded. 'I can make toast.'

'I'm sure,' he answered. 'How about you get washed and dressed and I get started on breakfast? I don't think we'll make it to school on time otherwise.'

Without another word, Harry scrambled off the bed and dashed into his bedroom.

Sirius knew then that today would be another difficult day. Why was that? He pondered this question as he descended the stairs and busied himself in the kitchen. He had been fine on the weekend, at least with Sirius. He had not shied away from every question, he had talked. He not been loud or boisterous but he had been content and happy. Was he regretting his decision to stay with Sirius? He could not possibly, could he? Whatever Sirius was doing wrong, it would not be worse than what the Dursleys had done to him.

'I'm sorry I made us late,' said Harry as he hurried into the kitchen a few minutes later.

'You didn't make us late,' argued Sirius, gesturing for him to sit down and help himself to some toast. 'Firstly, we're not late, and secondly, if we were, it would be my fault because I didn't wake you earlier.' He kept his tone light. The last thing he wanted was for Harry to think he was angry with him.

A day of handiwork was not complicated enough to distract Sirius from all the still unsolved mysteries buzzing around in his mind. He was restless and unable to concentrate. When Moony finally came back from work just after two o'clock, he was pacing up and down in the sitting room, running his hands through his hair with an increasing frequency.

'What do I do?' he asked as Moony trotted in. 'What do I do? I'm useless, Moony, bloody useless.'

'What happened?'

'You know what the first thing he said to me this morning was, just a second after he had woken up? "Sorry". Why would he do that? Why would he think he'd need to apologise to me? I'm doing it wrong, I know I am. He was fine a few days ago but I mucked it up somehow, and I don't know how but I'm doing something to him. He's in pain and scared, and I bloody hate every second of having to see that. Honestly, Moony, what am I doing? How could I ever think that I could do this? I…'

'Merlin, Padfoot, calm down,' intervened Moony, grabbing his arm and forcing him to sit down on the couch. 'Breathe, alright?'

Sirius fought the urge to get up and start moving again. He had to do something… 'You can talk. You saw him yesterday, he was in bloody tears all afternoon, and I don't care what you say, that's _not_ a good thing. And how am I supposed to be helping him when I don't even have a clue what's wrong with him?' He groaned and buried his face in his hands. 'It should have been you. I knew all along. I'm rubbish at being a parent but you actually understand him. And then there's me just blundering about. _Me_ – a _parent_. Honestly, Moony, if someone had said _that_ ten years ago, we'd have sent them straight to the Spell Damage Ward at St Mungo's. I don't know what Prongs was thin…'

'Bloody hell, Sirius,' interrupted Moony again. 'Stop panicking.'

'How am I supposed to stop? I can't stop. I can't change anything. It's not as if I can send Harry back – not that I'd ever want to – but I don't know what to do with him. I've got a kid now, Moony! I never even wanted kids but I want Harry now but I also want him to be happy and I can never be what he deserves becau…'

'Sirius, you need to stop talking and breathe,' said Moony in such a calm voice that Sirius had half a mind to thump him. How could he not understand how Sirius felt? How did he not get how urgent this was? 'You need to slow down, alright?'

…then again, he had a point. Panicking would not solve anything and he had less than an hour before he would have to pick up Harry. He could not show up at school in this state.

Taking deep breaths, Sirius tried to control himself. It worked, at least a little and at least for now.

'Finally,' said Moony. 'Alright, you listen to me, okay?'

Sirius rolled his eyes at him and Moony responded by smacking him on the back of the head. 'Ouch! Yes, I'm listening.'

'Good.' He cleared his throat. 'First of all, it's not anything you did that has upset Harry. He's not hurting more today than he was a week ago, and it's not you who's hurting them, it's his aunt and uncle. He didn't show you before…' he continued, raising his voice warningly as Sirius opened his mouth to interrupt. '… because he did not know you well enough. Honestly, do you think he'd go around flaunting his weaknesses to just anybody? Who else do you think he's opened up to like that?'

Sirius' mouth snapped shut and he had to think for a moment to formulate a reply. 'But… what did I do to make him do that? I already messed up, with the bloody ghost train and taking him back to Little Whinging and…'

'Secondly,' said Moony, 'however badly you think you mess up, to Harry you'll still be a thousand times better than what he's known so far. We didn't stop him from going on that ride and that was a mistake, but do you honestly think he's blaming us for that? What he remembers – and I'm willing to bet you – is that you took him out for the day, to a place that he chose and where he had hours of fun with you. Actually, knowing him he's probably blaming himself for reacting that way.'

'But…'

'Stuff goes wrong and I hate it just as much as you but beating yourself up about it won't solve anything, will it? And don't you think Prongs and Lily would have messed up occasionally?'

'Prongs wouldn't…' Sirius began to protest.

'Yes, he would,' insisted Moony. 'He would not have been a perfect father – a damn good one, yes, but not perfect. There's no such thing, Padfoot. And he would never have expected you to do anything but your best.'

'But evidently that's not enough,' Sirius shot back, ignoring the pit that opened in his stomach at those words. 'Moony, I… I'm not sure I can do this.'

Moony shook his head. 'Of course you're not sure. But you're still doing it, mate. I don't know how you can. I'd be scared stiff if I were you.'

'I _am_ scared!'

'But you're still doing it,' insisted Moony. 'When he was in danger, you protected him. When he was frightened, you reassured him. When he cried, you comforted him. So scared or not, you're doing a damn good job of it.'

Sirius took a moment to process that. The look on Moony's face told him that he had been sincere in what he had said. 'What…' he began but was not sure how that sentence had been supposed to end. 'I… Moony, what if I screw up?'

'You won't.'

'But I don't know anything about being a parent.'

'You already know more than you think, and you'll pick up on the rest eventually. Besides, do you really think it matters at the moment if Harry eats up his greens or goes to bed half an hour too late?'

Sirius shook his head. Moony was right, of course. All the things that Sirius imagined normal parents would struggle with – eating the right things, going to be on time, showing good manners – were no problem as of now. Harry was on perfect behaviour, he supposed, no disciplinary action needed.

'What does he need?' prompted Moony.

Sirius gave a little snort at being talked to like a child but still gave an answer. 'He needs to be able to trust us. He needs to feel safe. But… I don't know how… I mean, I know it'll take time, I do. Just… I want to speed it up. I don't want him to be scared of me, not ever.'

Moony sighed. 'I understand, and I want to help. At the moment, though, I can't think of anything else we can do. I think Harry will just have to get used to how things will run around here. That will take time, whatever you do.'

Sirius buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes.

'Padfoot?' asked Moony even more gently. 'Please make sure that _you_ are okay, too, yeah? You said to Harry – "whatever he needs" – so, the same for you. Whatever _you_ need, Padfoot, you only have to ask.'

Sirius nodded, his stomach once more heavy at the memory of suspecting Moony of being the spy. How could he ever have thought that? And what had he done to deserve a friend like him? 'I know. Thanks, Moony.'

-oOo-

 _There we are._

 _Sad news is that I'm back at uni now, so I'm going to be busy doing studying and stuff and updates will probably be a little less frequent… Sorry about that, but I've got no choice in the matter ;-)_

 _Anyway, as always, tell me what you think :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hello :-)_

 _There we go, the next chapter._

 _ **SirLoinSteak:**_ _Thank you! Holidays are coming up. Harry has lived in his room for barely a week so I don't think it needs redecorating just yet ;-) "Show and tell" as in bringing something to school? We never did that at my school. Is that still done in year 4? I assumed it was just younger kids. Thanks for your review!_

 _ **deant33:**_ _Thank you :-) Not at the moment, but maybe later. I'm still debating it._

 _ **Nanettez:**_ _I know the concept of what is called "Blood Wards" in fanon has a foundation in the book. I was asking whether the actual word "ward" was ever used by Rowling to describe such a thing. Thanks for your reviews! :-)_

 _ **Musicmaker101:**_ _I'm trying to stay clear of all mayor fanon clichés, so no Mind Healers, no "Blood Wards", no Lord Black, no Potter Manor, no constant puns on Sirius' name, no Harry becomes an animagus at the ripe old age of nine, no referring to Gryffindors as "Lions", no "Harry is secretly a bookworm and Ron was holding him back", etc… Sorry if that disappoints ;-) I think Sirius is not really the type who likes to be fussed over or appear weak in front of strangers. Also, I don't think that Harry would actually take well to being dragged to St Mungo's, a scary place at the best of times, I imagine, to talk to a complete stranger. He barely even trusts Sirius. That is, if a Mind Healer is your basic muggle therapist. If not, I don't really have a concept of how magic would play into that and I don't know enough about psychology to make something up. Thanks for you review! :-)_

 _Thanks to everyone else, too! I love to hear that you enjoy reading my story._

 _-oOo-_

They were not yet late to pick Harry up but kept walking at a swift pace in their way into the village. The exercise and cool air did their part to calm Sirius further – the panic was now little more than a swooping sensation in his stomach, not the suffocating weight pressing at him from all side it had been half an hour ago. Sirius nodded greetings to the people who blatantly stared at them as they waited by the school gate. Gazes were soon averted and Sirius snorted to Moony. They were not that strange, were they?

'Of course they wonder who we are and where we came from,' said Moony conciliatorily, guessing what he had been thinking. 'We showed up out of nowhere.'

'You'd think nothing more interesting is happening around here…'

'There probably isn't,' Moony reminded him with a little smile.

The bell rang, making the school buzz into action, and instead of answering, Sirius turned to the doors to watch out for Harry. The sight of him proved that Moony had definitely been right about one thing – Harry showed no signs of being angry or disappointed with Sirius. On the contrary, he was beaming at him.

Sirius hugged him tightly when he reached them, trying to vanquish the last bits of panic still residing in his chest. 'Are you alright?'

Harry smiled and nodded. 'I'm good. Thanks for picking me up.'

'Every day,' Sirius promised. 'Are we going home?'

Harry nodded eagerly and his eyes fixed on Moony for the first time. 'Hello, Remus.'

'Hello,' answered Moony, the hint of a smile twinkling in his eyes. 'How was your day?'

Harry shrugged. 'Okay.'

There was an edge to his voice that made Sirius suspect that he was unhappy about something. 'Did something go wrong?' he asked, keeping his tone light. They set off down the road and Harry took a while to answer. Sirius did not push him.

'I… I didn't do my homework yesterday and I thought Mr Clark would be angry but he wasn't. He said to do it over the weekend.'

Homework… Sirius had completely forgotten about that yesterday. Then again, he very much doubted that Harry had been in any condition to do it, even if he had remembered it. 'Alright, I think we can find time to do that,' he said. He had noted some apprehension in Harry's voice. 'We could do it first thing, get it out of the way. Is that okay?'

Harry nodded silently, and remained monosyllabic until they got home. He headed up the stairs to his room straightaway.

Sirius swore silently.

'Padfoot, it's fine. Would you really have made him do schoolwork yesterday?'

'No,' admitted Sirius, 'but maybe I could have done it for him, or at least written a note or something.'

'It's fine,' repeated Moony. 'He said the teacher was okay with it, so what does it matter?'

Sirius could not help but chuckle. 'Is there something wrong with my ears? Or did Prefect Moony just tell me that homework is unimportant?'

Moony shoved his shoulder. 'Careful there, or I might deduct points!' he warned.

Sirius laughed and they entered the kitchen where Moony set to fixing himself a sandwich. 'Did you eat?' he asked Sirius who shook his head. Moony sighed.

'Yeah, yeah,' said Sirius, raising his hands in defence. 'I couldn't work up an appetite.' He grabbed the Daily Prophet that had been sitting on the table and began to skim the pages. Moony joined him after a minute, placing a cup of tea in front of either of them. 'Cheers,' Sirius muttered distractedly, immersed in an account of the latest Holyhead Harpies game who had beaten the Chudley Cannons 520 to 20. He only looked up a few minutes later.

Moony had grabbed the part of the paper that Sirius had discarded and was reading, his brow furrowed. He seemed distracted enough, so after a moments' hesitation and a few calculation looks, Sirius risked snatching the other half of his sandwich. He had already sunken his teeth into it before Moony realised what had happened.

'Oi!'

Sirius grinned at him, leaning back, out of his friend's reach.

'Don't steal my food!' Moony complained indignantly although Sirius noted some amusement in his tone. Trying to nick food off one another was something the Marauders had spent countless hours on back at school. Back then, Sirius would never have managed to relieve Moony of his lunch by simply grabbing it.

'Then you should have watched it better,' he retorted through a mouthful of bread and cheese.

Moony shook his head exasperatedly and gave up.

Sirius made a point of chewing loudly for a minute. 'That's very nice,' he added.

'I'm glad you like it,' said Moony, not rising to the bait again.

Sirius chuckled to himself as he finished off his spoils. 'I'll take Harry up some biscuits,' he decided and emptied half a packet onto a plate. He left the rest with Moony, by way of compensation for the sandwich. He added a glass up milk and ascended the stairs.

'Yes?' answered Harry as soon as Sirius knocked on the door. He was sitting at his desk and had twisted in his chair to look at Sirius. 'I'm sorry, I'm not finished yet.'

'It's fine, I got you a snack.' Sirius placed the food on a free spot of the desk. 'What are you doing?'

'Roman numbers.' He tapped his pencil at the worksheet in front of him. Almost all the spaces for the answers were still blank and out of the ones that had been filled out, Sirius spotted several mistakes at first glance.

'Do you need help?' he asked. He did not think that this was good progress for the fifteen-odd minutes Harry had been up here.

Harry shook his head, a familiar fear in his wide eyes. 'I can do this,' he insisted.

Sirius sighed and nodded. 'Alright.' He did not want to upset him again. 'If you change your mind, just say the word.'

Harry nodded and Sirius ruffled his hair before leaving the room.

Harry did not come downstairs all afternoon and Sirius left him alone until it was time for dinner. When he came upstairs again, to fetch him this time, Harry was still hunched over his work. 'Tea's ready,' Sirius explained, stepping closer to have a look at what Harry had managed to work out.

He only managed a few steps until Harry had slipped off his chair and met him in the middle of the room. Sirius gathered that he was reluctant to let him approach his work, not wanting him to see. 'What's for dinner?' he asked in a rather obvious attempt to distract Sirius.

Sirius sighed and gave in. 'Fish pie. Do you like that?' He turned around and they stepped back out into the hall.

Harry nodded, relieved. 'Did you make it?'

Sirius chuckled. 'No, don't worry, it was mainly Moony.'

'I didn't mean that!' Harry said, horrified.

'No? You have every reason to. I would not want to eat a fish pie made by me…'

Harry did not laugh and Sirius knew that they were in for more silence during dinner. He was right. The best thing that could be said was that Harry polished of every last bit of his food.

'Have you finished your homework?' Sirius asked when he pushed his empty plate away. He already knew the answer.

Harry shook his head. 'I'll go upstairs and keep trying,' he said, his voice shaking a little.

'Fetch it,' Sirius insisted. 'We'll try together.'

'You don't have to. I'm sure I can work it out if I try a little longer.' He sounded almost pleading.

Sirius shook his head, feeling horrible that he was forcing Harry to do something he so obviously did not want. Still, it was better than the alternative. He had let Harry work at it on his own for hours now. If nothing had come off Harry's efforts so far, there was very little hope of him accomplishing it now. Sirius was not going to let him agonise over this any longer.

Harry slumped out of the kitchen with his head bowed. He returned a minute later with an exercise book. 'I'm sorry. I really tried…'

'I know,' said Sirius, motioning for him to sit down. 'I'm not angry. I want you to let me help you.' He drew up a chair for himself. Since he had last seen the sheet, more answers had been added, but all but a handful had been crossed out again or erased. Harry really had been working hard but with very meagre results. 'So what do you need to do?'

'I… I need to put numbers in roman num… numb… _numerals_. And the other way around.'

Sirius nodded and launched into an explanation. Harry's eyes were wide as he listened. 'Do you understand that?' ended Sirius.

Harry nodded.

'Alright. So, what's fourteen in roman numerals?'

Harry fixed his eyes on the notes in front of him and remained silent for a while. 'I…' he began. 'I… X… V?'

Sirius shook his head regretfully and Harry dropped his gaze back onto the paper. The hand holding the pencil was shaking.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered.

'It's fine,' Sirius assured him. 'We'll just…'

Before he could start over, he was interrupted by Moony clearing his throat quietly. He had been sitting, reading or pretending to read the paper. 'Do you mind?'

Sirius shook his head and Moony scooted closer, taking Harry's other side. He began to talk and it took only seconds for Harry to be immersed in his explanations.

Sirius watched them for a bit and then decided that he was not needed. He got up and started tidying the kitchen, washing the dishes and putting them away.

'There you go,' said Moony finally, as Harry scribble the final number at the bottom of the page.

Harry stared at his completed work in astonishment. It was understandable. He had spent several hours fruitlessly brooding over it and now under Moony's watchful eye he had finished it in less than twenty minutes. Sirius noticed him twitch towards Moony, as if he had wanted to hug him but thought better of it.

He walked over and leaned down to whisper in his ear. 'I'm sure Moony wouldn't mind.' Harry stared at him with big eyes before looking to Moony who could not have heard Sirius' words. 'Only if you wanted to, of course,' Sirius added quietly.

Harry slid of his chair hesitantly, watching for Moony's reaction. He kept smiling at him fondly. Harry finally stepped up to him and slung his arms around his neck. Moony was obviously taken aback for a second but then he pulled Harry up onto his lap, his eyes shining happily.

'Thank you, Remus,' whispered Harry, carefully leaning against his chest.

Moony rubbed his back. 'Oh, you're very welcome, Harry.' He was visibly touched by Harry's affection. That did not come as a surprise to Sirius. Most people avoided being in the same room with Moony, not to mention engaging in close physical contact.

Harry yawned, relaxing for the first time since he had come home from school. Moony's eyes found Sirius who recognised the silent question. "What am I supposed to do?" He could not help but chuckle at that a little – it was kind of funny when it was happening to someone else. He knew that Moony was doing fine. Harry wanted a cuddle and he was getting a cuddle.

'Harry, can you promise me something?' Sirius asked Harry as he tucked him in that night after reading him a story. Harry's eyelids had started to droop almost as soon as he had curled up on Moony's lap and after watching that with increasing amusement for half an hour, Sirius had decided that it was time for him to go to bed. Now, he sat on the edge of Harry's mattress, looking down at the child.

Harry nodded, a hint of apprehension on his sleepy face.

'Next time when you need help, please come to me or Moony sooner, yeah?'

Harry flinched and remained silent for a minute. 'I… I want to be good for you,' he admitted finally.

'Good?'

'Yeah, I… You…' He struggled for words. 'I want to be _good_.'

Sirius understood and shook his head. 'Listen, you are good. You're more wonderful than I ever imagined you could be, okay?'

Harry's eyes filled with tears and he shook his head, averting his gaze, but since he was lying down, he did not have many options except to look up at Sirius. 'I… I said I wanted to be good and then I wasn't because I dropped the plates and I knocked over my mug and I didn't do my homework when I said I wanted to be good and…'

'Shh,' Sirius interrupted him gently, reaching out to stroke his head. 'I could never be angry with you about any of that and I'm not disappointed, either. Even if you spilt your chocolate every day, that wouldn't make me want you any less.'

Harry blinked and the first tears ran down his cheeks. Sirius reached out to pull him into his lap, keeping him wrapped in his blanket like in a cocoon.

'I don't need you to be perfect, Harry. I want you to be happy.'

'But I _want_ to be… for you, because you're being nice to me, too.'

Sirius sighed. He could probably understand Harry better than the child imagined. He desperately wanted to be a good parent to Harry, preferably as good as Prongs and Lily would have been. The difference was that Harry could not exactly mess up while Sirius could. If he made mistakes, he could do serious damage.

'I wanted to help you with your homework,' he reminded Harry. 'I wanted to explain it so that you would understand but I couldn't.' This was the easiest example that came to mind – he could have reminded him of the ghost train disaster or even the fact that he had not yet revealed his animagus form to Harry. The longer he went without telling, the worse he felt about it, but he was yet to find the right moment to breach the subject.

'Sorry,' muttered Harry.

'It's not your fault. I think I'm just pants at explaining maths.' He knew that this would have upset him had Moony not been around to step in. He never wanted to see Harry in a situation that he was unable to help him with. 'Are you upset with me about that?'

Harry shook his head.

'Then why would I be upset with you? You tried and you did your best, just like I did. I think it's the same thing, isn't it?'

Harry sniffed and shrugged but seemed at least a little comforted by Sirius' words. 'I promise,' he whispered.

'Good,' Sirius said with a satisfied smile. 'Thank you, Harry.'

-oOo-

After the debacle of the previous week, Sirius suggested a visit to the sea as their daytrip that Saturday.

Sirius went out of his way in order to cheer Harry up and to his great relief, his efforts seemed to bear fruits. The start was a little bumpy but as soon as they arrived at the beach, Harry seemed to forget to be silent and watchful. He relaxed and the next few joyful hours were spent building sandcastles and throwing stones into the water – it was too cold for swimming.

The sun shone brightly but its rays were no longer able to win against the unfriendly breeze now that they were nearing mid-October. Moony brought a camera and took lots of pictures in a first attempt at righting the circumstance that there were no pictures of Harry past the age of one. Sirius even got Harry to pull faces into the camera with him – a great accomplishment, he found, and a far cry from the way Harry had been when they had left the house that morning.

As the day drew to a close, they sat on the beach and watched the sun set over the ocean. They were huddled together, Harry in the middle, in an effort to protect him from the increasingly cold wind. Sirius and Moony had each slung an arm around the child who leaned into Sirius.

The sky was glowing pink and orange, the shine reflected in the waves below. Sirius' eyes drank in the spectacle. He felt the wind in his hair and spray on his cheeks, tasted the salt on his lips. The sand was soft underneath his free palm. Harry moved gently and regularly as he breathed. Moony's arm lay warm and solid against his around Harry's shoulders. His entire body seemed to be tingling with all the different sensations.

There had been none of this in Azkaban. The sun very rarely shone there – the mist the dementors brought with them made sure of that. He could not remember ever seeing anything colourful in there... It was grey, everything had been grey. Cold and hard and numb, that was how he remembered it. He shuddered involuntarily, drawing himself back to the present.

Harry looked up to him, startled by the movement. 'Are you okay?' he asked.

'Yeah,' Sirius heard himself saying. He thought for a few moments, looking out towards the glowing sun. There was nothing keeping him from watching it set every day. He took a deep breath of salty, cool air. He was free. 'In fact,' he added. 'I think I'm a lot better than okay now.' He looked down at Harry who was thoughtfully staring out to sea, too. 'And you, Harry?' he asked.

Harry took his time to answer. When he did, his voice was quiet and his words well chosen. 'Today was very nice.' There had to be some meaning beyond the obvious in those words, something Harry could not phrase but after spending a few moments wondering about what it might have been, Sirius gave up and instead focussed once more on the spectacle in the sky before him.

-oOo-

Sunday started out quietly. Sirius made breakfast – obeying the rules. Not that he had much of a choice in the matter – Moony had been working the night shift and had collapsed into bed when he got home just after six.

"This is ridiculous!" Sirius had complained when Moony had pinned his shift schedule to the fridge Thursday night.

Moony had shrugged. "It's the best that could have happened, actually. I've got all of Saturday off."

Sirius knew that he had a point but he still thought that Moony was stupid for taking the job at all. Money or not, there were better things that Moony could be doing with his time.

Harry had woken up in a good mood – and more importantly, he seemed to have decided to talk today, even without Sirius making a fool of himself in order to cheer him up. Over breakfast, they discussed what they had most liked about their trip the day before. Harry had never been to see the sea before and was still awed by the experience. He had collected pockets full of seashells and pretty stones that he was sorting on the table by size and colour. Sirius was helping where he could, Harry's happy eyes making up for the fact that there was sand on his bacon.

Their peaceful conversation was interrupted by an owl from Dumbledore, telling them that he would come by before noon to set up protective enchantments. Sirius had already cast a few basic ones when he had moved in but those were intended to keep wizards from accidentally happening on the house rather than warding off a planned attack – not that he was expecting any. Their anonymity was and would continue to be their most effective defence.

Harry was less than thrilled at the prospect of a visit from Dumbledore. Sirius could not blame him for that, given the nature of their previous encounter, but he still disliked seeing it. 'He's a good man, Harry,' he told him. 'He means you no harm.'

Sirius had no doubt that Dumbledore's intentions had always been admirable – it was just the practical part that in Harry's case had gone quite disastrously wrong. Sirius was angry about that, especially in moments like these when Harry crouched down in his chair, his face becoming blank. Yes, it had been the muggles who had hurt Harry – but it had been Dumbledore who had let them.

Still, Sirius had no intention of confronting the old man today. He did not want to lose his temper with Harry around. Besides, he needed Dumbledore's help and he believed, for what it was worth, that Dumbledore was sincerely sorry about what had transpired at Privet Drive.

'What's he gonna do?' asked Harry, taking some comfort at Sirius' words even though a little apprehension remained.

'He's going to set up enchantments to protect the house,' explained Sirius. 'He's the most powerful wizard in the country, so his spells will be stronger than mine.' He did not say that he was still suspicious about how effective those could be. After all, James and Lily had been protected to the best of Dumbledore' ability and they had been murdered.

'He's more powerful than you?' said Harry, not asking the question that Sirius had been dreading. Why were protective enchantments needed in the first place? He did not want to answer that one yet.

'He is.'

This did nothing to appease Harry, however. He remained edgy and clung to Sirius' hand when Dumbledore stepped out of the fireplace around eleven o'clock. 'Albus,' Sirius greeted him with a nod.

The old man smiled at them. 'Sirius. Young Harry.'

'Can I offer you a cup of tea?'

'No, thank you, my boy. I shall get cracking, as they say.'

Sirius nodded, following the headmaster outside.

'Is it only the two of you today?'

'Remus is upstairs, sleeping. Do you need him?'

Dumbledore shook his head. 'No, I do not require his presence. The fact is that whoever is not within the boundaries of my spells will need to be granted access afterwards. With him inside the house, you will be saved the effort.'

Sirius watched for the best part of an hour as Dumbledore walked along the borders of their garden, muttering spells and drawing runes into the mud with his wand. Sirius understood some of what he was doing but by far not all. He supposed that Moony would have, having studied both Arithmancy and Ancient Runes at school. Sirius had suggested to Harry, who had to be bored out of his mind, to go back inside to play or read but the boy remained where he was, clutching Sirius' hand tightly. Whatever that was about, Sirius let him and did not question the behaviour again.

Dumbledore was visibly strained when he finished, which was not surprising – at times, Sirius had felt magic crackling around them. That would take a bite even out of a wizard like Dumbledore.

'Some tea,' Sirius decided. 'And a snack.' That seemed a reasonable price to pay for the acquirement of protection this powerful. There were others able to set up something comparable, but it came at the cost of a lot of gold and would not be completed nearly as discretely.

Dumbledore accepted the offer gladly although Harry seemed reluctant to keep the old man around any longer than necessary. He did not like him and Sirius detected a trace of fear in his eyes. Dumbledore seemed to notice, too, as he did not crowd Harry. In fact, he had largely ignored him since saying hello.

'Will you help me?' Sirius asked Harry when they entered the kitchen and Dumbledore sank into a chair near the table.

Harry nodded instantly.

'Let's make some sandwiches.'

Harry turned to fetch plates and ingredients as Sirius filled the kettle and set it to boil. Dumbledore watched them surreptitiously over the Sunday Prophet that he had picked up from the table, whistling to himself, but not so surreptitiously that Sirius did not notice. Apparently, so did Harry as he kept shooting their guest cautious glances. He was making sure to stay close to Sirius, out of reach of the old man.

'How are you settling in?' asked Dumbledore as they all started on their sandwiches, looking at Sirius who had pulled a still edgy Harry into his lap after he had refused to touch his food. The gesture seemed to have reassured him, though, as he was now nibbling at his sandwich.

'We're still getting used to things but overall it's going very well,' answered Sirius. He was not sure how he could sum up his experience of being a parent thus far, certainly not with Harry listening. It was both terrifying and elating. 'We took a trip to the sea yesterday, didn't we, Harry?'

Harry nodded mutely, resisting Sirius' attempt to get him to speak.

'I am very glad to hear things are going well,' said Dumbledore. 'I dare say the both of you deserve some joyful times.'

'The three of us,' corrected Sirius.

'Of course,' said Dumbledore, smiling sadly. 'Mr Lupin has always had a harder lot in life than he should have.'

Sirius agreed with that assessment wholeheartedly. 'He has agreed to stay indefinitely.'

'It is good to hear that he has at least one of his old friends back.'

'So am I.'

'Yes, I would think so,' mused Dumbledore, his blue eyes sparkling. 'I should think the three of you will benefit from one another immensely.'

Sirius nodded. 'We all need one another, don't we, Harry?'

Harry had been following the exchange and nodded, too. 'Remus helped me with my homework,' he said, surprising Sirius. This was the first time he had spoken since Dumbledore had arrived. 'And he gave me a book about dragons.'

Dumbledore nodded appreciatively, his eyes fixing on Harry who instantly seemed to regret having drawn his attention to himself. He shrank into Sirius' chest. 'Mr Lupin has always had a good instinct for what people need in him. I am certain that your mother and father would very much delight at your friendship…'

Harry remained silent but relaxed when Sirius rubbed his back.

'… and Lily in particular would have been overjoyed to hear that he encouraged you to embrace your studious side,' Dumbledore ended with a smile.

Dumbledore excused himself soon after that, claiming that he had things to do at school. Sirius was not sure whether this was true or whether he simply wanted to put Harry out of his misery, but either way, he did not mind.

'Give my best to Hogwarts,' said Sirius with a wistful smile as they were standing by the fireplace, bidding their guest goodbye. 'Hagrid, Min- Professor McGonagall, and Flitwick, too.'

Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling at Sirius' slip. 'I dare say they will be pleased to hear that. I can assure you that they remember you very fondly.'

'They do?' asked Sirius doubtfully. 'I always thought the teachers would have a party the day that James and me graduated…'

'Oh, that they did,' said Dumbledore, chuckling. 'But they also had one the day you were proven innocent.'

Sirius did not quite know what to answer to that but he did not need to think of anything. With one last wink at Harry, Dumbledore stepped into the fire and disappeared in a whoosh of green sparks.

Since there was still no sign of Moony, Sirius suggested going for a walk and exploring the area around the house. 'The weather's good for it.'

Harry nodded, as he always did to everything Sirius suggested. Sirius wondered whether he dared not say no – which would be troubling – or whether simply doing whatever activity together was enough to make it desirable in Harry's eyes – which was even greater cause for worry. Sirius pushed that train of thought to the back of his mind. There was nothing he could do about it either way and he had to pick his battles. This one would hopefully sort itself out in time.

As they trudged along narrow lanes between fields, their conversation was brought to dogs by an encounter with a man walking a member of said species and Sirius suddenly found himself with an opening to tell Harry about his animagus form.

'… and I think he was really clever. He even snarled at Aunt Petunia,' Harry told him.

Sirius sighed.

'Is something wrong?'

'Well, I… I kind of have to tell you something. It's about a mistake I made.'

'It is?' Harry's eyes were wide.

Sirius nodded. 'Yeah, can you…' He tried to think of a way to explain but gave up quickly, deciding that showing him would be the easiest way to go. 'Just watch.' Harry did as Sirius transformed.

For a moment, a smile appeared on Harry's face. 'Doggy!' he exclaimed, reaching out to pet Sirius' hand, but then his face fell and he froze.

Sirius whimpered and nudged his knee.

'You're Doggy?' asked Harry and Sirius could tell that he was suddenly recalling everything he had told the black dog over the days that they had been walking to and from school together.

Sirius turned back into a man and nodded. 'Yeah… Harry, you have every right to be angry with me. I should have shown you who I was the second I got the chance but… I had told you I'd be back on Friday and instead I was following you around all week. I thought you might be freaked out by that. Also, I didn't anticipate that you'd actually tell me anything that you intended to keep a secret from me and by the time realised I had misjudged the situation, it was too late.' He paused, watching Harry who was yet to show a reaction. 'Look, for what it's worth, I'm truly sorry, but I messed up and I absolutely don't blame you for being angry. That's fine.'

Harry was still looking at him with that same unreadable expression. Sirius shuffled nervously, waiting for an explosion. He could not honestly say that he was looking forward to Harry to being angry with him, even if he knew he deserved it.

'You…' said Harry finally. 'You… I'm not angry.'

'You're not?' asked Sirius, surprised. 'You know, I can take it. You don't have to be scared.'

'I'm not,' argued Harry. 'I… You saved me.'

'I did?'

'Yeah, Malcom, Dennis, Gordon and Piers would have hit me if you hadn't saved me and they would have probably ripped my uniform and then Aunt Petunia would have shouted at me for not looking after it.'

'Well…' mused Sirius. 'I… I suppose but I still should have…'

Harry shook his head vigorously, making him fall silent. 'You _saved_ me,' he repeated, this time saying it in a way that implied a more fundamental meaning. His voice was cracking. 'I'm not angry with you. Never. You _saved_ me.'

Sirius swore under his breath and pulled Harry into a hug, kneeling down on the muddy ground. 'That doesn't mean you can't be angry with me when I do something stupid,' he told him gently.

Harry slung his arms around his neck and muttered into his shoulder, 'You let me stay.'

'You made me do that.' Harry tensed and Sirius realised how he had taken to mean those words. 'Not like that,' he qualified, trying to stop Harry before he started to panic. 'You could tell I wasn't sure, couldn't you? And then you told me about the cupboard because you knew it'd convince me. You made me… _save_ you.'

Harry relaxed again and Sirius remained still until he spoke, a few minutes later. 'Uncle… Uncle Vernon says that only freaks live in cupboards and if I told you about it, you'd know that I was a freak and then you wouldn't want me anymore.'

Sirius repressed a growl and did his best not to squeeze Harry. He was going to kill that man, maybe not yet but some day, he would kill that bloody… 'But you still told me,' he said as calmly as he could, despite his rage. He thought it came out alright. 'Why did you do that?'

'I…' Harry struggled with the answer. 'I…'

'You thought that maybe your uncle was wrong,' Sirius supplied, 'and you took the risk and told me. That was very brave of you.'

'Was… Was he lying?' asked Harry.

'There's no such thing as a "freak", Harry, and if there were, you certainly wouldn't be one of them.' If anyone was a freak, it was the man who locked his nephew in a cupboard. Still, he deliberately left Harry's question unanswered. Harry would work it out himself.

'Mhm,' muttered Harry noncommittally.

'Harry, you're allowed to be angry with me, okay? You're allowed to tell me that what I did was stupid, because it was, and you're allowed to be cross with me for a while. Okay?'

'Do I have to?'

Sirius laughed. 'Of course not, just… Harry, you never need to be scared of me, alright? Be angry with me when you think I deserve it.'

Harry sighed and loosened his hold. Sirius released him. 'Maybe I am a little bit angry,' he admitted. 'But not much and I know you're sorry and I forgive you.'

Sirius bit back a laugh at this instant retraction. 'Thank you for being honest,' he said instead. He realised that Harry would never risk being angry with him, not when he was still afraid that Sirius would send him back to his relatives.

 _-oOo-_

 _There we are. That's a real whopper, 5600 words. I had that chapter all but ready to go up, but then I decided to incorporate Sirius telling Harry about the animagus thing, and somehow, all my outlines for future chapters no longer matched, so I've had to make sure everything fits before I posted this and that took me ages. Still, I'm happy with it again and all's good._

 _So, tell me what you think :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hello :-)_

 _jkwhedon1919: Yup, I'm afraid that's pretty much it story arc wise. I'm glad you're enjoying it! :-)_

 _JustAReader SO: Dankeschön :-)_

 _Thank you so much for your reviews :-) I'm very glad to hear that you like reading the story!_

-oOo-

Over the next few days, the "getting easier" part that Sirius had been anticipating from the very beginning finally started to set in. Two things were happening. For one, Sirius was beginning to get a better feeling for Harry's moods, and secondly, he felt that Harry was starting to trust him more and more. Harry was still petrified of making mistakes – it helped that Sirius knew that that was what it was now – but when something went wrong, it was getting increasingly easier to talk him out of panicking. Sirius considered that a huge win, even if he felt there was still a very long way to go.

Other than that, things had fallen into a routine. While Harry was at school, Sirius kept up building work on the house. It was slightly boring in its monotony but satisfying also, being able to look at what he had accomplished every day. Moony worked at the factory, preferably night or early shifts that let him spent the afternoons with Harry.

The definite downside of things calming down was that it seemed to trigger Sirius' nightmares to return for the first time since Harry had moved in with them. Between that and his release from Azkaban, he had had one every couple of nights, most not bad enough to wake him up but all utterly disconcerting.

There had been one that involved aurors coming to the house to take him away, saying that there had been a mistake and he had been found guilty after all and sentenced to life in Azkaban. He had been struggling and screaming that he was innocent but nobody had heard. He dreamed that he was trapped, he dreamed about Peter turning into a rat as Sirius stood immobile, unable to move, while the walls seemed to close in around him.

He hated those dreams with a passion, the only consolation being that they were yet to occur when Harry slept in his bed, which was the case every few nights.

'You look tired,' remarked Moony the following Saturday over breakfast.

Sirius had decided to keep up the daytrip tradition and after last week's visit to the sea, Harry had – after a considerable amount of prompting and coaxing – very carefully asked if they might go to the cinema. Sirius had agreed instantly, even before knowing what a cinema was, exactly. It had been Moony who had pointed out that watching a movie of about an hour and a half was not enough to fill the entire day, so he suggested making it into a day out in muggle London and ending it with a visit to the cinema. Harry had nodded eagerly.

'I'm fine,' muttered Sirius back, having little desire to talk about a confusing dream that had ended with Peter turning him, Moony and Harry into rats before blowing them up, along with most of the kids from Harry's school. He was particularly unwilling to discuss it in front of Harry.

Moony fixed him with a doubtful look and Sirius knew that he would ask again. Harry, too, seemed to have noticed that something was off, but he – unlike Moony – was likely to drop the matter.

Sirius forced himself to smile at Harry who was only able to resist him for a few seconds before the corners of his mouth wandered upwards, too. That, in turn, brought a genuine grin to Sirius' face.

Their venture into the muggle world was utterly fascinating, especially since Moony suggested visiting the Science Museum, which showed all sorts of funny things muggles had come up with. Sirius earned himself some curious looks since some of the questions he asked Moony seemed to be common knowledge for muggles but since it made Harry chuckle, he kept it up anyway – he did not mind making a fool of himself for Harry's amusement. Moony was only so much help so they ended up reading the explanations next to the exhibits that appeared to be aimed at children but were nonetheless very informative – for a wizard, at least.

They caught the early evening showing of a kids' movie. Sirius had made sure to ask the teenager at the counter that it was not scary – he had no interest in a repeat of the ghost train incident – and was assured that it was not even remotely frightening. This turned out to be true. The film – the name of which Sirius promptly forgot – featured only moving drawings of animals talking in funny voices, making for very little suspense. Sirius found it entertaining enough, mainly because the experience of watching a movie on a huge screen instead of a tiny vellyvision was enough to hold his interest.

'Good day?' asked Sirius once they had settled on Harry's bed that night, getting ready to read a chapter from a book of Harry's choice.

Harry smiled. 'Yeah,' he said. Then, his face fell a little. 'You know… We don't have to keep doing that if you don't want to. Even Dudley… I mean, I don't… You don't have to.' He squirmed.

'Would you rather be doing something else?' asked Sirius. He recognised Harry's expression as one of those times when he was not quite able to put what he wanted to say into words. He had found that prompting him to give more details tended to work.

Harry shook his head. 'I just… You… You really don't have to…'

'I know I don't have to but why wouldn't I want to go on daytrips with you?'

'I…' Harry struggled for words. 'It's… You… It's expensive,' he finally burst out. From his tone, Sirius could tell that this was what he was worried about. Harry continued, the words stumbling over one another, 'You already bought me clothes and give me food and everything. You don't have to…'

Sirius decided to interrupt. He had gotten the point. 'I've got enough money, you don't need to worry about that,' he assured Harry. 'Besides, I'm having a lot of fun, too. I'd never been to see a movie before.'

'Really?'

'Yes, really. I promise, alright?'

A careful smile appeared on Harry's face. Sirius grinned when he saw it since it meant that Harry had believed him, and very quickly this time. It always filled him with a great sense of accomplishment to see that Harry trusted him even if he knew that this particular worry was not done with for good and that they would probably have that same conversation again soon. It was better than half an hour's worth of coaxing and reassurances until Harry finally believed that he was not lying.

Harry leaned against his godfather's shoulder and Sirius found the bookmark and began to read.

'Do you think they can save Uncle Quentin?' asked Harry when Sirius finished.

Sirius shrugged and tucked him in. He thought it unlikely that the book would have a bad ending. 'Probably.'

Harry did not seem satisfied by the answer.

'Well, if you can't wait, you can finish the book tonight and tell me how it ended tomorrow morning,' Sirius suggested. There was only one chapter left. Also, this might prove an opportunity not to sit with Harry until he fell asleep. He knew that they would have to break out of that habit eventually. While Harry very much deserved to be pampered and Sirius would never deny him that kind of affection, eight was too old for that, really. He would be off to Hogwarts in just a few short years, all on his own…

'I can?' asked Harry, bringing Sirius back to their conversation.

He laughed and passed him the book. 'Go on. I'll be downstairs if you need me.' He kissed Harry's forehead. 'Sleep well.'

'Sleep well,' echoed Harry.

Moony was sitting on the sofa in the living room, reading as so often. 'Another good day?' he guessed as Sirius joined him.

'I think so,' answered Sirius. 'Though I'm afraid that if I say I'm getting the hang of this, everything will go downhill.'

Moony chuckled and changed the subject. 'So, why didn't you sleep last night?'

Sirius scowled at him. 'I did sleep.'

Moony sighed and raised his hands in a gesture of defeat. 'I'm not forcing you to talk about it. I'm just offering an ear should you find yourself wanting one.'

Sirius remained silent and Moony went back to his book. Sirius grabbed the Daily Prophet and tried to get started on the crossword but found that he could no concentrate. 'Nightmares,' he admitted finally, throwing the paper onto the coffee table in frustration. 'But you already knew that.' It was hardly difficult to guess. 'And you also know about what.' Every witch and wizard in Britain who had picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet within the last month would know what he was having nightmares about.

Moony lowered his book and nodded thoughtfully. He was no stranger to nightmares, had had quite a few nasty ones when they had first gone to school. Moony had always dreamt about the full moon, about being bitten or losing control and biting someone else. 'Since when?'

'A few days,' answered Sirius, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. 'Had one on Tuesday, one on Thursday and one last night.'

'And not before?'

'Not since Harry came here. I suppose I was distracted.'

Moony frowned. 'Dreamless Sleep?' he suggested uncertainly but Sirius guessed that he already knew the answer he was going to get. The potion was highly addictive and therefore only really to be used in desperate situations.

'I'm fine. I can still sleep, just… It just sucks.'

Moony sighed. 'Wake me up,' he told him. 'I'll sit with you, I don't mind.'

'Thanks.' Sirius knew that he would not wake Moony. His job had him doing nightshifts fairly regularly and he could use all the sleep he could get. Still, he was genuinely thankful for the offer. He liked to know that someone was willing to look out for him

-oOo-

 _Harry grinned at him from where he sat on Lily's lap, his pudgy little hands chasing the bubbles that Sirius' wand was emitting. Lily smiled and kissed the little head that was covered in a cloud of unruly black hair._

' _He loves that,' she said. 'Where'd you learn?'_

' _Frank showed me,' Sirius answered. 'He says it's early training, hand-eye coordination. It's important for Quidditch. He says Neville will be a star chaser.'_

 _Lily scowled but laughed anyway._

' _Then we'll have to make sure that Harry's better,' Prongs interjected, slumping down on the sofa next to Lily. 'Harry's definitely got an advantage. Alice doesn't allow Neville on a broom.'_

' _Very sensible of her,' said Lily. 'They can't even walk yet!'_

 _Prongs laughed and tickled Harry's belly. The little boy squealed happily and almost threw himself out of Lily's hold and onto his father's lap. 'Dada!'_

 _James caught him with practiced ease. 'Who's gonna be a star chaser?' he asked and blew a raspberry against Harry's stomach. Harry laughed again._

' _Who's gonna be a star chaser?' James asked again and repeated the game, once, twice, three times. Sirius watched in amusement, Lily with fond exasperation._

 _James laughed and passed Harry to Sirius. 'Look after him, will you?' he asked._

 _Sirius looked down into those big green eyes in the young face. Harry gave another squeal of delight. 'Pfoo!' he said._

' _Padfoot,' corrected Sirius._

' _Pfoo!'_

 _Sirius shrugged. 'Well, it's better than "Moomoo", isn't it? Don't you think, Prongs?' He looked up to find the sofa opposite empty. Harry fell silent. '_ Prongs _?' he called._

 _There was no answer. He stood up and looked around frantically for his best friend. He was cold. The previously sunlit sitting room had gotten dark, shadows moving around him._

 _Suddenly, there was a voice behind him. 'It's your fault.'_

 _Sirius spun around. Prongs was standing in the door to the hall. Behind him, a body lay sprawled on the ground at the bottom of the staircase, red hair like a puddle around her head. 'Prongs?' asked Sirius tentatively._

' _It was you,' said Prongs. 'It was you who convinced us to take Peter. I didn't want to but you talked me into it. It was your fault.'_

' _No!' argued Sirius. 'Please, Prongs, I didn't mean…_ Please! _'_

' _You failed me. You didn't look after Harry, like you promised. You gave him away, let him be taken. Do you know what they did to him, Padfoot? It was all your fault. You should have been there for him, you should have looked after him. Everything they did to him is your fault! You could have prevented it.'_

'I'm sorry! _Please, I didn't mean to! I wanted to catch Peter! I wanted to catch him and then I would have come back for Harry!'_

' _But you didn't,' said Prongs mercilessly. 'You never did come back.' His face transformed as he spoke, it became younger, the eyes turned green. His voice changed to a child's. 'You should have protected me!'_

'I wanted to! Harry, I'm sorry!' _Sirius sank to his knees in front of him, trying hug him, but Harry pushed him away._

' _You made me trust you but it's your fault that Mum and Dad are dead. You can never make up for that! You can never be as good as them!'_

'Harry, please!'

' _I hate you, Sirius!'_

' _It was your fault!' That was Prongs' voice again, towering over him in the darkness._

' _You promised you'd protect him,' said Lily. 'I thought you loved him.'_

'I do. Lily, please!'

'Sirius!'

' _It was your fault!'_

' _I hate you!'_

' _You're not my father!'_

' _Prongs!'_

'Wake up!'

' _Please!'_

' _You're not my brother!'_

'Sirius!'

' _You're just like your family after all. I thought you seemed all right.'_

' _You should have told me!'_

'No, please!'

' _I trusted you!'_

'Sirius!'

'Harry, please, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!'

'Sirius, please, wake up, please!'

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to!'

'Harry?'

'He won't wake up.'

'Sirius?' said another voice. That one did not sound angry and accusing, just anxious.

Sirius was drenched in sweat, panting. As he struggled to remember where he was, he realised that he was in Azkaban, a dementor in front of his cell. They always made him see them, his friends, his family. They always shouted at him but it was almost worth it, just to see their faces.

'I'm innocent,' he whispered into the cold. 'I'm innocent.'

James, Lily, Harry… What he would give to see them. What he would give to talk to… Just as he thought about it, Harry's face appeared before him and he instinctively reached out for it. He expected it to disappear at the touch, but it stayed where it was. That was new. He had never been able to touch his illusions before. Perhaps he was going mad after all? Then again, if this was madness, he should have given into it years ago. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered. 'Harry, I'm so sorry.'

'It's okay,' answered Harry. His voice was shaking. He was crying. He reached out a hand to touch Sirius' face in turn. He was warm and Sirius closed his eyes, more tears rolling over his cheeks.

'It's my fault,' he whispered.

'Sirius?'

Sirius' head snapped up, towards the voice. Moony. He made to scramble backwards, his hands raised. 'Moony, please, I didn't do it! Please, you have to listen, it wasn't me, we swapped! I'm innocent! Peter…'

'I know,' interrupted Moony, stepping closer, sinking onto the bed next to Harry. 'It's a nightmare, Padfoot. You were just dreaming.'

Sirius shook his head. He did not want them to be a dream. 'No, I don't want to be alone. I don't want you to leave.'

'I'm not leaving.' That was Harry again.

'Sirius, we're real. You're not alone.' Moony's hair was tousled, like he had just gotten up. He was wearing pyjamas.

'Harry?'

Harry's glasses were askew, his hair even messier than usual. He was in nightclothes, too, the blue pyjamas with what Harry had told him was a row-bot on the front that Sirius had bought for him. Had bought for him… Memories came streaming back. Not a dream… They were not illusions, they were real. He raised a shaking hand to remove the hair that was sticking to his forehead. They were sitting on his bed, in his room, in the house he had bought.

Harry looked stricken, terrified. Moony had a hand on his shoulder, ready to pull him out of harm's way. He was watching Sirius apprehensively, obviously unsure what he would do next. It was understandable, Sirius supposed.

'I was dreaming,' he said, letting Moony know that he had returned to reality. 'Nightmare. I'm awake now.' His voice was not nearly as steady as he hoped. It cracked and his throat hurt. Had he been screaming?

Moony nodded and relaxed, letting go of Harry who instantly threw himself forwards, arms around Sirius' neck. Sirius hugged him automatically.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, trying not to sound like he had in the dream. 'Did I wake you up?'

Harry nodded.

'I didn't mean to scare you.'

Harry's only answer was a choked sob into Sirius' shoulder. Sirius repressed a curse. Why did he always have to make a mess of things?

'Sirius?'

He looked up to find Moony who still looked worried. 'I'm sorry. That… That was bad.'

'Was that what it was like in Azkaban?' asked Moony.

Sirius nodded. 'The dementors, they…' He shivered, unable to explain.

Moony still seemed to understand, however. He raised his wand and a moment later, a bar of chocolate came flying into the room. He tore off the paper and offered a large chunk to Sirius who did not hesitate to push it into his mouth. It helped a little but Prongs' words still echoed in his head.

Harry clinging to him was both reassuring and worrying. He hated to think that he had upset Harry so much but he took great comfort in holding him. He was warm, so warm.

'You should change,' said Moony after a few minutes of silence. 'Take a shower and put on new clothes.'

'I'm fine.'

'You're shaking.'

Sirius was surprised to find that he was right. The wet fabric of his nightclothes clung to his skin, making him freeze.

'Harry?' asked Moony.

Harry lifted his head.

'I need to get changed,' said Sirius, taking over from Moony. He knew that Harry would not let go because someone else told him to. 'Moony will look after you, alright?'

Harry considered him cautiously but let go and scooted backwards to Moony who rubbed his back. Harry leaned into the touch and Moony slung and arm around him. Harry was firmly enclosed in a hug by the time Sirius had pulled spare pyjamas from his wardrobe.

When he returned a few minutes later, dry and no longer sticky, Moony had changed the sheets and made the bed. He and Harry were still sitting on it, both lifting their heads as he entered. Sirius felt worlds better even if he was still shaking a little. He slid under his duvet, trying to rectify that.

Harry crawled over almost instantly. 'May I stay tonight?' he asked.

'Of course.' Sirius threw back the duvet so that Harry could join him.

Harry snuggled into his side and was so exhausted that he fell asleep within minutes. Moony was still perched on the bed.

'What did you tell him?' asked Sirius quietly.

Moony sighed. 'I think he got the gist by himself. I said that the prison you were at is a place that makes people think horrible things and that you'll still do sometimes because you were there for that long. He asked why you kept apologising.' He threw Sirius a rueful look. 'And I said he should ask you. I thought you'd rather explain yourself.'

Sirius nodded. 'Yeah…' he muttered. 'I'm not that keen on explaining that.'

'He loves you, Padfoot.'

'Only makes it worse, doesn't it? I should have told him before… before he started to.'

Moony shook his head. 'He's eight, Padfoot. He needs a father more than absolute honesty. Besides, he won't blame you. Neither would Prongs and Lily, for that matter. All you ever did was try to keep them safe, we all know that.'

'I know. Just… sometimes… They might still be alive if I had acted differently.'

Moony shrugged. 'They might be. Or we would all be dead. There's no way of knowing how things would have worked out. For all we know, it could be much, much worse.'

Sirius nodded, his eyes on Harry. 'Is it wrong that I'm glad that I've got him?' That was a question he would not have asked had he not been so shaken and tired. It was a worry he barely liked to admit to himself.

'Of course not. You didn't take him from them, Padfoot. You're doing exactly what they would want you to.'

Harry sighed in his sleep and Sirius stroked his hair. 'I'm not so sure that this is what they wanted.'

'They wanted you to be whole and happy,' admitted Moony. 'But for your sake just as much as for Harry's.'

Sirius nodded.

'Padfoot, seven years in Azkaban… I think I'd've gone mental within a _week_. It's going to leave traces and nobody could possibly expect you to walk out of there the way you went in. So, for Merlin's sake, Padfoot, whatever you do, please let me help, alright? Raising a kid on your own is hard even under the best circumstances, and you don't have to. I meant what I said. I'd to anything to help, for you and for Harry.'

-oOo-

When Sirius woke up, Harry was gone and the sun shining into his room told him that it had to be at least mid-morning. Confused as to why he had slept through his alarm, he made to venture downstairs to look for Harry. He did not get that far, however. Moony stuck his head out of his bedroom as Sirius made his way along the hall.

'Good morning.'

'Morning,' answered Sirius. 'Where's Harry?'

Moony leaned against his doorframe. 'I took him to school. He tried to wake you but you slept like a log, so we decided to let you.'

Sirius nodded. The compassionate looks Moony was sending him told him that the events of last night had sadly not been just another nightmare. 'Was he okay?'

'He was worried about you but I think he was coping. He was talking to me and he ate something, so if that's any indication…'

Sirius nodded, relieved.

'I said you'd pick him up. That'll be okay, right?'

'I'm not an invalid!' snapped Sirius and instantly regretted it. 'Sorry.' He was angry at himself, not Moony. 'Look, I just want to be okay. Things are hard enough without me waking Harry in the middle of the night.'

Moony sighed. 'No point crying over spilled potion.'

Sirius scowled, hating that Moony was right. He could not undo what had happened. Nevertheless, maybe a silencing charm tomorrow night would be a good start… 'I'll get breakfast,' he muttered, extricating himself from the conversation.

He was early to pick up Harry. He was on his own as Moony had had to leave for work just after lunch. Harry came running towards him, like he always did, only this time did he not throw himself into Sirius' arms. Sirius' heart dropped to his stomach.

'Hello,' said Harry. He was visibly nervous, apprehensive even. Sirius could not quite tell if he was scared, too.

Sirius sank down onto one knee to be level with him.

'Are you okay?' asked Harry.

Sirius nodded. 'I'm so sorry,' he muttered. 'I'm so sorry that I made you worry. I'm fine. It was just a nightmare.' They location was hardly ideal and Sirius knew that his words would seem odd to the parents walking past them on the sidewalk. Still, he had different priorities.

Harry slung his arms around Sirius' neck.

'I never meant to scare you like that. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay,' answered Harry. 'I have nightmares, too, sometimes.'

'I know.' He held him tightly. 'I know. I'm still sorry I made you scared, though.'

'I think you were more scared than me.'

Sirius let go of Harry and stared at him in surprise. He had not expected such an observation. 'I was very scared,' he admitted, and he had been. Terrified, in fact. People were gawking at them. 'Come on, let's get going.' He had stopped asking whether Harry wanted to stick around and play with the other kids. So far, he had always gotten a negative answer.

Harry was silently watching him on their way home.

'You can ask,' Sirius reminded him after a while. 'You can always ask me anything and I promise I won't lie to you.'

Harry bit his lip. He looked like he was debating whether to say something or not. Sirius did not push. If Harry was not ready to ask, then he was not ready to hear the answer and Sirius would hate himself for exposing him to the story any earlier than he had to. Also, Sirius supposed that Harry might feel that any questions he had were rather personal, seeing as Sirius had been in tears last night.

In the end, whatever the reason, Harry remained silent on the issue and Sirius was more than content to wait until he changed his mind, feeling that the longer that took, the better.

-oOo-

 _That's it, chapter thirteen done :-) What do you think? Did the nightmare work? I've never really written a dream like that before…_

 _I'm always happy to hear your opinions, so feel free to leave a review :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	14. Chapter 14

_Hello :-)_

 _ **JayBat:** Yeah, I'm sure ;-) I'm not saying he doesn't need it, just that he'd be unwilling to do it. I just don't think he's the type. I'll probably get to that, though. I'm vaguely planning to have Alice and Frank Longbottom make an appearance, so that topic might come up. I haven't written it yet, so we'll see :-) Thanks a lot for your review!_

 _ **CaseLC:** Thanks for your feedback. I was kind of aiming for confusion, seeing as Sirius isn't really able to process who is talking to him. He isn't even able to tell that he was dreaming / has woken up. Thanks for your review! :-)_

 _Thanks for all your reviews! I'm glad the dream was well received. I was a bit worried about that one. :-)_

-oOo-

As the days passed, the end of October drew nearer and with it came another full moon. It fell on a Tuesday, the last week before Harry's half term holiday. Still struggling with nightmares, Sirius had taken to grabbing an additional hour or two of sleep after lunch, before picking Harry up from school. It was hardly ideal but it worked well enough.

Gathering from what he told Sirius and Moony, Harry was now quite content to go to school. Sirius did not suppose he was dreading the holidays, exactly, but he went to his lessons without any signs of distress and was happy to tell Sirius and Moony about his days – funny things that had happened in class, what he had had for lunch and so on.

After the homework incident, Harry had reluctantly approached Moony again with another question and over the next week had taken to doing his work at the kitchen table with Moony sitting by his side whenever the latter was not working the late shift. Sirius was still struggling to keep up with everything but as far as he could tell, Harry was faring well.

'I can't stay here,' Moony announced to Sirius on Sunday night after Harry was in bed. 'If Harry's in the house, I'll be able to smell him and the wolf will want to bite – you wouldn't be able to distract it and if you tried, I'd probably hurt you. Besides, if you're in the room with me, that'd be like leaving Harry on his own all night. We can't do that.'

Sirius hated it but saw no way around that reasoning. He had been telling himself that Harry had first priority and now for the first time that meant having to make a sacrifice. 'I'm sorry, Moony,' he said. 'I wish it were different.'

'I know. Don't beat yourself up about this, Padfoot. You're doing the right thing.'

So Moony left them after dinner on the last Tuesday evening in October. He was headed for a sealed and guarded area kept by the Ministry that was home to a prison where werewolves were held who had in the past attacked or killed humans. On full moon nights, additional werewolves were admitted, to be locked in until the next morning.

The simple fact that Moony refused to talk about the place made him assume the worst. It had been introduced after the first war to keep werewolves in check, mostly those who had chosen to follow Greyback. Sirius was doubtful about how effective it was concerning that aim. Greyback and his pack lived far off from civilisation, out of the Ministry's reach and were therefore largely unaffected by it.

Moony was not legally required to spend the full moon nights there, luckily. That was due to the fact that he had a sparkly clean slate. The Ministry liked to make it obligatory for any werewolf they could possibly force into it, even with the most threadbare justifications. Moony had told him about someone who had been picked up by law enforcement for leaving the Leaky Cauldron without paying his tab – adding up to a galleon and five sickles of stolen goods and completely unrelated to his being a werewolf.

"They're looking for excuses," Moony had said wearily when Sirius had gotten angry. "They haven't been able to pin anything on me yet, thank Merlin." He had sighed. "It's alright at the moment. Greyback's been quiet, so the fear isn't as present in most people's minds. I just hope it stays that way – I trust it on the Ministry to make it illegal to stay away if they think it'll get them the public's approval."

Sirius was up before dawn, waiting for the return of his friend. He had prepared food for him, even if he was not sure whether he would be strong enough to eat. Moony arrived looking like hell. He had suffered a wound to the head and a scratch across his face but judging from the way he held his arm and the fact that he was limping, that was not the worst of it.

'What the hell happened to you? I thought you didn't hurt yourself when you had company. You told me werewolf didn't attack each other!'

'They do if they can't stand you,' explained Moony, leaning against the wall for support and leaving a few smudges of blood on the blue paint. His eyes closed. 'They don't separate the wolves. You know they see me as a traitor. There's a lot of animosity in that place.'

'Merlin's bollocks, Moony. Why the hell would you even go there if it's like that?'

'It keeps me locked up.'

Sirius wanted to pursue the topic but was distracted by a noise from the stairs. Harry was crouching behind the banisters, watching and listening.

Moony spotted him, too. 'Don't worry, Harry,' he said, attempting to smile, but only managed a pained grimace. 'I'll be as good as new in a few hours.' Sirius was not sure how much good that statement did – seeing as it was mostly a groan, despite Moony's best efforts.

'Go back to your room, please, Harry. I'll be with you in a minute.' Harry disappeared and Sirius turned back to Moony with a whisper. 'We're not done talking about this,' he let him know. 'Now, let's get you to bed, or do you want to eat first?'

'Bed.'

Sirius slung Moony's good arm around his shoulders and supported him on the way up the stairs. He was half-unconscious when Sirius laid him on the bed. He vanished Moony's clothes and began to bandage his wounds. He would not be able to heal them with magic as they were cursed. For non-infected people, wounds like this took weeks or months to heal if they ever closed at all but in Moony, the lycanthropy would accelerate the process. He would be left with more scars but in the past, he had always been back to normal within a few days.

' _Ferula_ ,' Sirius muttered one last time, adding a bandage to stop the wound to Moony's head from bleeding. He had not had to do this in years but he knew he would never forget how to patch up his friend. He covered him with a blanket – he was completely out cold now – and stepped out into the hall. He closed the door to Moony's room, feeling that there was no need for Harry to see just how bad Moony's wounds were.

As he had been working, his mind had been busy trying to find a different solution for the next month but he banished all those plans from his mind now in exchange for wondering what to tell Harry. He did not know about Moony being a werewolf yet. Moony had been against telling him even though Sirius had assured him that it would not affect Harry's opinion of him. Until now, he had respected that but things had changed.

He stepped across the hall and into Harry's bedroom. Harry was sitting on his bed cross-legged, his blanket around his shoulders.

'I'm sorry for listening,' was the first thing he said.

'Don't worry, we're not angry,' said Sirius, sitting down next to him.

'Is Remus going to be okay?' His voice was shaking a little.

'Yes, he'll be fine.'

'What happened to him? Did someone mug him?'

Sirius smiled sadly and slung an arm around Harry. 'No, nobody mugged him. Harry, do you know what last night was?'

Harry shook his head.

'It was a full moon. Do you know anything special that happens on a full moon?'

Harry thought about this. 'I'm not sure… People sleepwalk and… there's wolves and…'

'What kind of wolves?' prompted Sirius.

'Werewolves, people who turn into wolves at the full…'He fell silent, realising what Sirius had been wanting to say. 'Remus… Was he attacked by a werewolf?'

Sirius shook his head. Technically, Harry was right but he had missed the most crucial point. 'He _is_ a werewolf, Harry.' It felt wrong to share this secret – he had been guarding it for almost two decades and it really was Moony's to tell. Nonetheless, Harry would need an explanation instantly and Moony was in no condition to give it. Sirius would not have him worry about this all day, maybe even longer considering the extent of Moony's injuries – he might well sleep through to the next morning.

Harry blinked, confused and worried, but there was no trace of disgust or betrayal on his face. 'What… What does that mean?'

'What you just said. He turns into a wolf at the full moon.'

'So…' Harry pondered. 'Is that what hurt him?'

'Kind of,' Sirius sighed. 'Werewolves… They don't have control when they transform, like I do when I become a dog. The wolf takes over, and it's violent and wants to attack people. That's why Moony left, so he wouldn't hurt us.' Sirius hoped he was explaining things in a way that would both make Harry understand how serious this was but also not be scared of Moony. 'There… There's a place, run by the Ministry, where werewolves can spent the full moon without danger of accidentally meeting any people who aren't infected.'

Harry was following his words attentively and nodded to indicate that he had understood. 'So another werewolf hurt him?'

Sirius nodded. 'Yes, that's what he told me.'

'But,' said Harry indignantly, 'if they know that werewolves hurt each other, they should make sure that they don't. The Ministry, I mean. They should… they should separate them or something.'

Sirius sighed. This was a very difficult thing to find an answer for, especially since he did not know the details himself. 'They should,' he agreed. What else could he say? That Moony, whom Harry adored, was considered a monster in the eyes of the Ministry? 'Usually, werewolves are only dangerous to humans, not each other.'

'But why did they hurt Remus, then?'

This was yet another difficult question. Sirius did not want to go into detail about Greyback who saw it as his mission to bite as many people as possible, about the werewolves who believed him when he said that werewolves should not mix with uninfected wizards. 'There are some people who are werewolves who don't like Moony all that much,' he said carefully. 'They think it's a betrayal that he prefers to live with people who aren't werewolves. I suppose that they get angry with him.'

Harry pondered this for a moment. 'And they always hurt him on a full moon?'

'I'm not sure. He hasn't told me about it yet but I'm going to ask him when he wakes up. For now, we need to let him sleep. He's always very, very tired the day after his transformation and he needs to heal.'

Harry took that in with a nod.

'Harry, what I told you is a secret, okay? Even more secret than magic. You mustn't tell anybody, anybody at all about this, do you understand?' he urged. The warning was probably superfluous. Harry would know not to tell anybody at school since it had to do with magic and there was nobody else who he was in contact with.

Harry nodded earnestly. 'Nobody. I promise.'

'Good.' Sirius pulled him into a hug. 'You're a good kid, Harry. I'm proud of you.'

Moony was still asleep when Sirius picked Harry up from school that afternoon. Sirius had checked on him on and off all day but nothing worth noting had happened. He had not even turned over.

Harry was edgy and Sirius allowed him in Moony's room after making him promise to remain quiet and not disturb him. His eyes were big as he took in the white bandage that covered Moony's head and the bit of arm that was poking out from under the blanket. Blood had stained the fabric in some places.

'And he'll be okay?' he whispered.

Sirius nodded. 'He will be, I promise.'

Sirius did his best to distract Harry from Moony that afternoon and evening but had only limited success. He supposed that Harry was too old for such treatment to work. It was lucky that the full moon had not been earlier – he dreaded to think what Harry would have made of this only two weeks ago. He seemed to be doing okay, given the circumstances and Sirius put that down to the fact that Harry knew not to be scared of Moony.

On the contrary, Harry adored Moony and Sirius could see why. The homework thing had changed things for them. It had made Harry realise that Moony, like Sirius, had an honest interest in his wellbeing. He excelled where Sirius was stretched to his limits. Moony was patient, calm and thoughtful, and had a seemingly infinite amount of knowledge on all sorts of topics at his disposal. Sirius was not stupid, far from it, nor was he uneducated, but he lacked the passion for learning that Moony so obviously possessed. It probably also helped that there could not be two men less alike than him and Vernon Dursley.

Moony had absolutely fallen for Harry, in turn. Sirius knew that Moony had always wanted to have kids but that it was something he had never really considered a possibility. There was a certain risk involved and a part of Sirius understood that Moony did not want to take the chance of passing on his predicament. Still, now he had the chance to be a father and Sirius would not let him let that slip away, certainly not because of something as ridiculous as his "furry little problem," as Prongs had liked to call it.

Sirius kept checking on Moony every few hours through the night and in the early morning, he accidentally woke him up when changing the bandages.

'Wha…' Moony groaned.

'It's fine, it's just me,' answered Sirius. 'You've been asleep for about twenty hours. How are you feeling?'

Moony relaxed again. 'Hurts…' he muttered, his eyes falling shut. 'Doin' fine.'

'Alright. If you need me, just call, okay?'

'Hm,' Moony hummed. He had fallen asleep again and Sirius left him alone.

He woke properly the next morning, about an hour after Sirius had dropped Harry off at school.

'How are you?' he asked when he found him sitting up in his bed.

Moony shrugged and hissed immediately at the pain that caused him. 'I've been worse.'

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. 'Breakfast?' Moony nodded. 'What do you want? Bacon, eggs, sausages?'

Moony gave him a sheepish grin. 'That would be brilliant. Let me give you a hand…'

He made to stand up but Sirius pushed him back down. 'Don't you dare,' he warned. 'You're staying right where you are. I'll stick you to those sheets permanently if you try anything,' he warned.

The fact that Moony gave up instantly served as proof to Sirius that the first attempt to get up had to have caused him quite a substantial amount of pain.

Sirius left Moony after shooting him another warning glare and returned a little while later with a full English breakfast. Sirius let himself drop on the foot of the bed while Moony ate.

'So, want to tell me why you were unconscious for more than a day? Or do I have to torture you for information?'

Moony sighed. 'It seems that the other wolves saw it as a betrayal that I wasn't there last month. Most of the time they leave me alone.'

Sirius growled.

'Padfoot…'

Moony would never agree to spend the full moon in any way that did not involve locking him up, some place a safe distance from any other humans – and there were not too many of those. The Shrieking Shack was of course always an option but if Moony were to stay there by himself, he would not return in a better condition than he had yesterday – on the contrary, Sirius had seen him injured a lot worse during their first few years at school.

No, the Shrieking Shack alone was not a good solution. Maybe, if Sirius and Moony both were to go there, then Harry could stay at home. They would just need someone to babysit him, but who? The only person who was even a remote possibility was Dumbledore and somehow, Sirius could not see Harry taking to the idea, provided the old man even agreed… It was maddening!

'No, I hate this. I…'

'There's nothing you can do.'

'Oh, I will find something, trust me. I'm not having that!' Moony had suffered enough and as his friend, Sirius was going to do anything in his power to keep that from continuing. Still, he was yet to find a viable solution to their problem…

Moony sighed but smiled contentedly. 'You know,' he said slowly, 'it's been a long time since someone got so angry on my behalf.'

'You better get used to it!' growled Sirius, still angry, but Moony's words succeeded in appeasing him a little. 'I told Harry,' he changed the subject.

Moony tensed instantly. 'And?' he asked, sounding as if he was not certain whether he wanted to know the answer.

'What do you think, you prat? He didn't give a flying hippogriff. How could he, honestly? You spent hours with him, working on that "which tree is which" poster thing. I very much suspect that your whole "I'm a monster" routine will be lost on him.'

'I think it would be down to the fact that everything he ever heard about werewolves came from you, am I right?' guessed Moony but he was smiling nonetheless.

Sirius shrugged. 'I didn't lie to him. Besides, he was too busy being worried that you were hurt to care about anything else – as he should have been.'

Harry ran most of the way back from school, incredibly eager to see how Moony was doing. He had been delighted to hear that he had woken up but Sirius had not been able to appease him completely. When they returned, Moony had someone managed to manoeuvre himself down the stairs and onto the sofa in the sitting room and Harry's presence was the only thing that kept Sirius from doing more scolding than sending him an exasperated look.

'Are you okay?' asked Harry carefully, hovering by the coffee table.

Moony nodded. 'I'll be right as rain in a few days. You don't need to worry.'

Harry looked to Sirius for confirmation and got a nod in return. Still, tension remained in the air.

Moony cleared his throat. 'Padfoot told… He told me that he told you about… about me being a werewolf.'

Harry nodded and remained silent.

Moony squirmed, obviously both relieved that Harry's response was not negative – but then, it had not been positive either. 'I'm sorry. I probably should have told you before but… Well, a lot of people… Most people don't like werewolves all that much and…'

'I like you,' said Harry hurriedly.

Moony smiled at him carefully. 'Thanks, Harry.'

Both of them fell silent and the tension became almost unbearable.

Finally, Sirius could not take it anymore. He nudged Harry forwards. 'Just give that prat a hug already.' He could tell it was Moony's apprehensive stance that made Harry hesitate – he had waited for more than a day for him to wake up, for Merlin's sake, and now Moony looked as though he did not want him near.

Moony seemed scandalised by this suggestion but Harry obediently took a few tentative steps towards the sofa. 'You don't have to, Harry,' said Moony with a pained expression. 'I can understand if you're scared of me or…' He trailed off.

'I didn't want to hurt you,' said Harry. 'I'm not scared of you. Sirius says you're only dangerous when it's the full moon and it isn't at the moment, so…'

Moony blinked at him uncertainly for a few seconds but then extended an arm, inviting Harry in. The latter obliged and was promptly snuggled into the man's chest. 'Thank you,' muttered Moony, looking down at the child.

Harry shrugged. 'I think you're being a bit silly,' he said after a moment's deliberation. There was no malice in his voice, just honest concern.

Sirius burst out laughing at this. 'I think that's quite the understatement,' he insisted. 'You're being incredibly stupid, Moony.'

Moony just smiled contentedly.

They hung around the sitting room for a while, Harry sitting on the floor so that he could spread his homework on the coffee table. Moony regarded this with a sceptical look. 'That's not a good place for working, Harry,' he told him.

'It's fine for today,' interjected Sirius before Harry could do more than look up at Moony worriedly. 'As an exception, okay?' Moony took homework seriously, Sirius not so much.

Harry nodded instantly. 'Just for today,' he promised, looking at Moony.

Moony had thrown Sirius a scolding look but could not help but smile at Harry. 'Just today,' he gave in, realising that today, he would not be winning any battles. They settled down after that, reading and occasionally talking. Harry was not particularly talkative but Sirius put that down to the new situation and did not think much of it.

'Dinner?' asked Sirius eventually when his stomach began to grumble.

'Look, you have to let me help,' argued Moony instantly.

Sirius shook his head and turned to Harry who was curled up in one of the armchairs, reading. 'Harry, you're in charge of making sure he doesn't get up!'

Harry looked from him to Moony and back again, obviously uncertain. He would hate to stand between the two of them and that was exactly what Sirius was banking on – he hoped that Moony would give in to spare Harry getting into that dilemma. Sadly, he had no such luck – Moony was already pushing himself to his feet. He had obviously seen through Sirius's strategy and by getting up now, when Sirius was still in the room, Harry could stay out of it.

'Oi!' Sirius complained.

'I'm not actually that much of an invalid,' said Moony. He glared but Sirius held his gaze until he sighed. 'Fine, I'll let you cook but I want to supervise, okay? I _am_ quite hungry.'

'So what, you're saying you don't trust me with our dinner?' asked Sirius, trying to sound appalled.

'Of course I don't trust you with our dinner. Now, give me a hand, would you?'

Sirius sighed, knowing that Moony had a point. Sirius' cooking had improved quite a bit in the last few weeks but he still hardly excelled at the task. He walked over and supported Moony as he limped towards the kitchen. 'How exactly did you get down those stairs?'

Moony chuckled. 'Padfoot, contrary to your belief I am actually quite capable of taking care of myself.'

Sirius heard the unsaid addition of "I've had to do it for the past seven years" and growled. 'Well, you don't have to anymore, so stop whining.'

He settled Moony on a chair and pushed over a second so that he could put up his leg. Harry tentatively shuffled into the room after them, book still in hand. 'Are you fighting?' he asked.

'No,' answered Moony the same moment that Sirius said, 'Yes.' They exchanged a look.

'What else do you think we're doing?' asked Sirius.

'Well, I didn't think either of us is really angry,' Moony argued with a pointed look at Harry who looked a little worried.

'Harry, we're fine,' Sirius hurried to say. 'We're fighting but that doesn't mean anything, okay? Moony's right, I'm not really angry with him… even if he's being a prat,' he added.

Moony hit Sirius on the arm by way of retaliation and a little smile appeared on Harry's face. 'Do you want me to help you with dinner?' he asked.

'If you want to but you don't have to.' He nodded to Harry's book. 'You were reading, weren't you?'

Harry shook his head and set the book aside. 'I can help. What're we making?'

'Sausages, mashed potatoes and salad. You can wash the tomatoes if you want.'

Harry nodded and got to work while Sirius set the potatoes to boil and got the sausages out of the fridge. He was still reluctant to let Harry do the cooking. Everything involving knives or hot liquids near Harry's fingers made him edgy and for the sake of his nerves, he had started to give Harry other jobs. He very much suspected that Harry knew what he was doing even if he was yet to complain.

After they had eaten, Harry dug a letter out of his book bag and handed it to Sirius.

Sirius skimmed it. It was an invitation to something called a "parents' evening" on November 7th, the first day back after half term. Underneath it was a handwritten note signed by Mr Clark, Harry's form teacher, asking Sirius either to attend or to schedule a meeting at another time if he was otherwise occupied that night. Sirius passed it to Moony to read.

'What's a parents' evening?' he asked.

'The parents go into the school and the teachers tell them about how their kids are doing. That's right, isn't it, Harry?' said Moony.

Harry nodded silently. He was once more sporting the look of fear and guilt that Sirius had begun to hate weeks ago.

'Are you worried about what your teachers will say?' asked Sirius.

Harry nodded again.

'Why? Did you get in trouble?'

Harry squirmed and Sirius sighed. He was convinced that Harry had not intentionally broken any rules. He was still unnervingly well behaved at all times, at least around Moony and Sirius. Still, he obviously felt that he had done something wrong.

'Do you want to tell me?'

Harry shuffled, his eyes fixed on the ground. 'I… We… When we were doing a dictation exercise I looked over at Gina's sheet and I copied a word.'

Sirius could not help but chuckle. 'Harry, I very much doubt your teacher would call me in because of that.' He lowered his voice to a whisper. 'All the kids do that, you know?'

Finally, Harry looked up to him, eyes wide. 'You're not angry?'

Sirius sighed and ruffled his hair. 'Of course not.' Anything else would feel extremely hypocritical, and Harry ought to know since he had been told about a lot of the stuff that the Marauders had gotten up to in their school days. 'Your teacher probably only wants to talk to me because you're new. You worry too much, Harry.' He looked at Moony as he said it.

'You're one to talk,' muttered Moony into his beard and the corners of Harry's mouth twitched upwards just a smidge.

Sirius grinned at him and ruffled his hair again. 'Now, fancy a game of Exploding Snap before bed?'

Harry nodded eagerly.

-oOo-

 _There we go, the long awaited full moon done. I hope it lived up to expectations. ;-)_

 _Tell me what you think! I love getting some feedback._

 _DFTBA!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Hello :-)_

 _It's been a while, hasn't it? I can't honestly say I'm sorry since there's so much cool stuff happening at the moment. I finally found the time to go over this, so here we go :-)_

 _ **To the Guest who reviewed on Chapter 1**_ _: I'm glad you're enjoying it :-) I've got no clue where you got the idea that the Dursleys live in Wales. Harry's first Hogwarts letters are addressed to Little Whinging in Surrey, which is to the south-west of London._

 _ **stacygrrl2002**_ _: Thanks for the feedback. I personally find this chapter length to be quite a good compromise between being quite manageable and still a decent chunk. How long does it take to read 4000-ish words? 10-15 minutes, maybe? So I guess that's fine :-) "Blood wards" are never actually mentioned in canon, only some kind of protection to do with Lily's blood. I'm well aware of that and I mentioned it when Sirius is thinking about whether taking Harry in is the responsible thing to do. Thanks for your review :-)_

 _A huge thanks to everyone else as well! You always make me smile :-)_

-oOo-

They had not made big plans for half term. Sirius had considered going on vacation but in the end, he had decided against it. The end of October was not exactly an ideal time for holidaying in Britain and travelling abroad would prove problematic. Since they would have to avoid everyone magical – Harry had still not been told that he was famous – they would have to go the muggle way and Sirius could not honestly say that he was particularly keen on that.

Harry had voiced no desire for a big trip and knowing him, Sirius very much doubted that he would be overly upset even if he had secretly wanted one. Maybe they could go in the summer, rent a house by the sea or something like that. For now, though, Harry was probably putting up with enough change without being dragged to yet another foreign city let alone country. Besides, it was not as if nothing was going on. Both Halloween and Sirius' twenty-ninth birthday would happen in the holidays.

Sirius had been toying with the idea of buying broomsticks and spending the holidays teaching Harry how to fly – even though Harry had never brought it up again after Sirius promised it weeks ago – but the cold and freezing rain made him change his mind. Those were hardly ideal conditions, even for accomplished flyers, and the last thing he wanted was for Harry to slip off a wet broom.

Therefore, they spent the first couple of days of their holiday mainly lounging in the sitting room and taking the occasional walk outside, getting soaked and covered in mud. Despite this rather uneventful way of spending the days, Harry seemed content.

Sirius had been worried about the lack of things to do for Harry about the house but he need not have. Harry was perfectly content with what little toys he had. This gave Sirius the uncomfortable feeling that it was the peace and security he was enjoying most. Nonetheless, if that was what Harry needed, that would be what he would get.

'What do you think?' Sirius asked Moony on the night before Halloween. 'See them tomorrow?' There was no need to specify. Sirius was absolutely certain that Halloween would in Moony's mind forever be linked with the death of two of his best friends, just like it was in Sirius'.

To his surprise, Moony shook his head.

'Why?'

'It'll be crowded, Padfoot. I haven't checked the _Prophet_ but usually the Ministry's holding some kind of ceremony thing in the graveyard that day, and even if they aren't, there'll be loads of people about. If we took Harry…' He sighed. 'Well, let's just say I doubt very much that he would enjoy that.'

Sirius' face fell. He had been dead set on visiting them. He felt he owed it to them, especially since he had not been able to bring himself to do it ever since he had been to Godric's Hollow with Harry back in September.

'I'm sorry,' said Moony, looking the part.

'Not your fault, is it?' The words came out harsher than he had intended.

Moony shrugged, unfazed by his friend's tone. 'We can go the day after. That's what I always do.'

Sirius heard the pain in his voice and his anger evaporated as quickly as it had come. Moony had been going alone, year after year. 'Yeah,' he muttered. 'That's what _we_ 'll do.'

Moony just nodded, a glint of something in his eye that Sirius could not quite place. It might have been relief, gratitude or even indignation. Still, it did not really matter. After everything that Moony was doing for him and Harry, the least he could do was make sure that he being a good friend, too.

'Does Harry know?' asked Moony, bringing them back to safer territory.

'He hasn't mentioned it but he's definitely seen the date on the headstone – it's not the kind of thing he'd forget now, is it?'

Moony nodded but remained silent. Both of them hung onto their thoughts for a few minutes.

'We should do something,' decided Sirius finally. 'Harry hasn't asked about them, has he?'

Moony shook his head.

'Well, then we should tell him some more. Get photos out and tell stories. That'd be good, right? Remember them?'

Moony agreed with a nod and a sad smile. After that, the prospect of a rather gloomy day ahead made them spend the rest of the evening mostly in silence.

Surprisingly, the sun was shining the next morning, in contrast to the last couple of days when it had been raining almost consistently. Seizing the chance, Moony suggested going for a walk and enjoy the weather. Harry was quiet and since there did not seem to be a trigger beside the obvious, Sirius concluded that yes, Harry definitely did remember the significance of the day.

They returned in time for lunch and afterwards settled in the sitting room, surrounded by all of Moony's pictures. The fact that Sirius could not contribute on its own was enough to put a damper on his mood – all but a handful of his personal belongings were gone and he was very lucky indeed that his wand had not been snapped as well. He did not usually dwell on such things – he had never been overly attached to his possessions – but he felt sorrow for his pictures and letters, anything that had valuable memories attached to it.

It was an odd afternoon, despite the fact that Harry loosened up considerably when he realised that Sirius and Moony had not in fact forgotten that it was the anniversary of his parents' deaths. All three of them were constantly hovering in a state between laughing and crying as the two men shared their best stories about Lily and James. It helped to see Harry's eyes light up at the very mention of them – proof that even though they were gone, they were still very much loved and remembered.

Their session was interrupted around seven that night by a knock on the door, causing them all to look up, frowning. The protection Dumbledore had set up prevented anyone magical from approaching their property. Muggles were admitted, mostly so that the poor postman was able to throw adverts addressed to the previous resident into their letterbox every couple of days. Apart from Dumbledore, there had never been any visitors and Dumbledore would have sent ahead an owl, letting them know he was going to call.

Sirius' hand tightened around his wand and out of the corner of his eye, his saw Moony mirroring the movement. He reminded himself that someone who could break Dumbledore's protections would probably not bother knocking. So, with all likelihood, they were not about to be murdered. Still, on could not be too careful, especially today…

'Stay here,' Sirius said to Moony who seemed reluctant at first but nodded half-heartedly when Sirius rolled his eyes in Harry's direction.

Sirius approached the front door, wand at the ready. He could hear people talking outside.

'… not in, Bennie.' That was a man's voice.

'But the lights are on,' argued a child. 'And Harry said they weren't going away.'

Sirius opened the door with his left hand, his right still clutching his wand tightly. Outside stood two people. He recognised the man after a moment. He knew him from Harry's school, a father. The boy's face had been painted white, obscuring most of his features, and he wore what looked like a bedsheet.

'Trick or treat,' he said, beaming up at Sirius.

'Oh,' breathed Sirius, quickly pushing his wand out of sight. He had not even considered the possibility that someone would come by, looking for sweets. 'Remus?' he called over his shoulder. 'Do we have any sweets?'

'See, Daddy, I told you they were in,' whispered the boy to his father who shushed him.

'Sweets?' Moony appeared in the door to the sitting room. He took in their guests and understood. 'I'll have a look.' He disappeared into the kitchen. Finding treats would not be the problem but Sirius doubted that handing out the likes of chocolate frogs would be that much of a good idea.

'Is Harry in?' asked the boy. 'I wanted to ask if he wants to come trick or treating but we couldn't call you 'cause your number isn't on the class list and you weren't in this morning and Daddy said…' He fell silent as Harry appeared from the sitting room, just like Moony had before him.

'Hi, Bennie,' he mouthed and loitered behind Sirius.

Bennie – who Sirius now recalled was the boy sharing a table with Harry – grinned at him. 'Hi, Harry,' he burst out, talking at a terrific speed. 'Did you hear what I said? You could still come if you want to – we haven't really started yet. You need a costume but Daddy's got face paint so we could make you a zombie or something, with your face all green. Wouldn't that be cool? And we could get loads of sweets 'cause…'

Harry shrunk under the onslaught of words.

'Ben,' interrupted the father, taking note. 'Take it slow.'

'Would you like to go?' asked Sirius, turning to Harry. He very much doubted that this question would be answered with a yes but he wanted the decision to be up to Harry. 'We could fix you up a costume, no problem.'

Harry shook his head by a fraction and then took a step sideways to disappear behind his godfather completely.

'I'm sorry,' said Sirius, mainly talking to the father. He reached behind his back to ruffle Harry's hair. 'It… It's not that much of a good day. We were really just hoping for a quiet evening.'

The man's eyes fixed on his face and Sirius realised with a little twinge that he had been crying and that it probably showed. Before another word was said, however, Moony came back, carrying two bars of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate.

'There we go,' he said, handing them to Ben with a smile. 'No need to trick us now.'

'I wouldn't trick you,' said Ben knowledgably, dropping the sweets into his bag. 'I'd haunt you.'

'Would you now?' answered Moony, taking the bait. 'You know, I don't think _real_ ghosts wear bedsheets.'

'Don't say that,' argued Sirius before Ben could. 'I met one once. He was weird, though, even for a ghost, and they aren't known to be the most balanced and well-adjusted sort, are they?'

Moony frowned at him but went along with it. 'When was that?'

'Must have been when I was about twelve. Regulus and me went off exploring the house at some distant cousin's birthday party. He was probably some great-great-great-uncle of mine or something.'

'How did he die that involved a sheet?' asked Moony, bemused now that he realised that Sirius was telling a true story.

Sirius shrugged. 'I tried to ask but all he kept doing was shouting, "Boo!" and trying to float through me. I don't think he was all that keen on having a conversation, really, and he was getting on our nerves, so we scarpered.'

Moony chuckled and turned back to their visitors. Ben was staring open-mouthed, evidently unsure how to place that story, but his father seemed amused.

Ben shook himself out of his stupor and turned back to Harry. 'Come on, Harry. We can get loads and loads of sweets. It'll be fun. And your daddy said you could go.'

Sirius swallowed at being referred to as Harry's "daddy" but it did not feel right to correct him. He had no idea how Harry would interpret that. He looked down to see that Harry was still looking intimidated even though one of the corners of his mouth had been tugging upwards just a fraction at Sirius' story.

'I want to stay here,' muttered Harry.

To say that Ben looked disappointed would have been an understatement. 'Aw… But why?'

Harry looked to Sirius for help.

'We were planning to have a quiet night, just the three of us,' supplied Moony. 'Some talking and looking at old pictures.'

'But you could do that tomorrow,' Ben started to argue, 'and Halloween's only today and…'

'Ben, Harry's already said no,' interrupted the father. 'I think you should res…'

'But…'

'No but, you asked and he said no and you'll just have to accept that.' He turned his attention back to Sirius. 'We're sorry for disturbing you.'

'That's fine,' Sirius hurried to say. 'It was nice of you to ask.'

Ben pouted at his father but seemed to realise that he had lost. He gave Harry another longing look. 'Do you really not wanna come?'

Harry shook his head. 'No, thank you,' he whispered.

Ben sighed, his shoulders slumping. 'Alright.'

'Say thank you for the chocolate,' prompted the father.

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome,' answered Moony.

'Well, I think we'll leave you in peace then,' said the man. 'Nice meeting you.'

'Likewise.'

'Bye.'

The two visitors turned and started down the garden path as Sirius closed the door. He could hear that the boy had started arguing the moment they had turned their back on the house.

'Are you okay?' Sirius asked Harry.

Harry nodded.

'He was right, you know. We could have done this tomorrow.'

'I'm fine,' muttered Harry and moved back towards the sitting room. 'I didn't want to go.'

'Alright,' Sirius hurried to say and followed him. 'It was all up to you.'

Harry nodded and sank back onto the sofa where he had been sitting earlier. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Sure, anything.' Sirius dropped down next to him while Moony took the armchair.

'Were you just taking the mickey when you talked about ghosts? Or are they real?'

'Oh.' Sirius cleared his throat, realising why Harry was asking. 'They're real but only very few witches and wizards decide to become ghosts. Most… move on.'

Harry nodded, his eyes fixed on one of the numerous pictured of his parents that were piled up on the coffee table. 'And… And Mum and Dad?'

Sirius sighed and slung an arm around Harry's shoulders. 'They didn't become ghosts, Harry.'

'Are you sure? Maybe… Maybe they're just hiding or they haven't found me yet or something.'

'No, Harry, I'm sorry,' he said, speaking as gently as he possibly could. Had Lily and James become ghosts, they would have haunted the hell out of 4 Privet Drive, he was sure. Petunia and Vernon Dursley would not have a moment's peace.

Harry's face fell but it seemed that he was unwilling to give up this glimmer of hope. Sirius felt with him. He, too, would very much have liked them around again, even transparent. 'But why… why wouldn't they stick around if they could?'

'It's people who are afraid of dying who would rather wander the world as a shadow of their living self than move on,' explained Moony. 'Lily and James were brave. Death would not have scared them.'

Harry remained silent.

'Ghosts…' Sirius began. 'Ghosts are never happy, Harry. They are neither dead nor alive. They don't belong here anymore, not really. Trust me – you wouldn't really want that for your Mum and Dad.'

Harry sniffed and leaned into Sirius. 'Sorry.'

Sirius ignored the apology. 'It would be great, wouldn't it?' he said instead. 'Being able to talk to them?'

'Yeah,' said Harry quietly. He sniffed again and picked up one of the photos. 'What about that one?' he asked. His voice was shaking but he was obviously determined to change the topic. 'Who's that, next to Mum?'

-oOo-

The rain was back the next morning so they were huddled up in coats as they apparated to Godric's Hollow. The journey still made Harry a little queasy but given the choice, he had preferred it to two hours on the bike in the rain. One of the advantages of the poor weather was that the village square was near deserted and the few people who hurried along were too keen to get back to shelter to spare them more than a fleeting glance. Nobody would bother them.

The muggle war memorial standing tall at the centre of the square was surrounded by flowers. Moony took a few steps towards it and Sirius opened his mouth to ask why he was taking a detour, straying from the straight line that they had been walking along, directly to the kissing gate that marked the entrance to the graveyard. Then, he saw it.

The obelisk was no longer an obelisk. It had changed into a stone statue – three statues to be exact. The sight of them made Sirius' stomach drop. He had not expected to see their faces, see them smiling at him. He froze but Harry moved forwards steadily, as if he had been hit by a Summoning Charm.

Sirius watched as he approached, carefully avoiding the flowers as he stepped up on the low plinth on which the memorial stood. He reached up to touch his parents' hands were they lay on the knee of the depiction of his younger self.

Sirius and Moony followed more slowly. 'Since when… How… When did they put it here?' asked Sirius.

'For the first anniversary.' Moony spoke quietly, his eyes, too, on Harry who was staring up into the carved faces, standing so still that he might have been one of them. 'They had a big celebration, Bagnold was there and everyone. I think I left about ten minutes in but at least they did a decent job with the statue, I think.'

Sirius scowled at the idea that the day of Lily and James' death had been celebrated but he had to agree that whoever had made the statue had known what they were doing. His eyes clung to James' face, cut into the stone. It really bore a remarkable likeness, as did Lily. The depiction of Baby Harry did not look much like the real little boy had done, and Sirius realised that the artist had most likely worked off photographs, maybe wedding pictures or the ones that had been in the Daily Prophet after their graduation – which would explain why James and Lily seemed a little younger than Sirius remembered them and why Lily's hair had been pinned up, something that she had only ever done for special occasions.

He sighed. 'You could have warned us it was here.' He had been startled so Merlin knew what this would do to Harry.

'I thought you'd seen it when you visited last time.' Moony sounded a little more defensive than he would usually be. Last night, just after Harry had gone to bed, he had set off to work the night shift. He had returned in the early morning, resulting in very little sleep until his alarm had woken him for breakfast.

'Sorry,' muttered Sirius. He tended to let his anger out on Moony at times and usually, that was relatively all right since Moony knew not to take it personally – even if Sirius still felt guilty about it after.

They slowly approached Harry who was still standing motionless, staring up into his parents' faces. His hood prevented Sirius from seeing his face. 'Harry?'

After a few seconds' hesitation, Harry turned around and slumped into him, arms around his waist. Sirius automatically rubbed his back. He did not seem to be crying, which was something. He was bound to be devastated but then, this visit would do that to him. Sirius did not have to cheer him up at the moment. Sad was the only appropriate emotion for this place, he supposed.

'Come one, let's go see them.' With one last look at the stone faces, he turned around, gently nudging Harry to walk along. Moony followed.

The grave, too, was covered in flowers. Before Sirius could, Moony had drawn his wand and wordlessly conjured a bouquet of daisies, dandelions and daffodils that he offered to Harry.

'She never liked lilies,' he explained, making Harry glance down at all the wreaths and bouquets that piled up on the grave. Most of them were lilies, many of them white. 'She thought it was a horribly unimaginative idea to give them to her.'

Harry nodded and took the flowers that Moony was still holding out for him.

'James used to give her bunches and bunches of roses,' Sirius continued Moony's story. 'And then Lily told him he wasn't putting in the effort 'cause he could just conjure them up with a flick of his wand. So he marched out of the castle and picked every single flower he came across…'

'… and she still refused to go out with him,' added Moony with a small chuckle. 'But when she did, eventually, he still only ever gave her flowers that he'd picked himself.'

Harry prodded one of the daffodils as if to check if it was real. 'Maybe we could pick some for her, too?' he suggested.

'It's November, Harry,' Sirius reminded him gently. Harry's face fell. 'But as soon as we can find any, we'll bring them here, alright?'

Harry nodded and knelt down, pushing some lilies aside to make space for the new flowers right underneath the names. 'I hope you like them, Mum,' he whispered. 'Sirius and Remus told me a lot about you and Dad. We looked at all the pictures that Remus…'

'Come on,' muttered Sirius and nudged Moony to walk away. Harry had not talked to them the last time they had been here. Maybe it had been because the focus had been too much on the then unknown factor that was Sirius. Maybe he had not known what to say to them then – Harry still did not talk much about his life before he had moved in with Sirius. He probably would not have wanted to tell them about that.

They split up and Sirius began to walk up and down the rows of tombstones, reading the names without remembering them, all the while watching Harry from the corner of his eye without coming close enough to hear what he was saying. He caught the occasional word, though. He seemed to be talking about the daytrips they had been on, about school, about everything that was going on… Sirius' name came up a few times, as did Moony's.

Eventually, he pushed himself up again and Sirius took that as a sign that he was allowed to approach. He stroked Harry's head, or at least his hood. Harry leaned into the touch. They stood in silence for a few minutes.

Harry began to shiver after a while.

'Cold?' asked Sirius, concerned.

Harry shrugged, which meant that he had to be freezing. If he was willing to acknowledge discomfort, it had to be quite immense.

'Let's get you home, then,' said Moony who had been standing to Harry's other side. He caught Sirius' eye. 'Do you need another moment, Padfoot?'

Sirius looked to Harry. 'Would that be alright?' he asked him. 'Moony and you can go ahead and I'll be there in a bit?'

After a moment's hesitation – which was probably down to reluctance to leave Sirius on his own rather than not wanting to go with Moony – he nodded.

'Bye, Dad, bye, Mum,' he whispered, running a finger over the gravestone before taking Moony's hand.

-oOo-

 _There we go, another chapter done :-)_

 _I don't know how long the next one will take but it might well be another few weeks. Like I said, I've been busy :-)_

 _Please tell me what you think :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Hello everyone :)_

 _I had a lot on the last few weeks (yay!) but I just couldn't go the whole month without uploading anything._

 _Thanks for your reviews! They regularly make my day :)_

-oOo-

Sirius watched Moony and Harry walk off and then turned to Lily and James' grave again. 'He's living with me now,' he told them, feeling a little ridiculous as he did. He knew they were not listening. They probably had better things to do but maybe, on the off chance… 'He probably told you, huh?' He paused, not knowing what else to say.

'So, what's new with you? Busy over there? Never ending party? Or is it just people in white robes, sitting in green meadows and being all serene and mysterious? I bet you'd mess that up, right, Prongs? You never were one for calm and silence…' He broke off, the banter suddenly feeling very wrong. How had Harry managed to do this? He tried again differently.

'This whole parent thing is quite hard – not that I'm complaining, mind. I know you'd give anything to do it, just… It's more difficult than I imagined. Harry's brilliant, absolutely… but… he just seems so scared a lot of the time. I know it's probably not my fault but… Well, I hate to think that I could have done something to make it easier for him but messed it up somehow.'

He sighed and stared at flowers that covered the ground under which they lay. He did not know how to feel about that. It was clear that most people who had been here had never met either of them. Was it good that so many people remembered them? Or was it an insult to their memory that people thought they knew them when in reality, they had only read about their deaths in the papers?

'I… I hope you're happy. I'm doing my best for Harry and Moony's helping, so you probably don't need to worry about him. Moony and I told him loads of stuff about you and so I guess he's got a bit of an idea what you're… you were like. He misses you… So do I. We all do, I suppose.'

He swallowed some tears even though it probably did not matter either way. The Impervious Charm on his clothes was wearing off and he was slowly getting soaked. A few tears would not make a difference.

'His eyes look so much like yours, Lily, but he's got the puppy-dog look down quite a lot better than you ever did. I suppose I'm lucky he doesn't know yet, otherwise he could probably get me to do anything… He's got your face, Prongs, complete with all your expressions. He must think I'm a seer or something but you're so similar, and I could always tell what you were thinking. I guess that's a good thing…'

He knew that he was rambling but he did not mind much. Thinking out loud when he did not have to feel like a lunatic for doing it was quite relieving, actually. It got easier the longer he talked and he kept going, telling them about what had been happening lately. If they could hear him, they would be begging for details about Harry, he knew that. If they could not… well, then at least he had tried, and really, what did he have to lose?

Sirius returned home eventually and after a hot shower, the afternoon was not as bleak as he had dreaded. Moony disappeared after lunch to have a short nap but when Sirius sent Harry to check on him an hour later, the boy reported that Moony was still fast asleep. They decided to leave him alone – he had another night shift ahead of him but then luckily had all of Sirius' birthday off because he was switching to the early shift for the following week.

Since they had had enough of the rain, Sirius and Harry spent the afternoon teaching themselves some card games from one of the many books of Moony's that had somehow found their way out of his room and been scattered all over the house.

Moony woke up in time for dinner and Harry spent the meal quizzing them on all sorts of magical games, leading to Sirius promising to get hold of a set of gobstones the next time he was at Diagon Alley.

They were having fun and since it was the holidays, Sirius allowed Harry to stay up until Moony left for work just before ten. By then, his eyelids were getting heavy and he voluntarily got changed and ready for bed as soon as he had hugged Moony goodbye. Sirius had read him barely a page of their current book when he fell asleep.

On his own now, Sirius did not know what to do with himself. They rain had eased off and he quite fancied some exercise to clear his mind but he could not leave Harry. He spent a few minutes tidying until he found the magazines that he and Harry had picked up a few days ago at the Super Market.

They usually did their shopping in the muggle world by now. Every Tuesday and Saturday, Diagon Alley would widen to make space for dozens of stalls, laden heavily with the produce of farms all over the country, where most of the magical world would buy their groceries – or send their house-elves to do it, like Sirius' parents always had.

Both Sirius and Moony had been a few times but it was rather inconvenient – they could not take Harry along and quite a few of the things Harry was used to (such as fish fingers and frozen pizzas) were not available there. Both men felt little enthusiasm for muggle food but if it made Harry happy, they were more than content to go along with it. Besides, those Super Market places were fascinating things.

At their latest visit, Harry had longingly eyed the shelf with the magazines. When Sirius prompted him, he had stammered a query whether he might have one. Sirius had of course agreed instantly, inviting him to pick a few and had himself taken a few magazines, mainly ones that featured motorcycles on the cover. There had also been one that promised an exclusive on werewolves that he had picked out for Moony as a joke and now skimmed, chuckling occasionally. Then, he moved on to one of Harry's comics that featured poultry in weird clothes – which proved surprisingly entertaining.

Eventually, he felt tired enough and decided to go to bed. The clock on the wall showed that it was past two in the morning, which was not good. Moony would most likely sleep all morning but Harry was bound to be up early and Sirius would have to make him breakfast. He yawned.

He felt like he had barely closed his eyes when he was nudged awake and found Harry standing by his bed. 'Hm?' he muttered sleepily. 'You okay?'

Harry shivered and shrugged. 'Had a dream,' he told him.

Sirius nodded and shuffled to make space for him on the bed. His room was cold – he always cracked the window these days, unable to bear the feeling of being in a closed room. 'Wanna talk about it?' Harry did not seem unduly distressed so he supposed that it had not been anything too horrible.

Harry snuggled against him, his back against Sirius' chest so that the top of his head was tucked under Sirius' chin. 'Mum and Dad were there,' he said. 'They smiled at me but then they were gone.'

'Oh,' said Sirius, not sure what to answer to that, but Harry remained silent so he had to come up with something. 'I've had dreams like that,' he told him. 'I don't like them that much. They make you feel lonely, don't they?'

'Yeah…' muttered Harry pensively. 'But I don't think they're bad dreams. I like it when I dream about Mum and Dad 'cause then I can talk to them and that's nice. It's just not so nice when I wake up and then they're gone…'

Sirius' heart clenched. He kissed Harry's head to indicate that he had understood. 'What do you talk to them about?' he asked, hoping that this topic might provide some comfort.

'I told them about you,' answered Harry promptly. 'About how we play together and how you got me Dragon and how Remus always asks me what I want for dinner.'

'And what did they say?'

Harry took a little longer to answer that. 'Daddy said he is better at Exploding Snap than you. He said that I'm supposed to practise so that I can beat you, too. And Mummy said I'm really lucky that Remus is cooking for me 'cause he can make really yummy things.' He paused. 'Do you think they'd really say something like that?'

'It sounds like them,' said Sirius, and it did. 'Your dad always lied and said he was better than me at all the games we played…' Harry would be able to hear the teasing tone in that. '… and your mum always said nice things about people.'

Harry sighed contentedly. 'Once, I dreamt that I was really sleepy,' he told Sirius, his voice slowly taking on a little slur that indicated he was about to fall asleep. 'And Mum and Dad were already in bed so I climbed in right between them. And then Dad hugged me and his chin was all scratchy just like yours and then Mum kissed my forehead just like you do and then they both said they love me just like… like… and then we all fell asleep…' He fell silent and just a few seconds later, his breathing slowed and became deeper.

'That sounds like a very nice dream,' muttered Sirius, knowing that Harry would not hear him anymore. He was not quite sure what to make of what he had just been told.

-oOo-

Harry rose early the next morning and inadvertently woke Sirius when trying to slip out of the bed for a visit to the loo. He forced himself not to go back to sleep but get up and make breakfast instead – which took quite some effort seeing as he had had barely four hours of sleep. Harry seemed to sense that he was tired and not in a particularly good mood, and was quiet all morning, reading and colouring by himself. He had not even asked Sirius to play together.

Moony got up for lunch – he had returned when they had still been asleep – and announced that he and Harry would be going out to do some shopping.

Sirius did his best to take this as the harmless occurrence it was. In fact, it was a very good thing – it was his birthday tomorrow, so the secrecy meant that he would be in for a surprise. There was not much else he expected of the next day. It was hardly worth having a party when the only two people he could invite were already living with him. Moony never had much cash and Harry only had access to a few quid of pocket money so Sirius knew not to expect much in the direction of presents.

'What are you going to get me?' he asked Harry, trying his best to hide the dark thoughts that began to cloud his mind.

Harry looked to Moony for support and then shook his head. 'I'm not telling,' he announced.

Sirius made a show of pouting at him. 'Pretty please?' he tried again.

Harry shook his head once more, a little grin creeping onto his face. 'It's a surprise,' he insisted.

Moony chuckled and ruffled Harry's hair affectionately. 'Well done, Harry,' he praised him proudly. 'See you in a bit, Padfoot?'

Harry was too busy beaming up at Moony at the approval to take much note of Sirius but when he nodded, Sirius believed to see a trace of concern in Moony's gaze. He ignored it.

When the door clicked shut behind the two of them, Sirius felt as if the house was tightening around him, the wall crowding him, making it hard to breathe. He started pacing, telling himself that he was being idiotic, that he had no reason to feel unwell. That did not help, though.

Eventually, he could not bear the silence and warmth around himself any longer. He scribbled a hasty note, saying he had gone for a walk. He transformed almost as soon as he slammed the front door shut behind himself and took off at a run, leaping over the fence rather than bothering with the gate.

Moving helped, as did not being a human. He enjoyed the cool breeze of fresh air against his nose. He spent quite a while focusing on what he could smell as he ran across the bare fields – a few foxes, a whole host of rabbits and even the occasional dog with its owner that had been around since the rain had stopped a few hours ago.

He focused on his breathing, on the rhythm of his paws as they squelched in the mud and for a while, his mind cleared.

Nonetheless, eventually, he had to slow down. The dog he became was in much better physical condition as his human body but it was not inexhaustible. As his legs began to shake under the weight of his body and every breath burnt like fire in his lungs, he was forced to fall into a slow walk. Time was hard to assess as a dog but judging by the distance he had covered at least a good hour or two had to have passed. He had done his best to stay clear of humans and all their traces but he had had to cross a few roads and made detours to avoid villages. His head began to drown now that his thoughts were no longer occupied with running.

Dogs were not quite capable to understand the concept of death but they did understand loss and the pain it brought. Slowly stumbling to a halt, Sirius let out a pained howl that echoed loudly through the forest he was currently passing through. It helped to release the weight that pressed down on him but only by a fraction. He howled again and again, letting Prongs' loss sound between the trees. It lifted some of the weight.

Suddenly, he smelled something approaching. A human and a dog, and Sirius had no desire to meet them. Unable to run on his now aching legs, he turned back into a man and disapparated on the spot.

After a few seconds of suffocating darkness, he found himself in the one place he most desired to be yet resented above all. The graveyard in Godric's Hollow, right where Prongs lay, forever cold and still, just like the last time Sirius had seen him. His glasses had been askew and with a stray thought, he wondered whether he had been buried with them or not.

His legs gave in almost immediately and he sank to his knees on the wet gravel, letting out a choked scream that came as close as anything could to his earlier howls while he was a human.

Here, it was pouring down with rain, soaking his thin robes almost instantly. He had not bothered with a cloak and he could not get himself to regret it. The cold water stung on his back, giving him something to cling to.

Prongs. James and Lily.

He did not know why it hit him so hard today. Maybe it was just the anniversary. Maybe it was the prospect of a birthday without them. Prongs had been there for every one of his birthdays he liked to remember.

For his twelfth, he, Moony and Peter and snuck into the kitchen to make a cake for him. It had been a horrible thing with a burnt crust and a completely uncooked centre, smothered under an inch-thick layer of vibrantly red and gold icing, with too little sugar and big lumps of flour all through the dough – yet still it had still tasted better than every fancy cake his mother had ever made Kreacher bake for him in hours of meticulous work.

Sirius bent down, face against his knees, arms slung around his head. Prongs was gone, lost forever – as was Peter, who had once been so sweet and kind, always willing to listen, always prepared to help. With the thought of him came rage. Sirius had never been a stranger to great anger, had started to resent his parents before he had ever stepped a foot into Hogwarts. Still, this was a new dimension. He was not sure that even his hatred for Voldemort was as intense as the feeling of betrayal.

He screamed again, the sound muffled by the fabric of his damp robes.

'Sir?'

His head snapped up, his eyes taking a few moments to focus. It took him another few seconds to recognise what he was looking at.

Before him stood a man in his sixties or seventies, lined face and grey hair. He wore robes and for a second, Sirius thought he was facing a fellow wizard until took note of the white rectangle showing at his black collar where the knot of a tie should be. A muggle, one of the ones who worked in churches. This one was holding an umbrella in one hand and a steaming mug in the other.

He held out the beverage and – in his still dazed state – Sirius grabbed it. The warm crockery felt like scorching iron in his numb and frozen fingers.

'Tea,' said the man with a kind smile. 'There's more over at the vicarage…' He gestured behind himself to the small cottage that bordered the graveyard, adjacent to the church. '… and a nice fire.'

Sirius took a few seconds to understand what he was saying. With a small start, he realised that he was still kneeling and pushed himself to his feet unsteadily, doing his best not to spill the hot tea over his fingers.

'You are more than welcome to come in and warm up. You must be frozen to the bone.'

Sirius shook his head. If he wanted to warm up, he could go home.

The man nodded and his gaze wandered to the tombstone they were standing in front of. 'Friends of yours, I take it?' he asked.

Sirius nodded heavily. 'My brother,' he said and his voice broke, turning the words into a croak.

The old man inclined his head. 'Some losses are hard to deal with, even after a long time. The pain never really stops when we miss those we love most.'

Sirius nodded again, unsure of what to reply to that. In search of something to do, he began to lift the mug he was still holding to his lips but somewhere in the depth of his mind, someone seemed to growl "Constant vigilance!" and he lowered it again. He did not know this man. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his free hand.

'Are you sure you wouldn't like to come in? There's an open ear, too, if you'd like…'

Sirius shook his head. 'No, no, I… I've got two of those waiting for me at home. Thanks but… but I really should go. I've been gone a lot longer than I intended…' He handed the cup back. 'Thanks for the tea, and your offer. I appreciate it.'

The man nodded. 'Take care, Sir.'

Sirius nodded and turned around, leaving the graveyard behind at the brisk pace, the gaze of the muggle prickling on his back. He turned a few corners before he dared to apparate, the cold truly sinking into his flesh now. He apparated home.

Moony stuck his head out of the previously closed kitchen door almost as soon as he stepped into the hall. 'Are you okay?' he asked, blocking Sirius' view of the room behind him but the smell of a cake streamed out into the hall anyway.

Sirius nodded, doing his best to smile. 'I'll just have a shower. I'm freezing.'

Moony seemed concerned but let him go with a nod. The shower helped him warm up, both physically and emotionally, at least in part. He still felt as if a dementor was breathing down his neck.

When he descended the stairs, Harry and Moony had moved to the sitting room. The door to the kitchen stood open but the room bore no trace that someone had been baking in it, only the smell still hanging around.

Sirius sank down on the sofa and was very glad when Harry decided to scoot over onto his lap. He was reading again, yet another book that he had to have gotten from Moony. This one, like all the others, was yellowed with age. Sirius guessed that it was either one of the books that Moony himself had read as a boy or that it stemmed from a used books sale where Moony usually picked them up for a few pence each. Harry did not seem to mind either way.

'Is that a good one?'

Harry shrugged thoughtfully. 'I don't know until I know how it ends,' he told Sirius.

'I see.' He leaned back and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He hardly noticed that he drifted off, listening to the sounds around him. Harry chuckled occasionally at whatever he read. Moony's paper rustled as he turned the pages.

'Remus?' Harry's voice tugged him back towards consciousness but not forcefully enough to fully wake him. He was no longer sitting on the sofa, and Harry was no longer on his lap. Instead, he seemed to be lying on his side.

'Yes?'

'Is Sirius ill?'

Moony sighed. 'In a way.'

'Why? Is it because of the monsters, the ones that were at the prison and are still in his head sometimes?'

'Yes, I think so – for the most part, at least.'

'How are they making him sick?'

Moony sighed again, even deeper this time. 'He gets quite sad sometimes, about many things. At the moment, I think he's missing your mum and dad.'

Harry remained silent for a while and only spoke when Sirius was about to drift off again.

'He… I think Sirius misses them more than me. I don't miss them that much – well, I do miss them, of course, but not so much since…' He paused. 'Do… Do you think they'd be angry with me for not missing them as much anymore?'

Someone moved. 'No, of course not, Harry. They would never want anyone to be sad on their account. Harry, you were too young to remember them properly. It only makes sense that Sirius misses them in a very different way. He was very, very close with your dad. They were best friends.'

'Hm,' muttered Harry before silence fell over the room once more, and Sirius sank back into darkness.

 _Prongs grinned at him broadly. Harry was standing next to him, watching the two men._

' _What about it, Padfoot?' asked Prongs. 'Galleon to whoever catches him first?'_

 _Harry eyes widened and as soon as Sirius nodded, he jumped backwards, laughing hard. 'I'm fast!' he shouted as he darted away through the back garden of the Potter's cottage. 'You won't catch me!'_

 _Sirius and Prongs took off after him, putting at least as much effort into hindering each other as running towards the boy who was waving cheerfully at them from across the lawn._

When he woke, he was feeling better. Some sleep seemed to have done the trick. That, and probably the fact that it had been Harry's laugh that had woken him up.

Harry seemed determined to cheer him up and Sirius wondered whether that had anything to do with the conversation he had overheard – or had he just dreamed that? Either way, it was impossible not to smile at Harry. Thus, the evening proved quite joyful but Sirius' mood dwindled once Harry was in bed.

He put off going to sleep himself. His nightmares had been easing off ever so slightly over the last couple of days. They still woke him up but they did not shake him nearly as badly as the one he referred to in his head as "the big one". He had taken the precaution of soundproofing Harry's room at night, making sure that he was not disturbed. He had done the same to Moony's room at first but that had not gone unnoticed and Moony had made a habit of removing the spells before he went to sleep. To save them both the effort, Sirius had given in.

Still, the dreams returned that night with a vengeance. All he remembered when Moony shook him awake was being surrounded in the dark, tall figures looming over him. He was not sure whether it had been dementors, or Death Eaters, or Prongs who regularly turned up to give him accusing looks… maybe it had been all of them.

What he knew was that he would not be able to go back to sleep. His alarm showed two in the morning, meaning that he had been in bed for hardly more than an hour. He waved off Moony's well-meant offers of help and instead sent him back to bed while he descended the stairs and spent an hour restlessly pacing the sitting room. What a way to start his birthday…

He did not remember any of his birthdays after his twenty-second, which had been the first full day in Azkaban. Inside a cell, it was barely possible to tell the seasons apart, not to mention keeping track of days and weeks. When he had been released, Sirius had not even been able to venture a guess at the number of years – all he had known was that it had felt like a lifetime. The latest birthday he recalled he had spent violently sobbing in his cell and every one since was lost in the long period of grey that was all he could remember of the last seven years.

All that time was lost forever. He would be twenty-nine, for Merlin's sake! That was only a year short of thirty, and thirty sounded so old! He had been supposed to do something in his twenties, throw awesome parties and change the world. He had been planning to conquer the hearts of a few dozen witches – a part of his life that had once been important but that he barely spared a thought these days.

Eventually, he got fed up with himself. He had half a mind to go outside and run as Padfoot again until he was tired enough to go back to sleep but he could not bring himself to put any kind of distance between himself and Harry.

He decided to check on the child who was peacefully slumbering, oblivious to Sirius hovering in the door. Before he knew it – curtesy to a split-second decision – he ended up curled up as a dog at the foot of Harry's bed. If that did not help against nightmares, he did not know what would.

Indeed, he was able to sleep for a couple of hours and when he woke up, he felt very well rested considering the awful night he had had.

Moony and Harry presented him with a cake for breakfast, one decorated with an impressive amount of icing and sprinkles, making Sirius conclude that Harry had been in charge of decorating it. The twenty-nine candles gave Sirius a little stab but he pushed it away and blew them out in one.

'What did you wish for?' asked Harry, who was fidgeting next to him. He was blissfully excited and had almost burst with pride when Sirius had praised the appearance of the cake.

Sirius had not bothered making a wish, knowing that the only thing he really wanted was quite impossible. 'Nothing,' he told him truthfully. 'I've got everything I can ever have.'

'Oh,' said Harry, his face falling. He seemed to get the implication and his face bore an air of understanding, of understanding a lot better than Sirius wanted him to. Nonetheless, he was happy to be distracted and accept a piece of cake. 'I made you a card,' he told Sirius when they had all swallowed the first mouthful. 'Do you want to see it?'

'Sure,' answered Sirius, amused at how happy he seemed at the prospect of giving a present. Then again, he realised with another turn of his stomach, Harry had probably not had many people to give presents to until now.

The card was hand-drawn, bearing a large number 203 on the front.

'That's 'cause you're a dog and you'd be that old in dog years,' Harry explained, beaming.

Sirius nodded, his breath catching. He looked to Moony, wondering whether he had told him, and got a shake of his head as an answer. He pulled a startled Harry into a hug.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad!'

Sirius blinked a few times and cleared his throat before he could answer. 'I'm not sad. You just reminded me of your dad just then.' Prongs had always liked to change his age into dog years. For his twentieth, he had actually decorated the cake that he had made Lily bake with 140 candles. "Yet you still behave like a twelve-year-old," Lily had joked when he had blown them out. Sirius had stuck his tongue out at her for that.

They went outside after they had finished their food and spent a couple of hours playing in the garden – most of the time as a dog in Sirius' case. Moony disappeared at some point to make lunch – roast chicken, Sirius' favourite. After he had polished off two rather large helpings, he collapsed onto the couch and barely even noticed when Harry cuddled up next to him.

'You need to stop sleeping during the day,' Moony let him know when he woke him up a few hours later. Sirius just growled as a response. It was hardly his fault that he could not sleep at night.

Sirius had decided to take the others out for dinner, so they apparated to London. They opted for a pizza place, not a chain restaurant but not particularly fancy, either. The food was nice and they had fun.

The waiter ended up treating Harry to a scoop complementary ice cream – because he had been on perfect behaviour, apparently, unlike the child at their neighbouring table who looked a year or two Harry's senior but threw a tantrum when she realised that the restaurant did not serve macaroni-cheese. Harry was practically glowing with pride at that, especially when Moony and Sirius both winked at him.

'So,' asked Moony when he and Sirius sat alone in the living room after Harry was in bed. 'Want to talk about it?'

'I'm fine.'

Moony sighed deeply. 'Of course you are.'

Sirius glared at him.

'I won't sit by and watch as you drown in whatever it is that's bothering you,' Moony told him threateningly. 'I don't expect you to be okay tomorrow but I want you to talk to me. That is not optional, do you understand?'

Sirius kept glaring at him but Moony held his gaze. They were both equally capable of being stubborn but Moony was right, and they both knew it. Sirius sighed. 'Fine…'

Moony sipped his tea contentedly. 'So, where were you yesterday afternoon?'

-oOo-

 _So, that was it. I hope you enjoyed it. It was a long one and rather on the heavy side but I like it this way. What do you think?_

 _DFTBA!_


	17. Chapter 17

_Hello :)_

 _Here I am again, at long last._

 _Thanks for all your lovely reviews and alerts and favourites. Every email notification makes me smile, and lovely comments in particular :)_

-oOo-

Sirius had signed the slip saying that he would be attending the parents' evening and given it to Harry to hand back to the teacher before the holidays. That had been almost two weeks ago – within which he had gotten increasingly nervous about the event. He was not sure what was awaiting him and he wished that Moony would come along – which he obviously could not, since one of them needed to stay home with Harry.

'You could go instead,' Sirius suggested on Monday evening as they were preparing dinner. Harry was upstairs in his room – behaviour that Sirius could only describe as "hiding".

He had not voiced it but was obviously terrified of what Sirius might be told later that night – though what exactly that could be, nobody seemed to know. It had not helped, however, that Harry had ripped his trousers that day during break time. Sirius had shrugged off the incident and Moony had easily repaired the damage but Harry remained in a state of unease.

Sirius had tried going upstairs and keeping him company but that had not been particularly successful. As of right now, his strategy mostly consisted of pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary – it did not seem to be doing much good but as it did not do any harm, either, he had deemed it worth giving a shot.

'We both know you'd be better at this than me, Moony,' he continued the conversation.

Moony laughed and shook his head. 'You're his godfather, so you're the one who needs to go. They might not even tell me anything, seeing as I'm not legally entitled to know.'

'I could write you a note, saying I'm giving you permission…'

'No,' said Moony firmly. 'Suck it up, Padfoot. It's a parents' evening, not a congregation of mountain trolls and so long as you're polite, nobody'll think ill of you. Besides, everyone knows you're new to the parent thing anyway, don't they?' He considered Sirius' expression and sighed. 'Just act inconspicuous and it'll be fine. Also, since you seem so worried about making a good impression, how would it look if I turned up instead? It'd probably be the worst thing to do if you don't want to be talked about. No, you'll do okay.'

Sirius shrugged grudgingly and gave up. He was not convinced – especially of his ability to act "inconspicuously" – but he was fighting a lost battle. 'Harry, tea's ready!' he called up the stairs instead.

Harry appeared almost instantly, thundering down the stairs at top speed. It seemed that he had arrived at the "twitchy and silent" stage of his anxiety – which included instant obedience, as Sirius knew all too well. Harry always listened but he had learned that Sirius would not be upset if he took the time to put a bookmark in his book before coming downstairs. Most days, he remembered that. Not today, though, Sirius guessed.

'Harry.' Sirius caught Harry as he made to slip through the door and pulled him into a hug, ignoring the little flinch on Harry's part at the sudden closeness. 'Calm, please, okay?'

Harry nodded jerkily. 'I'm sorry,' he gave his standard answer.

Sirius sighed and gave up on that battle, too. He would probably only freak Harry out further if he kept trying. He squeezed him once more and let go.

Dinner was a mostly silent affair as Moony was the only one at the table who was not dreading what was going to happen in the next couple of hours. Harry barely ate which in turn made Sirius edgy. He tried not to let it show, though. It would only cause Harry to become even jumpier – a vicious circle, really.

The parents evening was due to start at eight, which meant that Harry was supposed to be in his pyjamas by the time Sirius would leave. Given his current state, though, Sirius very much doubted there was a point sending him to bed. He exchanged a look with Moony and saw that they had both reached that conclusion.

Sirius hugged Harry goodbye. 'Harry, I _promise_ there's nothing you need to be scared of,' he tried one last time. 'And I keep my promises, don't I?'

Harry nodded weakly.

'Okay then. Now, you have fun with Moony, and I'll tell you everything when I come back, alright?'

Harry nodded again. For a second, it looked like he was about to say something but not a sound left his mouth.

Sirius booked that as a partial win – well, a tiny one. At least it was not an apology. He released Harry who stepped back, only to collide with Moony who shook his head when Harry opened his mouth to apologise and laid a hand on his shoulder.

'You know, there's a programme about dragons on the WWN tonight. Shall we listen to that?'

A shadow of excitement crossed Harry's face and he nodded, for one moment forgetting that he was supposed to be mortified – only for a split second, though, and then he was back to looking just as he had before.

Trying to suppress a frown, Sirius nodded to Moony to say goodbye and got a nod in return. He always hated it to know that he could do nothing to help Harry – which was the case at the moment. Hugging, soothing, promising – nothing would reassure him just now. Leaving him was the only option, and he _loathed_ it. He sighed as he began to stride briskly towards the village, thankful for the frosty autumn air. It made it easier to breathe.

Harry was in the safest hands, he told himself. Moony would do anything in his power to appease Harry and if anyone was a calming influence, it was him. In a common rush of gratitude, Sirius wondered once again what he would do without him. He could not possibly do the parent thing alone and odd as it sounded, he could not think of anyone he would rather do it with than Moony.

He walked into the village, aware that people would be watching him tonight – well, most days, really, even though the majority of people had stopped to stare a while ago. He no longer got much attention for doing something as mundane as picking Harry up from school – people were expecting him to do that – but whenever they did some shopping or stopped by the playground, they still attracted more attention than he bargained for.

And tonight, many eyes would be on him. Generally, he had no problem with being at the centre of attention – on the contrary, he had been known to enjoy that a little too much at times – but he did mind when he was not entirely sure what he was doing and the way other people thought about Harry was at stake. He did not want Harry's classmates to start teasing him because their parents told them that his godfather had made a fool of himself at the parents' evening.

The school was lit up brightly and Sirius was far from the only one walking towards it. It seemed that it was not only the guardians of Year 4 who had been called in, but all the parents. He followed the stream of people into the building and made his way towards Harry's classroom that was already filled with chattering parents.

Sirius nodded a few greetings and found himself a place to stand by one of the windows, about halfway to the back of the room. All the chairs had already been taken but he could not quite bring himself to regret not having arrived earlier.

As he looked around, he guessed that most people in the room were older than him, in their mid-thirties by the looks of them. It felt more than half a decade, though. They had all been parents for eight or nine years, the vast majority would be married, have a job…

'Hello,' said a voice, and it took him a moment to realise that someone was talking to him. The noise level was high with dozens of conversations, people raising their voices to communicate of the chatter.

'Hello,' he answered automatically. A woman was standing in front of him, effectively backing him against the wall. He shook off that thought. She was shorter than him by half a foot, her dark brown hair brushing remarkably broad shoulders.

'I'm Marlene Cattleman; I'm chairwoman for the parent's committee for Year Four.' She gave him a toothy smile. 'I haven't seen you before so you must be Mr Evans?'

'I'm Sirius Black,' said Sirius, shaking her proffered hand. Her face fell a little, confused. 'I'm Harry's godfather,' he hurried to explain. 'Nice to meet you.'

Her smile returned. 'Oh, good, you had me doubting myself for a moment there. I've known all the parents for four years now – well, longer than that for most, to be honest. My Danny met most of his classmates in the playground when they were still in nappies. It's what a small place like this does, isn't it? How about you, what brings you here?' A little taken aback by the speed with which she spat out the words, Sirius took a second to answer.

He found himself forced to make small talk and did his best to be polite and stick to the truth whenever he could, all the while trying to steer the conversation towards her whenever possible. As it happened, she seemed very happy to talk about herself and he found himself nodding along. The least he could say, he supposed, was that at this speed at least he would not be the subject of gossip for the next month.

All in all, however, he was relieved when Mr Clark stood next to the teacher's desk and raised his voice. 'Good evening!' The noise level dropped and people turned to face the front. 'Good evening. Welcome to our first parents' evening of the year…'

Sirius listened as Mr Clark introduced himself and told them what would be happening that night, determined not to embarrass himself. They were given an overview of what would be happening in class for the next few weeks and told that afterwards, he would talk to the parents about their kids in detail. He taught most of the subjects but Harry had a few other teachers as well, who would be in the assembly hall should Sirius want to talk to them, too.

When Mr Clark finished talking after about half an hour, the room once more descended into noise. People resumed their conversations and got up from their seats, moving towards the door. Mr Clark had announced that he would talk to everyone in alphabetical order and as Harry was attending the school under the name "Evans", Sirius simply decided to stick around until it was his turn. Consequently, he spent the next twenty minutes inspecting the artwork on the walls of the corridor outside, looking for pictures of Harry's.

'Ah, yes, Mr Black,' said Mr Clark with a smile when Sirius sat down opposite him. 'I'm glad you could make it.'

Sirius nodded but did not know what to reply to that. It did sound a little ominous, he had to admit.

'As I told Harry, there's nothing to worry about. I'd just like to discuss how he is settling in with us.'

'Oh, thank Merlin,' said Sirius, genuinely relieved. 'He's been… well… worried.'

Mr Clark smiled sympathetically even though one of his eyebrows wandered upwards in what looked like confusion. 'Alright. Well, Harry is doing well in all subjects. He took a few days to adapt to our system but the transition has gone as well as could have been expected. He has shown himself to be perceptive and very eager to learn. In my classes, I have not had to call him to order even once. He is not talking out of turn, nor has he ever been late or failed to do his homework. Academically, I'm very glad to say that there is nothing to complain about.'

Sirius nodded. He had expected as much – seeing as Harry was being a model son at home it was only reasonable to assume that he would also be a model pupil. Nonetheless, he was sensing a "But".

'I am a little worried,' said Mr Clark, speaking a little more carefully now, 'that the pressure to do well at school is affecting his ability to make friends.' He paused, waiting for Sirius' reaction.

Sirius tensed. 'I… Well…' He had never pressured Harry – at least, he had never wanted to. He could not recall saying anything that would make Harry think he had to do particularly well at school. He assumed that this simply part of Harry's continued desire not to disappoint Sirius – which was entirely pointless, as Sirius knew. He could not care less about Harry's grades – well, he probably could but so long as Harry did reasonably okay he would never want him to worry about it. Muggle primary school was nothing anybody in the magical world would be interested in.

'Of course it is important for a child to do their best,' said Mr Clark in an apologetic tone, obviously misinterpreting Sirius' silence. 'And I would be lying if I said that teaching a pupil as well behaved is not a pleasure…'

'No,' interrupted Sirius. 'No, I… I've never told him to put more effort into his work. In fact, I'd be very relieved if he kicked a fuss about bedtime or not wanting to eat Brussel sprouts or if I got called in by you for some prank he pulled. I've tried to tell him that it doesn't matter to me, even if he failed a few tests, but he's terrified that I'll think badly of him.'

'Oh,' said Mr Clark with a comprehending smile. 'Well, I'm very glad we're on the same page. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'd delight in having to call you in because of bad behaviour but I do think that Harry could benefit from a more relaxed attitude. In the long run, a healthy outlook on life will do him more good than an A in his Year 4 maths exams.' He winked at Sirius conspiratorially. 'But don't tell anyone I've said that.'

Sirius chuckled, relaxing. 'Good, well, is there anything I could do short term?' Going home and telling Harry that he was not being naughty enough at school would not help in any way, Sirius was sure. 'I'm hoping that Harry will eventually realise that I'll love him no matter what but I hate to see him agonise over it.'

'I'd say to seize every opportunity you get to reassure him…'

Sirius nodded. 'Yeah, I've been trying to do that.'

'… but I'm afraid I don't know any immediate solutions, either. Trust does not seem to be something that comes easily to Harry. I myself tried my best to appease him when I saw how distressed he became when he realised that I wanted to talk to you. May I ask whether you know of any reason why that would be?'

'Yes,' said Sirius, trying to keep that anger in check that immediately welled up at the thought of the Dursleys. 'He lived with his aunt and uncle until recently. They were… Well, they were very clear in expressing that their nephew was of no value to them.'

That put it mildly but Mr Clark nodded compassionately. 'I see. Well, if that is the case I think that we are justified in being optimistic. It seems to me that Harry holds you in very high regard.'

Sirius nodded. He knew that, too, and it made him a little uncomfortable. He wanted Harry to love him but he also knew that Harry would one day be very disappointed in him when he realised that his godfather was not in fact a great hero who had rescued him from the clutches of his evil relatives.

'Alright, as I was saying, Harry is doing very well academically but the social aspects of his time at school could be improved upon. Now, there have never been any incidents or complaints about bad behaviour but it seems to me – and a few of my colleagues agree with me – that he is quite lonely. Generally, that is not a good sign in a child of his age.'

'Oh,' Sirius's face fell. 'He… He's never mentioned anything like that – he always seems very happy when he talks about school.' He should have known, though. It was not as if Harry would complain. He was the type to suffer in silence. 'What can I do to help?' Should he push Harry to make friends? That could possibly end very badly, especially if Harry was not ready. 'I know he was bullied at his old school, by a group led by his cousin. I gather they pretty effectively kept him from making any friends.' He paused. 'Nobody's been bullying him here, right?'

'No, not to my knowledge. It seems to me that Harry likes to keep to himself even though he gets along well with most other kids. Benjamin, the boy sharing his table, has been making a real effort to win him over.'

Suddenly, Sirius saw Halloween in a different light. He had assumed that it had only been because of the date that Harry had not wanted to go with the other boy. Now, it seemed to be part of recurring pattern.

'You might encourage Harry to pursue that friendship. You would need a rather gentle approach but it seems to me that you are quite capable of that.'

Sirius sighed. When had people started to think that he was sensitive? Several people – mostly girls and Lily in particular – had made a habit of telling him that he was an "insensitive jerk". How things changed… 'I'll try to work something out,' he said but he doubted that he would do a good job of it. Harry would take any kind of suggestion as harsh criticism of his behaviour. 'Is there anything else?'

Mr Clark consulted his notes. 'No, not from me. Still, you might come in again in a few weeks' time so we can discuss the progress. Do you have any questions?'

Sirius shook his head and made to stand. 'Thanks… Thank you for looking out for him,' he said.

Mr Clark just smiled and nodded.

Now done with his main task for the night, Sirius wondered what he should do as he stood outside in the corridor again. He supposed that he could go home… but that would feel like copping out. Sighing, he gave into the inevitable and slowly made his way down the main stairs, following a large amount of voices that lead him to the assembly hall.

The place was swarming with people, most engaged in conversations with one another. After a few moments of confusion, he realised that the teachers were dotted around the room at individual tables, most talking to a parent or two. Sirius was still hovering by the door, wondering if he was supposed to know which teachers were Harry's, when he was approached once more.

'Hello,' said a voice and Sirius was relieved to find that it was not the chattering woman from earlier whose name he had forgotten. Instead, he found himself opposite a familiar face. This was Benjamin's father.

'Hello,' he answered quickly.

'I haven't had a chance to introduce myself properly,' said the man, offering Sirius a hand to shake. 'I'm Sam, Ben's dad.'

Sirius grasped the proffered hand. 'Sirius, Harry's godfather. Nice to meet you.'

'Likewise.'

There was a moment of silence. Sirius was not quite sure how to continue the conversation but it seemed he did not have to.

'Listen,' said Sam, 'I never got a chance to apologise.' At Sirius' confused gaze, he added, 'About Halloween, I mean. I should have known better than to turn up unannounced.'

Sirius shook his head. 'No, not at all. It was nice of you to think of Harry.'

Sam shrugged but seemed to deem the subject dealt with at that. 'So, what do you think?' he asked, letting his gaze roam the bustle in front of them. 'How have they been treating you?'

Sirius shrugged, not sure what to say to that.

Sam laughed at his expression. 'Don't take it personally. I suppose you're just the most interesting thing that's happened to this village in about half a decade.'

Sirius was not certain how to take that, either, and he was starting to get fed up with his insecurities. 'Says more about the village than about us, doesn't it?' he answered, not quite able to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

Sam laughed again. 'True,' he admitted. 'Anyway, what I really wanted to talk to you about. Ben's been on my back for weeks to ask you if he and Harry could have a playdate. So, obviously it's fine if you or Harry don't want to. It's just… Ben… his best mate moved away over the summer holidays, you see. He's been missing him quite a bit and he has his mind set on Harry becoming friends with him. He means well even though he doesn't quite know when to stop, it seems.'

Sirius considered this. Earlier that day, he would probably simply promised to pass the request on to Harry and let him decide but after talking to his teacher… The whole point of Harry going to this school had been for him to make friends, and Sirius knew he generally liked Ben. He heard the name all the time when Harry told him about his day, and he had never mentioned that Ben was being too pushy.

'Yes,' he answered. 'Yeah, I think that'd be nice.' Maybe Harry needed a nudge. Judging from the way Sam had asked, it seemed to be common practice for parents to arrange playdates for their kids so Harry would hopefully not be too mortified when Sirius told him.

Sam gave a relieved sigh and grinned. 'I will be celebrated as a hero when I get home tonight,' he explained. 'Anyway, what day do you think? We're busy tomorrow but the day after…?'

Sirius, who was generally not busy – at least, not with anything that could not be put off for a day – nodded. 'Should be fine.' Harry never had anything in particular on in the afternoons, either.

Sam nodded happily and then checked his watch. 'Great. If you'll excuse me, I think it'll be almost my turn for Mr Clark now. See you round, Sirius.'

'Bye,' answered Sirius. Sam disappeared and Sirius was once more left to find his way. After another minute's confusion and worry whether he had arrived wholly unprepared, he finally figured out how he was supposed to know which teachers he would need to talk to. There were lists pinned to the doors behind him and nametags on the tables.

He worked his way through the room and was told again and again that Harry was studious, affable and a little too quiet at times. In between his talks with the teachers, several parents approached him to introduce themselves and make small talk.

Most were polite enough though barely hiding their blatant curiosity. He was asked where he and Harry had moved from, how they related to Moony, if they were planning to stay… By the end, he felt as though he had answered those questions dozens of times. Nonetheless, he did his best to remain pleasant.

That did not mean, however, that he was not relieved on occasion when he had a conversation that went differently. His highlight had been a woman's voice saying, 'That's him, the good looking one,' while he had been waiting to speak to Harry's PE teacher.

He had turned around and only taken a second to reply, 'Tall, dark, handsome stranger? That's me!' He winked at the brunette who he was now facing. 'Sirius Black, at your service.' Instead of shaking her hand, he bowed down to kiss it.

The woman was tall and by some margin the most attractive female he had seen all evening, and – as Sirius realised a few seconds later – accompanied by her husband. The latter was about a head taller than Sirius but seemed, surprisingly, even more amused at his reply than she was.

The two of them were called Nadine and Scott, and had a daughter in the year above Harry and another in the year below. Sirius very much enjoyed their sense of humour and was tempted when they invited him down the pub, where quite a few of the parents were headed as the evening drew to a close. He declined nonetheless – he needed to get home.

Needing a few minutes to process what had been happening before talking to Moony or Harry, he decided to walk home and collect his thoughts. On the way, he decided that things had not gone as badly as he had dreaded but not all was peachy, either. He hoped that he had not rubbed anyone up the wrong way – he had certainly done his best. However, that was no guarantee of success. In the past, he had more than once managed to insult people without intending to – though he had never been sorry about any of them then. Usually, they deserved it. Today, though…

He opened the front door to find Harry hovering on the threshold between the hall and the sitting room. His bearing was enough to make Sirius' relaxed mood evaporate – Harry was tense and seemed to be putting all his effort into not looking scared. Still, Sirius could look past his façade. He looked like Prongs had during the war when he had put on a brave face. That expression – even if he had never liked to see it on James', either – looked horribly wrong on the face of a child.

'Come here,' he said, motioning Harry closer as he closed the door behind himself.

Harry took one hesitant step forwards and stopped, leaving Sirius to cross the distance between them. Sirius crouched down to be on his level and pulled him into a hug.

'Everything's fine, Harry,' said Sirius, rubbing Harry's tense shoulders. 'I didn't hear one bad word about you. You don't need to be scared, okay?'

Harry relaxed and slumped into him. 'I'm sorry.'

Sirius sighed. 'What for?' he asked. That was his new strategy, trying to make Harry realise that he had nothing to apologise for – he was yet to find out if it was of any use. He adjusted his hold on Harry and stood up, lifting the child. Harry remained silent as Sirius carried him into the sitting room where Moony was sitting, a closed book on his lap. A deck of cards had been scattered across the coffee table, as had several sheets of paper and Harry's crayons, witness to what Harry had been doing all night.

Sirius sat down on the sofa, Harry still pressed into his chest.

'Mr Clark wasn't angry?'

'On the contrary,' said Sirius, ruffling Harry's hair. 'He said you've been on perfect behaviour – he said he didn't have to tell you off even once.' Lily would be proud.

'Really?'

'Yes, really. Not one bad word, Harry.'

'Mhm,' sighed Harry into Sirius' shoulder. ''m sorry,' he muttered, his voice muffled.

Sirius did not answer – he did not have to. By the sounds of it, Harry was mere seconds away from sleep. It was not surprising that he would be tired. The hands of the clock on the mantelpiece were nearing midnight and he had to have exhausted himself with all his worrying.

'Good evening?' asked Moony, speaking up for the first time since Sirius had returned when they were both sure that Harry was asleep.

'I've got no idea,' answered Sirius truthfully. 'And you two?'

'As you'd expect,' answered Moony with a shrug and a yawn. 'No mayor drama, though. So, what exactly happened with you?'

-oOo-

 _There we are. This one took me ages, and going over it time and again. Still, I'm reasonably happy with it now. I hope you like it, too._

 _I have one request. I wonder if there's anyone out there who'd very kindly help me out. I've got most of this story (and possibly a sequel) worked out plot wise but I'm not entirely sure about how to tell it and I'd like a second and maybe third opinion on what I'm planning. This would probably be a one-time thing, nothing particularly time-consuming and not particularly spoiler-y. If you'd like to offer your help, just leave a review or send a pm and I'll get back to you some time in the next few weeks. Thanks in advance! :)_

 _Thank you very much for reading, everyone!_

 _DFTBA!_


	18. Chapter 18

_Hello :-)_

 _Here I am again, finally. I know it's been ages, sorry about that…_

 _ **Radio Free Death**_ _: Thanks for your input. I actually went back and rewrote some of first chapter. You're right, Vernon wasn't really making that much sense, and I hope it's better now. I also went back and corrected all the incorrectly capitalised 'Dad's and 'Mum's. Thanks for your review! :-)_

 _ **Papayathewritingmachine**_ _: Hello :-) I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I won't be bashing anyone in this story (especially not Ron, although he will turn up eventually) and this won't be wolfstar, either. This story will go on for another few months but there might be a sequel after that will go all the way to the end of Deathly Hallows. Thanks for your review!_

 _Thanks also to everyone else for being so very lovely! :-)_

-oOo-

'I talked to Ben's dad, Sam,' Sirius told Harry over breakfast the next morning. 'He asked if you and Ben could have a playdate tomorrow after school and I said that'd be fine. Is that alright?'

Harry hesitated for a moment and then nodded. 'I…' he said quietly. 'I've never really had a playdate before. Only Dudley…'

Sirius found himself at a complete loss of what to say. 'It'll be nice,' he tried, hoping that that was what Harry wanted to hear. 'I got the impression that Ben is really looking forward to it.'

Harry's mouth curled into the tiniest smile. Then, he shrugged and went back to his food.

As Harry showed no signs of distress over the course of the next day, Sirius decided that he had made the right call. He was only just in time to pick Harry up. He had been talking to Moony about muggle-proofing the house – just in case he had misunderstood their agreement and Sam and Ben wanted to come over. He need not have bothered, though.

Ben came storming from the school, dragging Harry behind him by the hand. Harry seemed happy enough, certainly when Ben headed for where Sirius and Sam were standing, waiting. He detached himself and hugged Sirius as he always did.

'Good day?' asked Sirius and got a nod and a nervous smile in return.

'Do you really have a motorbike?' interrupted Ben eagerly, not having bothered to great his father in favour of ogling Sirius and Harry.

Sirius was taken aback by the question. 'Yes, I do.' Harry had been looking rather sheepishly but relaxed when Sirius laughed.

'And you let Harry ride it?'

'I let Harry ride along, in the sidecar.'

'Can I have a go?'

'Er…' Sirius looked from the boy to his father.

Sam smiled. 'Ben, don't be rude.'

Benjamin seemed disappointed but dropped the subject. Sirius was relieved.

'Can we go yet?' Ben asked instead.

Sam shrugged and nodded.

'Yay!' shouted Ben and grabbed Harry's hand again. 'Come on, Harry, let's go.' He made to pull him along, but Harry's hand closed around Sirius'. The message was clear. He would not move from the spot without him.

Sam had noticed. 'We can all go together, Ben,' he said.

Ben pouted but perked up again instantly. 'What're you waiting for, then? Let's go.' He grabbed his sighing father by the hand and pulled. They began to move slowly and Ben, who soon got bored with the pace, sprinted ahead and back again continuously.

'I'm sorry, Harry,' said Sam. 'He's just very excited. He's been hoping that you'd come over and play for weeks now.'

Harry nodded. He had let go of Sirius' hand when Ben had let go of his, but he remained close. Sirius smiled at him. 'You'll be fine,' he assured him. Harry did not seem completely convinced but he nodded again.

'So, how long have you lived here, then?' asked Sam.

'I bought a house here a few weeks ago. I wanted somewhere quiet, and it is. How about you?'

'Oh, must be… thirteen years now. Ben's mum was born in the village. We met at school, up in Sevenoaks. We moved to London after, but when she got pregnant she wanted to come back here, close to where her mum lived.'

'Oh, so Benjamin has an older brother, older sister?' asked Sirius just as Ben returned.

'Sister. Charlotte is twelve. How about you, Harry? Any siblings?'

Harry shook his head but Ben answered. 'You said you lived with Dudley. He's your cousin and he's mean. That's almost like Charlie. She's always mean to me. She's stronger than me now but in a few years, I'll be stronger than her 'cause men are stronger than women.'

Sirius watched as the emotions slid off Harry's face. It would have taken him quite a bit of trust to tell Ben about Dudley and to have him mentioned back like this was bound to be upsetting. Sirius never mentioned the Dursleys if he could at all manage. Clearly, Ben did not understand – and how could he? – but Harry would still be affected by this.

Sam skilfully ignored his son's last few sentences. 'You live with your cousin, Harry?' he asked instead. 'How old is he?'

Harry ducked his head and stared down at his feet.

'He's eight,' Sirius answered in his stead. 'But Harry's not living with him any longer, not since he's moved in with me.'

'Why?' asked Ben. 'Why did you move, Harry?'

Harry actually flinched at this and Sirius hesitated for a moment, wondering what he could do. In the end, he scooped Harry up into his arms, even at the risk of embarrassing him in front of his new friend. 'It's okay,' he muttered. 'You're fine, Harry. You don't have to talk about it.' Harry remained silent and hid his face against Sirius' shoulder.

'I'm so sorry,' said Sam as Sirius resumed his walk.

'No, it's fine, you couldn't have known.' He deliberated for a moment whether to tell them but Ben was looking curious. It would probably be better to answer now than to wait for him to ask again. 'Harry lived with his aunt, uncle and cousin until recently. But they weren't all that nice to him so he decided to come and live with Remus and me instead.'

The look in Sam's eyes told Sirius that he had understood but Bennie had of course not. 'What…' he began but his father shushed him.

'But…'

'In a moment, Ben.' He stopped, one hand on a garden gate. 'This is us.' He hesitated, giving Sirius the chance to excuse himself and Harry.

Sirius considered it but… 'Let's give it a go,' he said. Harry did not seem to be crying, so he would try to cheer him up and distract him – and if that did not work, they would leave.

'Daddy…' complained Ben but his father ignored him. He nodded to Sirius and led the way. 'The sitting room is through there,' he said after letting them in. 'Make yourselves at home. Ben, could you come with me for a moment?'

'But I want to play with Harry.'

'You can, just come into the kitchen with me for a sec.'

'But I didn't do nothing.'

'I didn't say you did.'

Ben kept protesting but let himself be ushered from the room and through the door that closed behind them. Sirius could hear Sam's voice but not make out what exactly he was saying. He carried Harry to the living room and sat down on the sofa. He loosened Harry's grip to be able to see his face.

'They didn't mean to hurt you,' he explained.

Harry nodded. 'I know,' he said. He was not quite meeting Sirius' gaze.

'Was it okay that I told them?'

Harry nodded hesitantly. 'You won't tell them anything else, though, will you?'

'No, I won't – not if you don't want me to.'

Harry finally looked at him properly and smiled. 'Thank you.'

'That's okay.' He paused, trying to think of something else to talk about. 'You told Ben about my bike?'

'Was that bad? I didn't say it could fly…'

'That's fine,' Sirius reassured him and stroked his head. 'What else did you tell him about me?'

'I said you had a bike and that you live with Remus. Bennie asked who Remus is and I said he's your friend. He makes great spag bol and he knows lots of stuff and helps me with my homework.'

Sirius chuckled at this depiction of Moony. 'Sounds good.' He pulled Harry close again and he very willingly snuggled into his chest. It always amazed him how comfortable Harry had gotten with being so close to him. He doubted that his aunt and uncle had ever cuddled with him – neither had Sirius' parents, for that matter – but if anything, Harry was making up for it now. They sat in silence until Ben burst into the room, opening the door so hard that he crashed against a bookcase.

'Ben,' said his father exasperatedly, shaking his head as he followed him into the room. 'I said knock. And you'll break the door doing that.'

Ben managed a guilty look for a second but was distracted by Harry. When he approached them, he was speaking more quietly than he had as of yet. 'I'm sorry, Harry,' he said. 'I didn't know I was being mean.'

Harry shrugged. 'That's okay.'

'Cool.' Ben's face lit up instantly. 'Come on, let's go upstairs and play.'

Harry looked to Sirius uncertainly, but he gave him a little shove and let him slide off his lap.

'Go on. I'll be right here.'

'You can shout, too,' interjected Sam. 'Ben, why don't you show Harry?'

Ben grinned broadly and sprinted off, up the stairs. Seconds later, he could be heard shouting, 'See, Harry, you can hear me, right?' at the top of his voice. Harry smiled. Moments later, Ben came thundering back down.

'Did you hear me?' he asked.

'Everyone in the village heard you,' said his father.

Ben ignored him and looked to Harry. 'Come on,' he insisted and this time Harry followed him – if only with a few insecure glances back at Sirius. He nodded encouragingly and the two children disappeared.

'Coffee?' asked Sam.

Sirius nodded gladly. 'Yes, please.' Sam disappeared and Sirius took the opportunity to look around the room properly for the first time. There were bookcases filled to the brink, a radio with all sorts of buttons that Sirius would have no idea what to do with, and what Harry had taught him was called a television. The room looked well lived in – a crumpled blanket had been pushed carelessly to the side of the sofa, a discarded cardigan hung over the armrest and an empty mug stood on the cluttered coffee table. Upstairs, things were silent except for the occasional sound of footsteps.

'Don't mind the mess,' said Sam when he returned with two cups of coffee. 'It always creeps up on me.'

'Not a problem.'

'Listen, I'm sorry about Ben. Sensitivity isn't his strong suit…'

Sirius shook his head. 'It's fine. I can tell he means well, and so can Harry. Don't worry about it.'

Sam nodded, relieved. 'So… If you don't mind my asking… How long has Harry been with you?'

Sirius thought about denying him information but in the end decided against it. It would come out some time, anyway. He might as well tell now. 'Little more than a month now, I think. It all happened very suddenly.'

'And his parents?'

Sirius swallowed. 'They… they died seven years ago. His dad, James, was my best friend.'

'I'm sorry.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Thanks.' He did not want to go into any detail about Prongs' death, and Sam seemed to notice.

'And he went to live with his aunt and uncle?'

'Yes, for… for several reasons. They are his only blood relatives. I suppose from the outside they must have seemed like a good choice. Dudley's just a month older than Harry.'

'And they…?'

Sirius squirmed. He really did not want to answer that. Other than not being entirely sure what had transpired, Harry had been pretty clear that he did not want Sirius to talk about it. 'Harry asked me not to tell,' he said therefore. 'I don't know the whole of it, anyway – but the big picture is that he definitely couldn't stay with them.'

Sam nodded sadly. 'Ben told me a lot about him but I'd never have thought…'

The front door slammed shut and the figure of a girl in school uniform appeared in the doorway to the hall. 'Is Mum back?' she asked without a word of greeting.

'No, Sweetheart, but she should be in a few hours. How was your day?'

She shrugged and disappeared up the stairs. Sam sighed and gave Sirius an apologetic look. 'That was my daughter, Charlotte. She isn't usually in a good mood when she comes home from school.'

Sirius smiled noncommittedly at that. 'So, your wife?' he asked, looking for and finding a ring around the third finger of Sam's right hand. 'Is she at work?'

Sam nodded. 'She's a journalist. Nothing thrilling, mostly politics, but it means she's in travelling all over Europe every other week – Brussels, Paris, Bonn, Madrid. Hours are crazy but she still enjoys it. Charlie hates that she isn't home more – well, we all do, she's just the most vocal about it – but what can you do?' He sighed. 'Are you on paternity leave at the moment?'

'Er, no I… Well, kind of, I suppose. I'm actually looking for something new. How about you?'

Sam shrugged. 'The kids don't leave me with all that much time, especially… Well, I used to be in administration but I never loved it as much as Carolyn loved her job so it seemed only natural that it'd be me to stay home.' He paused. 'And what about your… erm… your housemate?'

There was something a little odd about the way Sam had hesitated before that last word. 'Remus?' Sirius said. 'He's…' But before he had to work out whether he could tell the truth or not, he was interrupted by shouting from the floor above.

'Get out, you little idiot! This is _my_ room!'

'I've got your diary! I've got your diary!

'Give that back! I said give it back!'

'Come and get it!'

'You wait you little…! Dad! Dad, tell snotface to stop that!'

'Dad, she called me snotface and smellypants and boogereater!'

'I didn't! Dad, he's lying! Give me back my book! Give it!'

Sam had gotten up from the sofa with a sigh almost the second that shouting started. He ascended the stairs three at a time and by the time Sirius had decided to follow, he was out of sight already. The fight was still going.

'He started it!'

'No, she started it! She always does, Dad!'

'He threw his dirty socks in my room and I told him not to do that!'

'She started it, she kicked my car!'

'Did not!'

'Did too!'

'Quiet, both of you! Ben, I said best behaviour, didn't I? Where's your guest?'

'In my room. We were just playing, Dad, I swear, and then _she_ started it!'

'No, _he_ did. I didn't do anything, Dad! It's all his fault. He took my book! Tell him to give it back!'

'It's her fault – she came into my room first!'

'Quiet!' Sam turned to face Sirius who had just reached to top of the staircase. 'Ben's room is through there.' He indicated to and open door through which a floor littered with toys could be seen and then turned back to his kids. 'You two, in there, now!' He pushed the two loudly protesting kids into what Sirius assumed was Charlotte's room.

Sirius continued the few steps along the hall and found Harry sitting in the middle of the chaotic room, surrounded by little plastic bricks. Sirius smiled at him. 'Wow, they can shout, can't they?' he asked.

Harry nodded. 'Are they in trouble?' he asked.

Sirius crossed the room, careful not to step on anything, and sat down next to Harry. 'A little. They shouldn't be arguing like that, should they?'

Harry shook his head. 'Do you think she's really as mean to him as Dudley is to me? 'Cause that's what Bennie said.'

'No, I'm sure she isn't. I think they just annoy each other a little, that's all. What happened anyway? Did you see?'

Harry nodded. 'Bennie made a farting noise when she walked past the door. Then she called him smellypants and he threw the car at her but he missed and she kicked the car back.' He indicated to a little model at the opposite site of the room. 'She missed, too. Then she slammed her door. Bennie got angry and he took some socks out of the laundry basket. He said he was going to put them in her room so it gets smelly in there. He left and I stayed here. Then they started shouting.'

'Hm… sounds like it was both of them, then, huh?'

'Yeah, I suppose. Is their daddy very angry with them?'

'I don't think so. He'll probably just tell them off, that's all.'

'Really?'

Sirius realised that there was more to that question than was obvious. He had already answered it twice. 'Yes, really. Now, what have you been doing up here?'

'We built cars. See?' he indicated to a row of little models, all made out of the colourful little bricks. 'I made that one.' He picked up the one at the very end and placed it carefully on Sirius' outstretched hand. 'It's got flamethrowers there and there,' he explained and tapped two cylindrical parts, 'and there's space for two people and one of them can drive and the other can operate the laser guns. They're here, see? And…'

Sirius nodded, listening carefully as Harry walked him through every bit of the model even though he understood very little. 'So that's the fastest one of all?' he concluded, summing up what he thought Harry wanted to hear.

Harry smiled brightly. 'Yes, the fastest one ever. I'm making another one. Can you help me?'

'Sure.'

Harry picked up another model, this one only half finished. It already had four wheels but not much more than that. 'I need a red two brick,' Harry told him. 'They're hard to find. Like this one,' he held up an incredibly small grey block, 'only red.'

Sirius nodded and got to work. He could hardly believe his luck when after a few seconds he really did come across the wanted part. 'This one?' he asked, holding it out to Harry.

'Yeah, thank you.' He fixed it to his model.

They were on the hunt for a black four brick when there was movement out in the hall. Looking up, they saw Ben and Charlotte being escorted into the room. 'Sorry,' Charlotte mumbled in Harry's general direction and made to turn around but her father blocked her way.

'For?' he prompted.

'For arguing and not being polite to our guests,' she muttered grudgingly, leaving no doubt in Sirius' mind that she was just saying what she needed to say to be left alone. Sam let her go and she stomped into her room, banging the door.

'Ben?'

'I'm sorry for arguing when you were here and not being nice.'

Harry took in the words and shrugged. 'It's okay,' he muttered.

'Would you like to keep playing for a bit?' asked Sam.

Harry nodded. Sirius struggled to his feet, wondering when he had gotten so old that sitting on the floor was a problem, and when he left the room, Harry and Ben were chattering happily about "rockets", "propelling" somethings and "plasma", whatever that was.

'Sorry about that,' said Sam. 'They're always at each other's throats these days. I hope Harry was okay?'

'Yes, yes, he was fine. He was more concerned that Ben and Charlotte were in trouble, to be honest.'

'Oh dear. I probably shouldn't have shouted, should I?'

'It's fine. It's probably good for him to witness kids being told off in a way that's not… well, whatever his uncle did to him.'

They returned to the sitting room and began to chat about easier topics. They talked about the boys' school and the different teachers, Sirius asked a few more questions about Sam and his family, and the he told Sam about Moony, about how they had only recently moved in together but that they'd met at school.

Upstairs, all remained silent aside from Harry and Ben laughing and occasionally stomping around the room. Sirius left Harry to play for as long as he could but knew that Moony would be expecting them back for tea. It was nearing six o'clock when he decided to call it a day.

Sirius called for Harry and it took less than a second until there were running footsteps upstairs and Harry appeared. 'We're going home.'

He looked disappointed but came down the stairs instantly and started to put on his shoes. Only after spending the afternoon with Ben did Sirius truly realize how extraordinary that was.

'But I want Harry to stay for a bit longer,' complained Ben.

'He can come back another day,' said Sam.

'Would you like that, Harry?' asked Sirius.

Harry nodded.

'We could invite Ben to our place, too, but you don't have that many interesting toys, do you?'

Harry nodded again. 'Maybe you could bring some, Bennie,' he suggested.

'Yeah, I could bring all my Lego and all my cars and…'

'Thanks for the invitation,' said Sam, cutting his son short.

Harry had put his shoes on by now, put on his coat and picked up his book bag. 'Thank you for having us,' he said.

'You're welcome,' said Sam with a smile.

'Yes, thank you,' agreed Sirius. 'I know we've been a little high maintenance.'

'Nonsense,' disagreed Sam.

'Bye, Harry, bye Harry's Dad,' said Ben as they left and Harry waved and called back, 'Bye, Bennie!' That was the first time that Sirius had ever heard him raise his voice. He smiled. Ben being a bit of a "bad" influence on Harry would be a very good thing, he was certain.

Harry spent dinner telling them all about what Ben and him had been playing. He seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon and did not seem at all opposed to repeating it. For once, Sirius was convinced that he had done something right. Today had been a huge success.

After they had finished their meal, they settled in the sitting room as they did most evenings. Harry had grabbed Moony's box of pictures off the shelf and was looking through them. He would do that occasionally and other than to glance at him occasionally, Sirius and Moony left him to it.

That night after about half an hour, Harry got up from where he had been sitting on the rug and joined Sirius on the couch. He was holding a picture that he showed Sirius.

'Are they my grandparents?' he asked.

'Yes,' Sirius answered promptly. The picture showed a very young James, proudly showing off his school robes, flanked by both Fleamont and Euphemia, smiling down at him fondly. 'It must've been taken when they picked him up from the train for Christmas, first year.' Behind the trio, the eternal bustle of Platform 9 ¾ could be seen. The photo had probably been taken by Moony.

Harry nodded, his eyes fixed on the smiling faces below. 'They look nice.'

'They were,' agreed Sirius. 'They were wonderful people.'

Harry sighed and leaned into Sirius' shoulder. 'Where are _your_ parents?' he asked.

This question startled Sirius a little. He had not considered that Harry might have any interest in his family. 'There,' he said, tapping the picture of Fleamont and Euphemia. 'That's my mum and dad.'

Harry frowned and after a moment, Sirius decided to put him out of his misery and answer the question properly. 'My first mother and father are dead,' he answered, maybe a little harsher than he had intended. He very much disliked talking about them.

'Oh,' answered Harry, sadness immediately sparkling in his eyes. 'That's very sad…'

'No, they… They weren't exactly nice people, Harry.'

Harry's eyes widened further. Sirius almost saw his brain tick behind his eyes, saw how he connected his own aunt and uncle with Sirius' parents. 'Did someone save you, too?' he asked.

Sirius almost smiled at the childish logic. He shook his head. 'I ran away, to your grandparents',' he explained, gesturing to the picture in Harry's hand again. 'They took me in.' He was aware that Moony was listening. He had never talked about this in front of him before. Neither Moony nor the rat had ever asked, had just seemed to accept without any explanation that Sirius would henceforth return to the Potters' for the holidays. 'They were a better mum and dad to me than my biological parents ever were.'

Harry remained silent for a while, obviously trying to decide what to make of this. He had to have questions, questions that Sirius would most definitely not like to answer. Still, they never came. Instead, Harry hugged him tightly. 'I'm sorry,' he muttered.

Sirius could not help but chuckle, in spite of how touched he was.

-oOo-

 _So, that's it for today. What do you think?_

 _I'm almost done with uni for this semester so hopefully the next chapter will be a lot quicker than this ;-)_

 _DFTBA!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Hello!_

 _Sorry, sorry, sorry, guys. I know it's been forever. I just haven't had any time to write until like two days ago. It's mainly got to do with me being busy with uni and work and an internship that's not really left me with a lot of opportunities to stay up until three in the morning and write (and it's easiest for me to write in the middle of the night, annoyingly)._

 _ **Guest**_ _: Putting these –'– as quotation marks is normal in the UK. I know it's different in the US but I'm more at home in British English and besides, it's the way JK Rowling does it, too ;-)_

 _ **LunaReader6127**_ _: Hello :-) I won't tell you how it ends (Tonks and Teddy and everything) but for now, Remus is staying put. I just feel that Sirius would quite like (or even need) some help raising a child and that Remus would be willing to help since he does not expect ever to have kids of his own. I'm glad you like the story :-)_

 _Huge thank you to_ _ **everyone else**_ _who reviewed – I do read the all and I always enjoy it! :-)_

 _Anyway, enough jabber, here we go – I hope you enjoy it :-)_

-oOo-

Harry had thoroughly enjoyed himself at Ben's which meant that the two boys had arranged to go on playdates together every few days from then on. Sirius was rather anxious the first time Ben and Sam came around to their place. He had cast _Finite Incantatem_ on everything magical for the duration of the visit and it seemed that he had pulled of pretending to be a muggle well enough.

It was lucky that the house had been inhabited by muggles in the past. All the lights had switches and unless one inspected them very closely, there was no way anybody would notice that there were no actual cables attached but there was a charm connecting them to what Moony had charmed to look like Muggle light bulbs sitting in the lamps.

Otherwise, he hoped that neither Ben nor his Dad would be too interested in "electricity" – Harry had taught him how to say that word properly – or the lack of it. He turned out not to be quite correct about that, however.

Ben's mouth fell open when he realised that Harry lived in a house without a telly. Apparently, the thought alone filled him with all-encompassing horror. Harry did not seem keen to talk about the subject – which seemed to play quite an important part in the life of a boy his age. He had never mentioned wanting one of those machines and even if he had, Sirius would have had a hard time fulfilling that wish. Magic and muggle technology did not mix – the more elaborate the electronic bits the more it would be affected, so a telly was pretty much out of the question.

Still, despite his son's shock, Sam did not seem suspicious at all. He merely chuckled and suggested that they, too, might consider getting rid of the television. Ben stared at him open-mouthed for a second at the proclamation but then seemed to catch himself and realise that his dad was teasing him. He stuck out his tongue and he and Harry thundered up the stairs to play.

'Tea?' asked Sirius, looking at Sam and Moony when Harry and Ben had disappeared. 'Coffee?'

'Coffee would be great,' answered Sam.

'And tea for Remus,' added Sirius with a nod at his friend who smiled back. 'I'll only be a sec.'

As he prepared the drinks, he listened to movement upstairs, and Sam and Moony's voices in the sitting room. Sam had never officially met Moony before and the latter had been quite nervous. They had seen each other in passing at the school gates on occasion but had never had a conversation beyond a friendly nod or a "Good morning".

'…just been doing odd jobs lately,' Moony was saying as Sirius returned with three cups and a plate of biscuits that Moony had baked with Harry's help a few days ago. 'Just to get some money in.'

'So what is it you'd really like to do? Or do you like the flexibility?'

'It's hard to say,' said Moony, a somewhat wistful smile on his face. 'I sort of… missed my chance at taking up a proper profession.'

Sam nodded understandingly. 'Still, not too late, is it? You could take evening classes – catch up on what you missed. It's hard work but maybe it's worth it.'

'I don't think it would help me that much,' answered Moony mildly.

'You didn't miss your chance,' Sirius interrupted. 'That makes it sound like it was your fault.'

Moony sighed tiredly and raised his palms in a gesture of surrender. 'Fine, fine.'

'He has a knack for self-deprecation,' Sirius explained to Sam who picked up on his teasing tone and smiled.

'How did you two meet, then?' he asked.

'School,' answered Sirius promptly. 'We were eleven.'

'We went to the same boarding school and were part of the same house,' Moony added. 'Harry's dad shared a dorm with us.'

Sam was interested in that so they spent a while reminiscing about school days and telling some of the funnier stories (edited to be muggle-friendly, obviously).

As they left late that afternoon, Ben was talking to his father about Harry's collection of dragons, which – although motionless for the duration of his visit – had fascinated the boy to no end. Sirius had been back to the toyshop several times to expand Harry's collection.

Harry was beyond happy to own something that Ben thought cool. In Sirius' opinion, he needed to pull his weight a little more in the friendship… Still, he told himself. What did it matter? Harry had a friend his own age for the first time and he was happy. In time, it would sort itself out and if it did not, Sirius would intervene eventually – or send Moony to do it, as he himself actually had no idea how to do such a thing.

-oOo-

The boys met four times over the course of the week after their first playdate so it did not come as a surprise to Sirius to find Harry talking to Ben and Sam when he came to pick him up from school. He was greeted by smiles and a hug from Harry.

'Harry has just asked me if he can have a sleepover at our house,' Sam informed him.

'A sleepover?' repeated Sirius, confused. So far, Harry had shown himself reluctant to visit Ben alone, even in the afternoon. 'You want a sleepover, Harry?' Harry had never even said that word in Sirius' company as far as he could remember, not to mention a desire to have one.

Harry nodded.

'Yes,' continued Sam. 'He said on the twenty-third this month.'

Sirius frowned and quickly did a calculation. The twenty-third of November would be the following Wednesday and… 'Excuse us for a moment, please. Harry, may I have a word?' He took Harry aside and looked around to make sure that nobody was listening. 'The twenty-third is a full moon, and I'm assuming that's not a coincidence. What are you doing?'

Harry shuffled his feet sheepishly but seemed determined nonetheless. 'I heard you and Remus arguing. You said that if I wasn't at the house, you could stay with him and he wouldn't get hurt.'

Sirius made a note to himself to make sure that Harry could not hear them when he next discussed something sensitive with Moony. For now, he watched Harry intently. That was a good plan, a very good one indeed. He had thought about it himself but he would never have asked Harry. He did not want to pressure him but now that the opportunity had arisen… 'Are you sure, Harry?'

Harry nodded.

'I won't be able to pick you up at night if you get scared. You won't be able to contact me at all. Do you understand that?'

'I do. Everyone says that sleepovers are fun. I've never had one but I don't want Remus to get hurt. I probably won't get scared, anyway. I like Bennie, and his dad. Besides, I haven't used the ball once, have I?'

Sirius watched his face carefully as he spoke but could not detect dishonesty. Sirius himself had toyed with the idea of asking Dumbledore to take care of him for a night but he had never seriously considered it. He had been too afraid that Harry would interpret it as an attempt to get rid of him – which obviously did not seem to be the case. He could not argue with Harry's reasoning, either. He pulled him into a hug.

'Thank you, Harry,' he said.

'I don't mind. I want to help Remus, too.'

Sirius smiled and ruffled his hair. 'You really are your father's son.'

Harry beamed. 'So that was a good idea? You're not angry?'

'I'm not angry. What did you tell Ben and Sam? Did you mention Moony?'

'No, I just said I wanted a sleepover.'

Sirius frowned. 'Well, okay, we'll probably have to invent a little story, okay? I'm going to talk to Sam, and you are going to listen closely so that if someone asks you, there aren't any contradictions, okay?' Encouraging Harry to lie… What would Lily say to that? Still, it was for good cause. She would probably understand. She had always felt for Moony.

Harry nodded.

They returned to the spot where Sam and Ben were still waiting. They seemed a little confused.

'I'm sorry about that,' said Sirius. 'Harry didn't discuss this with me beforehand but the fact is… Well, Remus has a medical condition that means he has to stay overnight at hospital roughly once a month. I like to go with him but of course, I can't do that when I'm looking after Harry. His next appointment is on the twenty-third.'

'Oh, I was beginning to wonder,' said Sam, smiling. 'Of course he can stay over. It'd be our honour to have you, Harry.'

'Yay, we're having a sleepover!' shouted Ben.

Harry was grinning, too.

They discussed it a little further and decided that they should have a trial run, so to speak, to see if Harry really was up to the task. It was promptly arranged for the following Friday and although Harry was nervous and Sirius tossed and turned quite a lot, when he picked him up in the morning, Harry was beaming proudly.

'I did it!' he called. 'I did it, Sirius!'

Sirius laughed and swung him around, ignoring the little stab in his chest that he felt at the thought of Harry not needing him. Where had that come from?

Moony, too, hugged Harry when he told him about the plan and the relief on his face made Sirius swear to himself that he would never let him go back to that place.

-oOo-

Sirius had also been thinking about the conversation that Harry had overheard. What else had they discussed apart from the fact that without Harry in the house, Moony would be able to stay? He did not want Harry to feel like he was being pushed aside and it seemed strange that he did not.

He went through all the late-night talks he had had with Moony that might have been the one Harry had overheard. It took him a long while of pondering but he finally come up with a snippet of a conversation that might serve as an explanation as to why Harry was taking everything so well.

"Harry comes first for you, Padfoot. That is a fact," Moony had said tiredly one evening a few days earlier. It had been coming onto midnight and they had been discussing the topic for almost an hour. "I don't blame you for it one little bit."

"Of course Harry comes first, but that still doesn't mean that I have to sit around and let you do this to yourself."

Then, they had simply been stating the obvious but to Harry it would have been of entirely different value. It was confirmation that Sirius was not lying when he told him how important he was to him.

As planned, Sirius dropped Harry off at Ben's on the eve of the full moon. He was more worried now than he had been the last time but he assured Sirius that he would be fine.

Just like two months previously, they stripped Moony's room and the night was quiet. Sirius woke up in time to see Moony turn back into a man. He got to work instantly, starting to move all the furniture back. Harry was not supposed to know exactly what they had been doing. Moony was out like a light and did not so much as blink when Sirius levitated him into his bed. They had barely ever had a full moon that peaceful.

The hurry was not necessary whatsoever, as Sam would be taking Harry to school directly and Sirius would not be seeing him until that afternoon. He had checked his ball and found it intact, concluding that Harry was okay. They had agreed that should Harry break it, he would come as soon as he could. He paced nervously for an hour or so and then decided that he might as well try to get some sleep. To his great surprise, he actually dozed off for a few hours and when he left to pick up Harry, he was well rested and relaxed.

'Is he okay?' was Harry's first question when they met at the school gate.

'Perfectly fine. He's sleeping now.'

Harry beamed happily. 'So that was good, yes?'

'Very good,' said Sirius. He turned to Sam, who had been watching them with a smile. 'I wanted to say thanks again, Sam, for doing this. It's a great help. I know Remus wants to thank you, too, in person.'

'You're very welcome,' said Sam, still smiling. 'We had fun, didn't we, boys?'

Harry and Ben nodded unanimously.

Since neither of them needed to be anywhere else, they set off for the playground. Harry had been reluctant, saying that he wanted to see how Moony was doing but Sirius assured him that Moony was sleeping and needed to rest. Harry had taken a while to convince but when Sirius had stated that he would not be allowed in Moony's room anyway because he could disturb him, Harry let himself be convinced that an afternoon playing with Ben was not too bad a thing to happen.

'Harry said something last night,' said Sam as they sat on a bench near the sandpit, watching Harry and Ben take off towards the swings.

'He did?' asked Sirius apprehensively, preparing himself to make an excuse. What was this about? There really were a whole bunch of secrets Harry was supposed to keep, he realised with a twinge of guilt.

'Yeah… I wanted to ask you before… well, I know how rumours happen. But I would like to know.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Shoot.' If this was something personal, the worst was already excluded.

'Well, he let slip that you had been to prison.'

Sirius sighed. This was not too bad. He was not going to deny it, had not even asked Harry to keep it quiet. It had been bound to come out eventually. 'I have,' he confirmed. Sam nodded and Sirius knew he wanted to know more. It had to be expected. Sirius would want to know, too, had he been in his place especially if it was someone Harry was in contact with.

'I can't tell you the whole story. Harry doesn't know yet because he hasn't asked me, and I want him to hear it from me.' He paused, choosing how to edit his story. 'I was accused of several murders and sent to prison seven years ago. A few months ago, one of the men I was supposed to have killed was found in hiding. There was a trial and he was proven to have committed all the crimes I was accused of. I was cleared of all charges and released immediately.'

'You were innocent?'

'Yes, completely innocent. Do you think they'd let me have Harry otherwise?'

'No, I suppose not. But how could that happen?'

'There…' Sirius hesitated. 'There was false information going around. It's all quite complicated and I really can't tell you. It has to do with Harry's parents. Everything happened the day after they were murdered.'

'Murdered?' repeated Sam thunderstruck. Sirius was surprised by this reaction.

'Haven't I said that before?'

'No, you said they were killed. I assumed in a car crash or something…'

Sirius shook his head, his jaw tensing. 'No, it wasn't… an accident.'

'But…' Sam was obviously unsure of what to say or do. 'Like… How… Why?'

Sirius considered telling him for a moment. Then, he realised that there was no way he could make the story into anything that Sam would be able to accept. It was too complicated and too far removed from the muggle world. He could not tell him about the war – as far as the muggles were concerned, there had never been one.

'I'm sorry,' said Sam as Sirius hesitated, sobering up. 'I don't mean to pry…'

'It's not that,' replied Sirius. 'It's just… It's a fairly long story. They were good people, the best. They…' He struggled for the right words.

'Don't,' interrupted Sam. 'It's fine. You don't owe me an explanation – you barely even now me. Just…'

'You're worried I might be dangerous,' stated Sirius. Sam begun to shake his head but Sirius did not let him speak. 'I understand – I'd probably feel the same way if I were in your position.'

Sam shrugged sheepishly.

'I swear that the only reason I came here is that I want Harry to have as normal a life as possible. We came here because nobody knew us and we could get a fresh start.' He could not honestly promise that their being in the village did not potentially pose a danger to the other residents. For now, he was quite certain everything was fine but if Voldemort or his followers ever resurfaced and decided to hunt Harry down… Still, he pushed that thought away. At the slightest hint of being discovered, they would pack up and relocate. It would be fine.

Sam nodded pensively. Sirius could not tell whether he had taken note of the omission. When he opened his mouth, Sirius half expected a polite but firm request to stay away from him and Ben. 'I had expected something,' he said instead, sounding ponderous rather than accusing. 'When we first met. No offence, but you looked very ill. I thought you might have been on drugs or sleeping rough or something.'

Sirius shook his head. 'No, that was just the prison.'

'And Remus?'

'What about him?'

'What's his story?'

Sirius thought about his answer. 'You already know. He's had an illness ever since he was a kid. It's what makes him look unhealthy – I assume that that's why you're asking?' Sam nodded. 'He was a good friend of James and mine back at school. He's one of the kindest people you'll ever meet – and he does not have a drug habit,' he added rather passionately. He disliked that anybody would think badly of Moony. It happened way too often.

'I'm sorry,' said Sam. 'For jumping to conclusions.' He bit his lip as if unsure whether to say something.

'What is it?'

'Well… I don't know if you know – or if you want to know, even… Just… People were talking – about you and Remus, mostly. Harry not so much. They don't deal well with new people, especially if they're a bit…' He hesitated. '… unusual.'

Sirius had to chuckle at the phrasing. He had known that people were talking, had known that as soon as Harry started school they would be the talking point of the village. 'Whatever they say about me, people have said worse,' Sirius assured him. He felt more passionately about Moony and whatever unfriendly explanations people came up with to explain his poor health.

'They'll get bored with you eventually,' Sam assured him, his voice partially teasing.

Sirius laughed but sobered up fairly quickly. 'Would… would it be too much to ask for you to keep my past quiet? Not for me, I don't really mind, but Harry…'

Sam smiled. 'I will keep it to myself. Still, I think that Ben heard, too, and he does not keep secrets.'

'It's not a secret,' stressed Sirius. 'But I would be thankful if you didn't shout it from the rooftops.'

Sam nodded. 'I won't,' he promised.

'Thanks.' They sat in silence for a bit, watching Harry and Ben climb around the monkey bars. Sirius was very glad that Harry had found such a good friend. He really did seem to be doing okay, at school, too. Mr Clark had promised to let him know if there were any problems and he asked Harry every day if anything was bothering him. So far, he was yet to hear anything but reports of tricky maths questions and the sports teacher who refused to let him pair up with Ben. And that, Sirius felt, they could deal with.

'Actually, I was going to ask you for a favour,' said Sam, breaking Sirius out of his thoughts. 'As it turns out, Charlie has been invited to a slumber party on Saturday. Carolyn will be at home and I was thinking of taking her out for a movie and a nice meal. Do you think you could have Ben that night?'

Sirius instantly agreed, grateful for any chance to return the favour. He also took it as confirmation that Sam believed what Sirius had told him about being wrongly imprisoned.

When asked Harry instantly took to the idea, too, and Ben was incredibly excited. His long list of things they would be doing on Saturday night was cut short by the fact that Harry finally wanted to go home for dinner and see how Moony was doing.

-oOo-

 _Alright, that's it for now! Please do tell me what you think and I think I can promise you that the next chapter will be along quicker than this one was :-)_

 _DFTBA!_


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